Odds and Ends, Vol. 5

I've just discovered a new writer, Tony Woodlief.  He's articulating so many things I have running around in my head, and much more elegantly too.

Here is one on the virtue of not being special.  My favorite lines: "This is not, however, because we are destined for inconsequential lives. Many of us just have to recalibrate our understanding of what it means to live well. To craft beauty, to care for those who need us, to live honorably—surely these are the elements of a great life, though television viewers don’t care to see a sturdy grandfather or an orphanage director profiled on the E! Channel."  In short?  We are called to great purpose, but not necessarily to greatness itself.  How wonderful.

Here is Rod Dreher's response to Woodlief's reflection (and I must give credit to Dreher for pointing me to Woodlief in the first place!)  As usual, an excellent response.

A history of the Midwest.  As a Midwesterner, I was interested to read this book review, because it is completely true that those of us from the middle are different from the coasts.  

The Rhyme of History: Lessons of the Great War.  Long, but interactive with original photos from the Great War (aka WWI).  We are in the centennial year of that war's beginning, and I'm sure many more articles of this type will be forthcoming, but this is a nice introduction and bridge to understanding both the war, and the world it created.  I think the Great War gets short shrift because WWII has overshadowed it in public memory.  Some of it is that the scale of World War II was simply larger, and some of it that there were many more visible veterans around.  The last living Great War veteran died a few years ago, well into his 90s; the veterans of World War II are also getting on in years, but interest in reenactment and reality television have kept that war much more present)  In any case, any study of the 20th century must begin with the Great War, as it set the stage for much that came after and forever changed the landscape (both literally and figuratively).

The Decline of the Family Friendly City.  This article piggy-backs nicely with Jonathan Last's excellent book, What to Expect When No One is Expecting, and articulates many of the things I personally find difficult about raising children in the city.  The problem I see is that as cities move increasingly away from welcoming families and prioritizing housing for singles and couples, as well as making public spaces friendly for dogs but not for children, and as the societal landscape moves toward smaller families that don't live in the city for the most part, the city culture becomes one that is not only unfriendly to families, but in many cases, actively hostile.  I am excruciatingly familiar with the dead stares at my (mostly well-behaved) children when I enter an establishment, get on the bus, or otherwise just live my life in the city.  The suggestion that children are worth having and raising is met with suspicion, hostility, anger, and disbelief.  Don't get me wrong--I've had plenty of positive experiences in the city with my children, and I've had times when the kindness of strangers overwhelmed me, but the overall trend seems to be heading in the opposite direction, and I think true city diversity should make room for everyone, families included.  We all benefit when families are welcomed because families tend to produce stabilizing influences on a neighborhood, provide ballast, and many other intangibles to rich community life.

On Truth Telling (or not).

For those of us parents: Don't Help My Kids.  Why having a hands-off approach (within reason) is a good thing for our kids.  I'm a great believer in benign neglect when it comes to regulating children's play, and I think kids learn a lot of social skills and life skills when they have to work things out for themselves, and between themselves.  There is, however, a fine line between benign neglect and expecting other parents to look out for your children, and I'm aware of the tension, which I've not found an easy resolution to.  

And related: Parenting with Authority.  In short: Always Mean What You Say.  I've been pondering this for a while now.

Hands Free Mama does it again: letting go of expectations and embracing the mess.  As someone who struggles a lot with the basic messiness of kids in all forms (I have mild OCD in this direction; I'm working on it), this spoke to me.  It is also a point upon which I struggle with our life in the city--are we somehow depriving our children of the chance to roam free by staying?  A question we keep pondering.  So far, the answer remains, no.  It is better to stay, at least for now.

From Momastery: Don't be Pretty, Be Beautiful.  A reminder to cultivate the inside, and not focus so much on the outer shell.

Finally, just in time for Valentine's Day, and to dovetail with my post from Monday: 19 Things I Love About You (including a printable!).  This little exercise is good for anyone in your life, not just kids.  

The Narnia wardrobe.  What a fun playspace!  

Amazing sandsculptures.