Talking Tuesday: The Stories We Tell

Image via Blackbird and Goose

 

I'm starting a reading group with the parents at my kids' school, the goal of which is to read good literature and discuss it.  The idea is to cultivate a mind garden that is seeded with good and nourishing plants, rather than being sucked dry by weeds and pests (i.e. doom scrolling).  Some of the selections will be books our kids read as part of the classical curriculum, and others will be works that endure because they speak to the universal human condition.  I'm using some abridgements when the original work is too long to expect working adults to make it through in a month's time.  

This month, we are reading an abridged (and simplified for kids) version of The Count of Monte Cristo, a daring adventure story of power struggles, treachery, double-dealing, treasure hunts, and a quest for revenge.  I've been thinking about the various themes in the story, and how to approach the discussion, and it occurred to me that the stories we tell ourselves really can shape our perception of who we are.  

Movies and television dramas have been telling darker and darker stories for the past 20 years or more, stories of hunger for power, stories that idolize consumption and materialism, stories that feature supposedly "good" characters who engage in double dealing, lying, and general untrustworthiness.  There is now a kind of trope in visual story telling that no character is ever safe from being killed off (often in a gruesome or emotionally wrought way).  It is hard to get attached to characters or even relate to their experiences when you know they might be killed off in the next episode, and bespeaks the truth of a whole generation that has been raised in an atmosphere of anxiety and insecurity. 

There is also now a trope amongst fiction writers that you must take your character to the extremes of what you can do to them.  Whatever has happened so far, be sure to raise the stakes even higher to place your main character (or characters in an ensemble) into the most perilous and fraught circumstance you can think of, and maybe they get out of it, and maybe they don't.  Every scene must crackle with conflict.  Take away everything the main characters hold dear in the quest to solve whatever problem you've laid out for them in the plot.  In other words, always take your character to the brink of their existence, and then see what happens, otherwise, what are you doing writing fiction?  (I don't agree with this, by the way.  I think there are many interesting and deep stories that feature characters who go on a journey that doesn't involve being completely broken by the process).

These tropes don't exactly point to a society that is experiencing high levels of trust and security or one that is dedicated to the attainment of virtue.  There are many smarter people than me who have written at length about why this change has occurred (Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone and Sherry Turkle's Alone Together are both excellent places to start), but that doesn't really matter right now, because this is where we find ourselves.

David French wrote over the weekend about how virtue is only found when tested.  We may say we are brave, or compassionate, or honest, but until those things are tested in some way, we really don't know whether we have them.  And, as French points out, passing a test of virtue doesn't mean you keep them forever and always.  Like muscle definition, virtue is something that must be actively cultivated throughout our lives, not just once.  The continual cultivation means that we are more likely to survive a test of virtue, but we are still fallen humans, and make many mistakes.  That said, we can dust ourselves off when we fail a test, confess and repent, and try to do it better the next time we are tested.  One might argue that the pursuit of virtue also the pursuit of holiness.  

The best place to start is with stories that speak to the truth of the human condition, and to develop the grit to keep going even when it is hard, or seems impossible.  The practice of grit is found in the small everyday things we do, such as how we handle our physical comfort (or lack thereof), how we speak to our families while under time pressure, how we respond to unexpected changes in our routines.  I'm sorry to say that I've failed many of test of virtue over the years, and wish to do better.  To be better.  

Time to get on my knees and pull some weeds.

*If anyone here is interested in reading along and seeing the discussion guide, please leave a comment and let me know.