Book 4:49~
"Be like a rocky promontory against which the restless surf continuously pounds; it stands fast while the churning sea is lulled to sleep at its feet. I hear you say, "How unlucky that this should happen to me!" Not at all! Say instead, "How lucky I am that I am not broken by what has happened and am not afraid of what is about to happen. The same blow might have struck any one, but not many would have absorbed it without capitulation and complaint."Tuesday, September 24, 2024
Talking Tuesday: Marcus Aurelius' Meditations
Tuesday, December 12, 2023
Talking Tuesday: Nigredo/Dark Night of the Soul
I've written a few times in this space about Rhyd Wildermuth's work; he has a unique voice and perspective that I find interesting and refreshing. I don't agree with everything he writes, but he always gives me something to think about.
Rhyd's substack today was on what he calls nigredo, the part of the alchemy process where the elements are burned down to their most basic essence before being transformed into something else. He writes:
"Nigredo isn’t a singular moment, however, but rather a repeating process. In alchemy, substances required multiple transformations, a repeating cycle from nigredo to rubedo and then back again. What we think we know and who we think we are likewise must be blackened repeatedly, “destroyed” (though never annihilated) and then reforged like the repeating seasons of the earth. We die, are born, and then die again so to be reborn, all the while still “living” and striving towards a time when the drives that defeat us and the drives that create us become lovers to each other." ~Rhyd Wildermuth, On Nigredo, FFrom the Forests of Arduinna Substack, 12/12/23Friday, September 22, 2023
Meditations on Life
My older three kids just returned from their Upper School retreat but they are tired, so the house is strangely quiet. Ponchik had me and my husband all to herself for 2.5 days and that was a unique experience for everyone! I thought she would talk our ears off (because she isn't called Talky Pants for nothing) but actually, she was pretty quiet. And slow. So, so, so slow. She's pokey at the best of times, but without her siblings as a prod, everything took twice as long.
I'm hesitant to even write this, because it can be bad for me as a writer, but I'm circling something right now, creatively speaking. I don't even know if it will become a story, or it is just some creative process I'm being asked to go through for some other reason. But the process is harder than I thought it would be. There are a lot of pieces that have shaken loose inside me and they are jumbling around and it is uncomfortable. And I wasn't looking for it! It just kind of fell into my lap unexpectedly this summer. I was thinking maybe I only had two books in me. And maybe I do, since I don't yet know what "this" is. But synchronicity is something I don't like to ignore, so I'm sitting with it all and trying to make sense of what I'm circling around and why. Which is a long roundabout way of saying nothing at all.
While this has nothing to do with the work above, I recently ran across this beautiful interview between Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper about grief, faith, and life. It's not very long and I highly recommend it!
Thursday, July 14, 2022
Talking Tuesday (on a Thursday): Wild and Wonderful
This week, I heard Psalm 53 chanted in Aramaic. (It the language spoken by the Jews at the time of Jesus; it is nearly extinct, but there are a few places in Georgia that still speak it). I can't even describe the sound or the wild place it conjured for me. There are some definite affinities with Georgian music, which has similiar tonalities, but this is beautiful even beyond that. Listen to the end; it is worth the time!
Tuesday, March 1, 2022
Talking Tuesday: Theotokos Covers the World
I don't have anything profound to say today, but I do want to share an icon by Ivanka Demchuk. She is an Eastern Rite Catholic artist in Ukraine, and her work is startlingly beautiful and profound. Her etsy shop has many different and wonderful prints of her work, and while the post office in her part of the country is closed, she has said she will ship out as soon as possible.
I find her iconography incredibly moving. I can't stop thinking about the image above in particular, as it seems to me that the Theotokos is absorbing all the chaos of the world below. In traditional iconography, the first layer of the icon is done in what is called "roskrysh" or chaos. The egg tempera pigment is left deliberately rustic and mottled, so that when it is applied, there is a grainy character to it, similar to the pigmentation in the circle around the Theotokos. As the various layers of light are applied on top of that, the roskrysh is absorbed into the higher lights, but still shows through a bit, symbolizing the chaos that underlies all creation.
Ms. Demchuk's Transfiguration and Appearance of Christ are similarly profound.
Tuesday, September 21, 2021
Talking Tuesday: Master and His Emissary
In his latest substack newsletter, Rod Dreher writes about Iain McGilcrist's work on the brain, and McGilcrist's observation that Western culture has prioritized left brain dominance over balance with the right to great detriment. (McGilcrist's work is dense, but this short video is a great overview). Basically, says Gilcrist, the right side of the brain is the master, because it sees big picture, makes lots of different sorts of connections, and is creative but can be prone to madness.
The left brain must be the emissary of the right so that both sides work together for an experience of reality which deals with the tangible and rational, but also lives in spiritual reality, the amorphous realm of mystery that we can only glimpse in slivers from time to time, because a view of the whole would be too much for us. Our mystics and seers are ones who get to see more of that realm and live in it more fully than we. They give us a window on it.
Left brain dominance cannot see the forest for the trees; it is a kind of tunnel vision that not only thinks itself the master, but no longer perceives the presence of the right brain and is insistent that such a thing cannot exist. To put it another way, it's like a tree in the middle of the forest sees only itself, and is blind to the fact that it is part of a forest, a larger ecosystem of reality.
Writes Dreher:
"Reading McGilchrist [IM], it seems to me that the experience of consciousness is like what quantum physics tells us about reality: that it is both wave and particle. We live within a wave field that only becomes particle-ized through observation. When the left brain wishes to fix on something to understand it, it isolates the thing, but what it sees is only a partial picture of reality, because it denies the wave context (and has to, in order to see the particle). Yet a purely right-brain perception of reality cannot perceive the reality of the particle in isolation, so it too provides only a partial picture of reality. The truth is, living in time, we can never fully apprehend reality. But we can know it through participating in it.
IM quotes Herbert McCabe: “When we speak of God, we do not clear up a puzzle; we draw attention to a mystery.”" ~Rod Dreher, "Detaching the Limpet," Daily Dreher Substack newsletter, September 18, 2021.
I've been thinking about these sorts of things all year. What does it mean to live in the balance of the left and right brains? How do we participate in the mystery of reality that is not tangible? How do we orient our telos such that it reflects these things, and what does that mean for day to day living?
I have no pat answers, but I suppose the questions are perhaps an orientation toward understanding. It's maddening sometimes, like I have a shine of something important in the corner of my eye that I can't quite make out, but when I try to look directly at it, it disappears. But maybe that is the point--one cannot approach these things head on, but can only sidle up to them from an angle, hoping for a sliver of insight.
Tuesday, June 22, 2021
The Soul Cages
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| Japanese Kintsugi (gold repair) |
Kate Davies had a post this spring that discussed why mending is important, not only for creative practice, but for the health of ourselves, our world, our souls. The post is taken from her 2019 book Wheesht, and I keep thinking about mending as a larger concept.
(Around the same time, I had a discussion with a friend about where to start with a novel, and I said to start with a big question or theme you want to work through. I've been a bit stuck about where to go with my next book, but after that question, and reading Kate's post: Physician heal thyself. I've been thinking about some big questions since then).
I think it is interesting to consider what resonates culturally, as it speaks to what our deep anxieties and unmet needs are. From a quick perusal of some popular fantasy fiction (and by popular, I mean fanatic reader followings, with millions of books sold), I notice a few things. First is the desire for intimacy, but not just with a romantic partner (although that is present), but the desire for intimacy in a family setting. To be truly known by your family, and if not by your family of origin, then the family you construct in its absence or dysfunction.
Related to the first, the second is the desire for unconditional acceptance by one's romantic partner and family. In this unconditional acceptance is the idea that you stick through the hard times, through thick and thin. I do find there is an element of fantasy there, as the thick and thin times in these novels tend to come from external pressures rather than from self-generated interpersonal conflict, but that's something to tease apart another time.
Finally, there is a deep desire for an enchanted world, and a fight to be had against the forces of evil. That is to say, a world that exists on more planes than we can perceive or rationally prove, and that has a spiritual dimension to it that is real and life-giving. In fantasy novels, the enchantment often comes from within the characters themselves in the form of magical abilities, but there is also a kind of magic in the air of these stories that exists as atmosphere.
I'm also increasingly bothered by stories where the resolution of the conflict is found by the protagonist "following their bliss," even if it means blowing apart a marriage or family, or leaving a rooted community. I fail to see how that can ultimately feed the soul and make for lasting flourishing. A plant without good roots will wither and die, even if it looks good initially. Plants thrive around other plants. Similarly, a plant that is in the process of rooting itself in the soil will sometimes look a little peaky and sad, but if you give it some time and care, it will often flourish dramatically.
The meaning in the metaphor is that living rooted in community is messy and difficult. Relationships are never clean and smooth, and there are always people in life that you'd rather not have to deal with. But I also think those people are there to rub against my thorny bits, to smooth over my ragged edges. Does it feel good? Absolutely not. Is it good for my soul? Absolutely yes.
The ultimate goal is God Himself. To be so consumed by that relationship that it is validated and real--a consummation. To ascend the mountain and find ourselves at the foot of the Cross, on top of Golgotha, the place of Adam's skull. Christ voluntarily eats the apple of death in order to pour life into Adam's skull and so reveals the purpose of death: to transform that death back into the glory of Eden in self-sacrifice. He asks us to die on purpose, to die to ourselves, to our will, to provide the seeds for the flourishing of the world.
This cracking open of ourselves in service of mending and flourishing is bound to hurt, bound be discouraging at times, even oppressive. But the Comforter has come and if we can keep the summit in sight, instead of trying to eat the apple again and again, perhaps we can make a little more progress on our journey.
Tuesday, April 20, 2021
Talking Tuesday: Kristin Lavransdatter

As a kind of Lenten penance project, I decided I was going to make my way through Kristin Lavransdatter. There are many of my acquaintance who love this triology for its spiritual depth and beauty; I thought surely I would love it too. I tried reading it several years ago, but gave up in the first chapter. It was so slow, so overfull of description of 14th century Norway.
This Lent, after reading another glowing recommendation in a Substack newsletter, I thought, I must read this book, even if it is a slog. The first couple of chapters were again exceedingly slow. Kristin is a seven-year-old child at the beginning, and it was difficult to get into her as a character. But Sigrid Undset didn't win the Nobel Prize for Literature for nothing. She carefully weaves in the story of Kristin's parents, Lavrans and Ragnfrid, while we wait for Kristin to mature. I admit, I was more captivated by their story (and continue to be, if I'm honest).
Lavrans pulls his wife aside at the end of Book 1 to talk to her during the celebration of Kristin's wedding. Things Are Revealed that shake Lavrans to his core, although he does not show this to his wife, who thinks her revelations mean nothing to him, that she is nothing to him. She continues to shrivel inside, although she does not show this to anyone. It is only when Lavrans is an old man, approaching the end, that he and Ragnfrid reach real understanding, emotional connection, and rapprochement. It is a beautiful thing to read, but also bittersweet, since it came so late in their lives together.
Kristin, on the other hand, is a train wreck of epic proportions. It is hard to read all the poor decisions she makes in her life that put her where she is by the end of Book 2, but at the same time, the spiritual revelation she has then is a glorious and beautiful thing. But again, it comes so late.
The recurring theme (to my mind at least) is how much we can hurt those closest to us by being willfully blind to our own faults and failings. It is entirely possible to erect a Potemkin village of a life that shatters in the least wind. We have a responsibility to the world more generally, but close to home more specifically, to soften our hearts and see our own faults and work to overcome them (and in a Christian context, we do this with God's help and the sacraments He gave us, including confession and repentance).
- O Lord and Master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despondency, lust for power and idle talk.
- But grant unto me, Thy servant, a spirit of purity, humility, patience and love.
- Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own faults and not to condemn my brother.
- For blessed art Thou unto the ages of ages. Amen.
- ~The Prayer of St. Ephrem the Syrian, prayed daily during Orthodox Lent.
I suppose another theme is that it is never too late to try to put things right and start again. Lavrans goes to his grave having made peace with the world and his wife. Kristin has seven sons and is married a long time before she really understands how she has wronged her husband, but her revelation brings her to her knees. I'm curious to see where this new understanding will take her in Book 3: The Cross, as she becomes an old woman.
Tuesday, March 9, 2021
Talking Tuesday: Unorthodox
I had an endoscopy yesterday (routine, nothing new) and so spent the whole of yesterday afternoon parked on my bed with a DVD player and Netflix as my companions (and my knitting, natch). I watched an older version of Persuasion with Sally Hawkins in the Anne Elliot role, and then turned to the Netflix limited series Unorthodox, based on the memoir of a woman who left a Satmar Hasidic community.
I'm still thinking about the show today, and am now interested to read the book as well. (A friend read it recently and enjoyed it).

The series follows a married 19-year-old Esther Shapiro (Esty for short) as she flees the confines of the extremely tight-knit and closed Satmar community in Williamsburg, NY for a new life in Berlin.
The Satmars are unique in that they speak Yiddish as their first language, and emigrated from Hungary around the time of the second World War, fleeing the Nazi persecution. Many of them lost family members to the Shoah. The memory of that loss is very present in the community, and they see repopulating the Jewish people as one of their duties to God, hence the big families and intense focus on child-bearing and rearing. They also view their separateness as their duty to God, since, in their view, assimilation to European society was what led to the Holocaust, which they see as God's punishment for abandoning their traditional ways of life. The show is subtitled, as much of the dialogue is in Yiddish.
Shira Haas is unbelievably good as Esty. She's tiny but has a powerful screen presence that keeps you riveted to your seat. I love how the series wove together the story of her life before and after her marriage to Yacov, her young husband, with the new life she begins to build in Berlin.

The clever storytelling contrasts the two sides while managing to portray the Satmar community in a nuanced and largely sympathetic light. (So often, these sorts of stories are grossly unbalanced). I thought one of the great features of Esty's character is that she isn't a square peg in a round hole; she wants to live the life of an ultra-Orthodox wife and mother, but she has some dreams and marital troubles that get in the way of fully settling into it. The costumes and sets are wonderful--so much detail and care went into it. (There is a short "making of" show that follows the series that is an interesting look behind the scenes).
I remember reading a memoir (or perhaps a novel) many years ago about a similar story, of a woman married in her late teens in an ultra-Orthodox community, who later left it for a secular milieu. It was fascinating to me on a number of levels. A late '90s arthouse film with Renee Zellweger called A Price Above Rubies explored similar themes to Unorthodox, and while I liked the Zellweger film very much, I liked Unorthodox even better.
Shira Haas also appears in Shtisel, another Netflix show from Israel about an ultra-Orthodox family in Jerusalem. I will probably give that a whirl at some point.
Anyway, a bit of a blather for a Tuesday morning, but I recommend the show!
Tuesday, February 23, 2021
Talking Tuesday: Dear Comrades!

The story is told primarily through the eyes of a true-believer Party member, and her journey is quite extraordinary. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all the layers of meaning in the film, particularly since the ending is a bit ambiguous and left me with a lot of questions about what happened in the following years. Shot in black and white, the cinematography is note-perfect and deserves all the festival accolades it has received.
A number of questions are asked by the film: what do you do when all you hold sacred is shown to be a Potemkin village? What does it mean to remember the past and honor it without idolizing or demeaning it? How do we live in the truth of the terrible things that happen to us without breaking? What does it mean to own your mistakes?
It is a film well worth seeing.
Tuesday, November 10, 2020
Tuesday, November 3, 2020
Talking Tuesday: The Stories We Tell
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| Image via Blackbird and Goose |
I'm starting a reading group with the parents at my kids' school, the goal of which is to read good literature and discuss it. The idea is to cultivate a mind garden that is seeded with good and nourishing plants, rather than being sucked dry by weeds and pests (i.e. doom scrolling). Some of the selections will be books our kids read as part of the classical curriculum, and others will be works that endure because they speak to the universal human condition. I'm using some abridgements when the original work is too long to expect working adults to make it through in a month's time.
This month, we are reading an abridged (and simplified for kids) version of The Count of Monte Cristo, a daring adventure story of power struggles, treachery, double-dealing, treasure hunts, and a quest for revenge. I've been thinking about the various themes in the story, and how to approach the discussion, and it occurred to me that the stories we tell ourselves really can shape our perception of who we are.
Movies and television dramas have been telling darker and darker stories for the past 20 years or more, stories of hunger for power, stories that idolize consumption and materialism, stories that feature supposedly "good" characters who engage in double dealing, lying, and general untrustworthiness. There is now a kind of trope in visual story telling that no character is ever safe from being killed off (often in a gruesome or emotionally wrought way). It is hard to get attached to characters or even relate to their experiences when you know they might be killed off in the next episode, and bespeaks the truth of a whole generation that has been raised in an atmosphere of anxiety and insecurity.
There is also now a trope amongst fiction writers that you must take your character to the extremes of what you can do to them. Whatever has happened so far, be sure to raise the stakes even higher to place your main character (or characters in an ensemble) into the most perilous and fraught circumstance you can think of, and maybe they get out of it, and maybe they don't. Every scene must crackle with conflict. Take away everything the main characters hold dear in the quest to solve whatever problem you've laid out for them in the plot. In other words, always take your character to the brink of their existence, and then see what happens, otherwise, what are you doing writing fiction? (I don't agree with this, by the way. I think there are many interesting and deep stories that feature characters who go on a journey that doesn't involve being completely broken by the process).
These tropes don't exactly point to a society that is experiencing high levels of trust and security or one that is dedicated to the attainment of virtue. There are many smarter people than me who have written at length about why this change has occurred (Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone and Sherry Turkle's Alone Together are both excellent places to start), but that doesn't really matter right now, because this is where we find ourselves.
David French wrote over the weekend about how virtue is only found when tested. We may say we are brave, or compassionate, or honest, but until those things are tested in some way, we really don't know whether we have them. And, as French points out, passing a test of virtue doesn't mean you keep them forever and always. Like muscle definition, virtue is something that must be actively cultivated throughout our lives, not just once. The continual cultivation means that we are more likely to survive a test of virtue, but we are still fallen humans, and make many mistakes. That said, we can dust ourselves off when we fail a test, confess and repent, and try to do it better the next time we are tested. One might argue that the pursuit of virtue also the pursuit of holiness.
The best place to start is with stories that speak to the truth of the human condition, and to develop the grit to keep going even when it is hard, or seems impossible. The practice of grit is found in the small everyday things we do, such as how we handle our physical comfort (or lack thereof), how we speak to our families while under time pressure, how we respond to unexpected changes in our routines. I'm sorry to say that I've failed many of test of virtue over the years, and wish to do better. To be better.
Time to get on my knees and pull some weeds.
*If anyone here is interested in reading along and seeing the discussion guide, please leave a comment and let me know.
Tuesday, October 13, 2020
Talking Tuesday: Sanctuary
That said, here are some additional thoughts I have about both Zuboff and Brooks. Technology (used here to refer the Internet) is embedded in our lives, and short of some wide-scale catastrophe, screens will be part of our lives and our children's lives, and with it, the social media services that form the scaffolding for Internet use. Social media encourages a kind of Narcissus-like fixation on the self that prevents users from both being able to self-differentiate from tribe, but also to see the other side of an issue. By allowing ourselves to be lured into spending much of our lives online, we lose the ability to formulate things for ourselves as our attention spans and capacity for deep thought erode, our vocabulary narrows and with it the range of possible thought, and the small predetermined menu of options given us by the tech industry begins to feel like an inevitability, and indeed, the small parameters of our lives (Zuboff, 467).
Ceding so much power to a handful of tech companies in the form of limitless data collection (the so-called shadow text of any online interaction) means we all live in glass houses with no exit. Aside from being a guaranteed path to madness, it throws aside centuries of hard-won dignity, individual responsibilities and obligations, and the ability to make a life of one's own (Zuboff 185, 469). Zuboff proposes that humans have the right to sanctuary, a place where private life can occur and flourish, where the spirit can fly and be at rest (Zuboff, 5, 477). Such opacity is a basic human dignity, and should be protected against incursions by an increasingly aggressive capitalist mien.
Matthew B. Crawford makes a similar argument when he writes about the attentional commons in The World Beyond Your Head: that the right to occupy public space free from noise and advertising is increasingly available only to those who can afford it. Taking that point a step further in Why We Drive, he notes that the attentional commons has even colonized your car, so that now even your driving experience, formerly one of individual agency and freedom from the relentless demands of commercial life, is peppered with data mining and advertising opportunities, further degrading our attention and increasing distractability (Crawford, Why We Drive, 307-308). "Do we want to make the basic animal freedom of moving your body through space contingent on the competence of large organizations?' (Crawford, Why We Drive, 298, emphasis in original). Moreover, as Zuboff notes, "In this new product regime the simple product functions that we seek are now hopelessly enmeshed in a tangled mixture of software, services, and networks. The very idea of a functional, effective, affordable product or service as a sufficient basis for economic exchange is dying" (237). It's no longer enough to make a useful thing. The thing must be "smart" and provide goods back to its maker in the form of data. Consumers do not want or need "smart" things, but Big Tech's survival depends on convincing large swathes of the population that such things are better than their "dumb" alternatives. Because: advertising and legibility produce huge profits for a handful of powerful people.
The public sphere is now given over to making humanity as legible as possible to both the tech companies and the governments that have climbed in bed with them, gobbling up data about our habits, preferences, private thoughts and letters, political leanings, religious faith, purchases, health history, and much more. When was the last time you were in a public place that did not have a screen in it, or loud music playing? Even if the music is inoffensive, it is still an intrusion into the private space of your mind, and the ability to think deeply without distraction or commercialization.
There is a small restaurant in my neighborhood that is in a converted row house. The dining area is in what was the living room portion of the house, and was formerly cozy and intimate, with small tables, a roaring fire, and dark wood. The food was a bit pricey, but very good and fresh. It felt like a quintessential English pub. A few years ago, the owners decided to install three 60" television screens in the 200 square foot dining room, making it difficult to maintain eye contact with a dining companion and conversation of any sort impossible. (I don't care how intentional you are about resisting screen distraction, when three 60" televisions are on and blaring in a 200 square foot room, you cannot ignore them). The best one can do in this new and "improved" space is to hope that whatever is on the screen something inoffensive like a ball game and your food comes quickly so you can get the meal over with. It does not inspire me to eat there. Even outdoor spaces have been colonized for advertising and data collection, as cities install sidewalk chargers for mobile devices that also hoover up any data in the vicinity.
Zuboff points out many other troubling aspects of social media and Big Data, including the ability of Facebook or Google to quietly engineer elections or subvert democratic process, without people ever being aware of such machinations (298-303). It turns out that democracy is an existential threat to the economic model of Big Tech. The big firms of Silicon Valley are not regulated by or overseen by the government but have enormous power over how things actually work out legally and otherwise in society, all done beneath a shroud of secrecy. Ironic really. Silicon Valley puts everyone in a glass cage, but expects to be able to live in peace and quiet in an iron fortress with no more than a "trust me" assurance that no stones will be lobbed our way. "The commodification of behavior under the conditions of surveillance capitalism pivots us toward a societal future in which an exclusive division of learning is protected by secrecy, indecipherability, and expertise....These markets do not depend upon you except first as a source of raw material from which surplus is derived, and then as a target for guaranteed outcomes" (Zuboff, 327).
Living in a glass house is psychologically paralyzing. Everyone has the right to have secrets and anonymity, or at least they should. We need places of refuge, places of quiet sanctuary to keep ourselves together and grow strong and resilient. "Those who would eviscerate sanctuary are keen to take the offensive, putting us off guard with the guilt-inducing question "What have you got to hide?" But as we have seen, the crucial developmental challenges of the self-other balance cannot be negotiated adequately without the sanctity of 'disconnected' time and space for the ripening of inward awareness and the possibility of reflexivity: reflection on and by oneself. The real psychological truth is this: If you've got nothing to hide, you are nothing" (Zuboff, 479, emphasis in the original).
We need opacity for the sake of our souls, and true human flourishing is found in the protection of private spaces for the individual and family. The health of our minds and bodies rests in qualities of "contemplation, autonomy, rejuvenation, confiding, freedom, creativity, recovery, catharsis, and concealment. These are experiences without which we can neither flourish nor usefully contribute to our families, communities, and society" (Zuboff, 479). Life involves a great deal of uncertainty and insecurity, and we stand to lose a good deal if we blindly hand over our privacy in pursuit of safety and security. There is mystery in the unknown, deep intimate knowledge that can only be gained in an unrestrained milieu.
Unfortunately, as a societal measure, individual privacy entails a great deal of social trust, which is in great decay in the present time. David Brooks notes the many ways we do not trust each other or our institutions, and how much that has changed in the last 50 years or so. It is also true that the decay of trust is somewhat cyclical in societies, and share common features. Brooks writes: "People feel disgusted by the state of society. Trust in institutions plummets. Moral indignation is widespread. Contempt for established power is intense. A highly moralistic generation appears on the scene. It uses new modes of communication to seize control of the national conversation. Groups formerly outside of power rise up and take over the system. These are moments of agitation, excitement, frenzy and accusation, mobilization and passion" (Brooks, The Atlantic, October 5, 2020, hereafter Brooks, Oct 2020). While Brooks does not explicitly say so, I would also argue that these moments follow what Yuri Slezkine details as apocalyptic millenarianism, in which a disenfranchised minority group seizes control of power and culture to try to achieve a utopia, usually through violent means.
The current drive to utopia is in reaction to the individualism and liberation of the Baby Boomer generation, whose drive to pursue their own happiness placed much of society in a precarious and insecure position. Boomers had the benefit of an older generation that provided foundation security, but that foundation is now long gone. Families are rarely intact these days, and the economy is a disaster of unfettered raw capitalism, undigested through the laws of democracy. Many younger people have been excluded from financial and personal security, and now seek it in any form possible, even if that means social credit systems, government and Big Data surveillance, and the general loss of privacy as a norm and right.
Writes Brooks,
"Their worldview is predicated on threat, not safety. Thus the values of the Millennial and Gen Z generations that will dominate in the years ahead are the opposite of Boomer values: not liberation, but security; not freedom, but equality; not individualism, but the safety of the collective; not sink-or-swim meritocracy, but promotion on the basis of social justice" (Brooks, Oct 2020).
Attachment theory says that several dichotomies or dyads exist within all of us, that either bind or alienate us from our circumstances. Either we feel safe or at risk, lost or at home, broken or whole. Capitalism is heavily invested in making our attachments insecure--feeling unsafe, lost, and broken--so that we will be more likely to buy the products and services that promise to alleviate those feelings, or at the least, surrender our data so that we can be aggressively marketed to about our attachments.
Social trust is part of the larger picture of attachment, and the collective experience of the past 40 years or so has betrayed trust again and again, as institutional leaders are shown to be morally or financially corrupt (or both), institutions seek to shore up corrupt leaders rather than root it out, and the economic system fails to serve a large percentage of people. The reason why institutional health is important is that institutions are supposed provide the basis for personal formation as well as a place to belong. Instead they become performative and sterile, unable to do any of the hard work of transformation. "The rot in our structures spreads to a rot in ourselves" (Brooks, Oct 2020). And that's at the macro level.
On a personal level, our close social interactions are fraught with instability and moral liquidity. "The evidence suggests that trust is an imprint left by experience, not a distorted perception" (Brooks, Oct 2020). The instability of the economy means shallow roots in physical communities, as people pull up stakes to go where the jobs are, rather than staying close to family and friends who provide the thick bonds of social trust. While we don't need to be intimately attached to society at large, we do need to be securely attached to one another to flourish, and when we attach securely to one another, that thriving ripples out into larger society. This bonds are frayed and worn, notes Brooks. "In the age of disappointment, our sense of safety went away. Some of this is physical insecurity: school shootings, terrorist attacks, police brutality, and overprotective parenting at home that leaves young people incapable of handling real-world stress [or conversely, absentee parents who leave children to fend for themselves]" (Brooks, Oct 2020).
In short, we live in a time of chaotic instability and distrust, where finding a secure place to belong and flourish is increasingly rare. When we cannot trust those around us, we try to make ourselves invulnerable, impermeable to the hurts and disappointments that could be shared in trustworthy relationships. We look for external ways to measure trustworthiness, and Big Tech is all too happy to oblige, for the price of your private self in the form of data mining. True intimacy declines in the face of such external measurements (Zuboff, 206-207), and is replaced by entertainment and abstraction. We seek security in rigidity, ideology, and tribe (Brooks, Oct 2020). It follows that we are in the midst of a grave existential crisis. The job of culture is to respond to common problems, but when the problems change, the common response must shift as well, which is almost always fraught.
"The cultural shifts we are witnessing offer more safety to the individual at the cost of clannishness within society. People are embedded more in communities and groups, but in an age of distrust, groups look at each other warily, angrily, viciously. The shift toward a more communal viewpoint is potentially a wonderful thing, but it leads to cold civil war unless there is a renaissance of trust. There's no avoiding the core problem. Unless we can find a way to rebuild trust, the nation does not function" (Brooks, Oct 2020).
So how do we rebuild trust and provide refuge for ourselves and others? Mostly in the small invisible ways that will not show up on a news feed, or help us economically or socially climb a ladder of success. It is in cultivating virtues of reliability and dependability in ourselves. Providing a soft place to land for those we love. In challenging ourselves to make promises--being open and vulnerable in a radical way-- and hold fast to those promises, we extend a fragile branch of trust to others around us. If they are able to return it to us, then trust builds. Trust breeds truth, and vice versa. So the path to trust is a long one, and will not happen overnight.
Vulnerability in relationships is hard, because we don't want to be hurt, particularly if we have been hurt badly in the past. But I think we humans hunger for vulnerability. I see it in the stories we tell ourselves--the books that are lodestones of culture. We want to be in intimate relationships, but not all of us know how to achieve that sort of radical vulnerability. It means handing the inner most parts of yourself over to someone else and trusting that they will hold them and not use them as a weapon against you. It means having faith that the people you love and trust can hold not just the air-brushed public self, but the flawed inner self--your worst self on your worst day. We can't begin to trust people with our worst selves if we are forced to live in glass houses with no exit.
We need places of sanctuary--places free from prying eyes and listening ears and glowing screens. It is not enough to pursue invisibility within the glass house. We need fortresses of refuge, behind thick solid walls, curtained windows, and manned defenses. Keep secrets--yours and others. Get to know the landscape of your place in the world through real, lived experience. The future is likely to be digital in many ways. That does not mean we have to sacrifice our humanity on the altar of inevitability or cede our private lives to the glass-housed public square.
Build a fortress, and guard it with your life, even if only in your mind.
Sources:
Brooks, David. "Collapsing Levels of Trust are Devastating America," The Atlantic, October 5, 2020.
Crawford, Matthew B. Why We Drive: Toward a Philosophy of the Open Road. New York: HarperCollins, 2020.
Zuboff, Shoshana. The Age of Surveillance Capitalism: The Fight a Human Future at the New Frontier of Power. New York: Public Affairs, 2019.
Tuesday, October 6, 2020
Talking Tuesday: The Age of Survelliance Capitalism
I've been slogging through Shoshana Zuboff's The Age of Survelliance Capitalism: The Fight for A Human Future at the New Frontier of Power. Her book is important, but it would greatly have benefited from a strong editorial hand, as she is very wordy in a way that is frustrating to read. That said, there have been some real gems in the book so far. Her main insight is that the big tech companies that run our world (Google, Apple, Facebook, and Twitter) are all in the business of shaping human beings into something off whom they can make money. In other words, consumers who are merely the sum total of their desires. In order to do so, these companies have decided it is better to ask forgiveness than permission to smash through existing landscapes, and often not even to ask forgiveness.
The mantra of "move fast and break things," plus the increased fear after 9/11 has meant that not only do these companies regularly get away with it, the government is colluding with them to do so. When the government pushes back against the lawlessness, they find themselves greatly outmatched by the money and resources available to these behemoths. I found that part particularly disheartening. She writes that capitalism is never meant to be eaten raw, and that it should be cooked through the democratic processes of government and society, but the current system is bypassing all those things to present us with a rather raw state of affairs. Mostly without our consent.
Writes Zuboff: "Survelliance capitalism's ability to keep democracy at bay produced these stark facts. Two men at Google who do not enjoy the legitimacy of the vote, democratic oversight, or the demands of shareholder governance exercise control over the organization and presentation of the world's information. One man at Facebook who does not enjoy the legitimacy of the vote, democratic oversight, or the demands of shareholder governance exercises control over an increasingly universal means of social connection along with the information concealed in its networks" (127).
Furthermore, these men ask us to "trust them" when called to account for their actions. It's a sorry state of affairs, to be sure. Zuboff's book is important, as I said, but it could be much leaner, and it seems like so much of what she writes about is stuff commonly acknowledged at this point: namely that Big Tech wants to shape everything about us for monetary gain, including our private lives, leaving nothing beyond Big Data's reach. We must, in the way of Seeing Like a State, be made as legible as possible as human beings, and our behavior must be channeled and corralled into acceptable (read: profitable) avenues. Unpredictable human behavior means lost revenue opportunities. Therefore, the more a company can guide the user into predictable behavior channels, the more reliable the profit.
What the internet initially offered was the promise of individualized experience and greater access to information, within an interconnected human framework. The Internet was held out as scaffolding to thicken the ties that bind us, but in truth, it has served as an acid bath, dissolving much of what holds us together.
In a more elegant rendering of this same thought David Brooks writes in The Atlantic:
"We think of the 1960s as the classic Boomer decade, but the false summer of the 1990s was the high-water mark of that ethos. The first great theme of that era was convergence. Walls were coming down. Everybody was coming together. The second theme was the triumph of classical liberalism. Liberalism was not just a philosophy—it was a spirit and a zeitgeist, a faith that individual freedom would blossom in a loosely networked democratic capitalist world. Enterprise and creativity would be unleashed. America was the great embodiment and champion of this liberation. The third theme was individualism. Society flourished when individuals were liberated from the shackles of society and the state, when they had the freedom to be true to themselves.
...
When you look back on it from the vantage of 2020, moral freedom, like the other dominant values of the time, contained within it a core assumption: If everybody does their own thing, then everything will work out for everybody. If everybody pursues their own economic self-interest, then the economy will thrive for all. If everybody chooses their own family style, then children will prosper. If each individual chooses his or her own moral code, then people will still feel solidarity with one another and be decent to one another. This was an ideology of maximum freedom and minimum sacrifice.
It
all looks naive now. We were naive about what the globalized economy
would do to the working class, naive to think the internet would bring
us together, naive to think the global mixing of people would breed
harmony, naive to think the privileged wouldn’t pull up the ladders of
opportunity behind them. We didn’t predict that oligarchs would steal
entire nations, or that demagogues from Turkey to the U.S. would ignite
ethnic hatreds. We didn’t see that a hyper-competitive global
meritocracy would effectively turn all of childhood into elite travel
sports where a few privileged performers get to play and everyone else
gets left behind" (Brooks, The Atlantic).
Essentially, the business model pursued by Big Tech has so completely changed our human landscape, it is almost impossible to bridge the gap between the analog and digital generations. The analog generation has learned to work in the digital age, but still fundamentally thinks of the world in analog. Digital natives have a hard time understanding the world before the Internet; online existence is presented with a predetermined menu of options, based on previous behavior, movement, and interests, all controlled by shadowy figures, cloaked in secrecy, who are accountable to no one; certainly not the paean users of their products. They are not interested in gaining or retaining our trust, rather we are the product to be shaped for profit only, discarded when no longer useful.
I'm not sure what the solution is, given the reality of the world today; it is not possible for most of us to go off-grid and make shift for ourselves. I'm not even sure it is desirable, after seeing the effects of the isolation of the pandemic, for off-grid life is necessarily isolated.
We are meant to be in human community, bonded together by common goals and mutual affection and trust. I suppose one solution is to live as much life off-line as is feasible, and to find some bright red lines to guide usage, while understanding that no matter what steps we take to protect our privacy, any online activity is going to be tracked in some way. We must do what we can to curtain the prying eyes and deafen the listening ears.
References:
Zuboff, Shoshana. The Age of Survelliance Capitalism: The Fight for a Human Future At the New Frontier of Power. New York: PublicAffairs/Hachette, 2020.
Brooks, David. "Collapsing Levels of Trust Are Devastating America," The Atlantic, October 5, 2020.
Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Talking Tuesday: The House of Government
I finished Slezkine's House of Government over the weekend, hereafter called HoG. Some of this post is taken from my original thoughts about it in July, but I've tried to add more context here. I tape-flagged many passages, particularly in book one (his nearly thousand page tome is divided into several books, each with several chapters, organized by theme and chronology).
As I wrote previously, Slezkine is at pains to tell the story of Bolshevism as a story of a sectarian religion that overcame the secular authority to establish its own theocracy. By Slezkine's reckoning, the Bolsheviks were the first revolutionary force to succeed in taking over the State to do so.
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| Slezkine's epigraph |
Slezkine spends the entirety of chapter three on a long discussion of apocalyptic millenarianism both in the West and elsewhere, from the time of the earliest Christians right up to the present, across different religions and contexts, before tying it all off in a neat bow that places the Bolshevik/Marxist movement of the 19th century into that larger cultural impulse that emerges every so often in the face of major economic or societal change.
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| Building socialism and marching into a rational future. |
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| The House of Government. It is difficult to convey the scale of the place, but it is massive. |
The House of Government itself was part of this re-imaginging of the urban space, and took a staggeringly long time to build. It was a huge complex on the river across from the Kremlin, with multiple entryways and doors, plazas, and amenities. It housed thousands of people, plus a laundry, cinemaplex, theatre, gym, hair salon, post office, day care, primary school, medical clinic, social club, grocery store, laundry, cafeteria (to release the women from the drudgery of cooking family meals) and a radio station. There were 505 apartments housing more than 2600 people. The House was to provide a launchpad into the future of socialism, where life would be a seamless movement of work and home, a gathering of comrads transcending the homely bounds of filial piety.
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| The imagined Palace of Soviets. The scale is also difficult to render here, especially if you haven't been in Moscow and cannot conceive of the size of this. The Cathedral of Christ the Savior is a massive, massive structure. People are ants in comparison. The Palace was meant to dwarf the Cathedral by some good bit. This sketch won the design competition. Slezkine has the other finalists' drawings in the book, but this one was designed by the architect of the House of Government and fit the vision best. |
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| Rebuilt
Cathedral of Christ the Savior (on the original plan and to original
scale). The people in the foreground give some sense of size, and there
are two complete worship spaces inside the building, the grand upper
and the slightly more modest lower church. |
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| The Palace of Soviets complex, as imagined with a rationally redesigned street plan. Moscow is a medieval city with few straight streets (it looks rather like a wagon wheel that radiates out from the river and Kremlin). The Bolshevik architects aimed to tame it, rationalize it. They did not succeed. |
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| Lenin's Mausoleum. It is surprisingly a small and intimate space. The man responsible for Lenin's preservation, Boris Zbarsky, survived the Purges of the 1930s, only to be arrested shortly before Stalin's death. He died in 1954. His son, Ilya, carried on his work until his retirement in the late 1980s. |
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
Talking Tuesday: The Iron Woman
The Iron Woman
She has
a durable coat
forged of iron,
made in the fires of life.
This iron
worn thin,
reveals
obsidian glass
grown brittle.
Beneath the smooth
black surface
a soft thing
swells with
sadness and joy
the Feelings of Everything.
~Juliana Bibas
Summer 2020





















