On Being Human

Christ in Gethsemane, Vasily Perov

It is difficult to know how to write about what is happening in Ukraine. I've heard many people who would struggle find Ukraine on a map suddenly have a hard and fast opinion about what is happening there and what it is about. I don't intend to add my voice to the fray, and am praying that cooler heads prevail in Washington and that the war ends soon.

That said, I can choose to create a spirit of peace within myself.  St. Seraphim of Sarov famously said: "Acquire a spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved."  

It is fitting, perhaps, that all this narrative dissonance comes as Lent begins for the Western Church on Wednesday. (We Orthodox still have a week of Cheesefare, but there is still the strong feeling that Lent is upon us).  The temptation toward evil is always present, but the pressure always increases during these times that are set aside to focus especially hard on our spiritual path.

What I want to say is let's all be human.  Remember that there are real people, living real lives who are affected by it all, no matter which side of the border they are on.  That words have power to tear down and build up.  That hatred does no good in the world.  That the world is not black and white.  That lots of people are scared about the future, and that fear comes out in strange ways sometimes.  Kindness is free, and can be given at any time, in any situation.  People are usually fighting tremendous battles that they do not show to the world.  

I think the best thing I can say about it is to repost Metropolitan Hilarion's letter to the diocese from this past weekend: 

Dear in the Lord Brothers & Sisters!

On the threshold of Great Lent, this salvific time of augmented prayer and self-correction, and in connection with events unfolding in the Ukrainian land, I turn to all with a heartfelt plea: refraining from excesses in watching television, following newspapers and the internet, and closing the doors of our hearts to the passions ignited by mass media, to augment our fervent prayers for peace throughout the world, for overcoming enmity and discord, for help for the suffering, for the repose of those who have departed into life eternal and the consolation of their friends and relatives, so that we all first and foremost remain humane and Orthodox Christians in these difficult times.

The approaching Great Lent is the journey to Christ’s Pascha. This path leads us from a state of idleness, impatience, vanity, and constant anxiety to spiritual peace, integrity, humility, and love. These holy traits do not arise within us without effort, but through adhering to the other world in our churches – the world of light, joy, hope, and kindness. Without participating in the divine services of Great Lent, which create a special atmosphere in our homes and in our lives, attaining such a spiritual state is very difficult, it may even be impossible. Striving toward God, establishing peace within our hearts and participating in the sacramental life of the Church of Christ, wherein lies our personal relationship with God, we reduce the level of evil in this world, we inspire others toward labors and spiritual feats of the Gospel, we enhance peace and brotherly relationships, and do not succumb to the temptations of various discords and divisions.

Therefore, I urge everyone to take advantage of every opportunity offered by the Church to preserve peace and goodness in our hearts, to spend this grace-filled time unto our salvation, so that we can all together meet and spend the radiant Paschal night in unity of spirit and brotherly love, in the renewal of all of our strengths and the spiritual joy in the Resurrected Christ and the victory of good over evil! Amen.

+HILARION
Metropolitan of Eastern America & New York
First Hierarch of the Russian Church Abroad

Life in Squares

Went to visit my parents this past weekend.  It was a bit hard to manage the kids' emotions from afar, but we got through it.  It was a great visit, and I'm so glad I got to go. My dad looks better than he did in November; we even took a short walk on Monday afternoon!  

I've spent the rest of this week trying to catch up and manage my anemia-fatigue.  We are sliding inexorably toward Lent, and I'm trying to get ready.  After two bouts of covid, (including long-covid symptoms), the edges of my capacity are always finite and visible.  

Toaster Sweater #1 & Simple Skirts

Peggy at Sew House 7 recently ran a sale on her popular Toaster sweater pattern to celebrate a regrade and I couldn't resist getting a pdf copy.  I have had such success with her patterns this past year, and I don't knit as fast as would be ideal for wardrobe purposes.  She also restocked her lovely wool-cotton jersey and since I've been wearing my wool-cotton jersey Coco on repeat this winter, I bought another yard and a half, hoping to squeak out a Toaster sweater version.

Nothing much to report on this.  I dithered a bit on the sizing, as I didn't want it too fitted, but I didn't want it sloppy either.  My more fitted clothing doesn't fit quite right at the moment.  

I've gained a fair bit of weight around my middle in the past six weeks (much to my dismay and consternation, as I've not changed anything...I'm working to get to the bottom of it, as well as making some lifestyle changes, but still.  It is frustrating.  I'm not someone who subscribes to the idea that the only good bodies are small bodies, but I feel better in my body when I am at the weight I've been maintaining since around 2015.  So I'm hoping this is a temporary glitch and not the new normal).  I did have a bit of an argument with myself about the basic idiocy of wearing elastic waistbands all the time because they don't constrict me during the day and therefore allowed me to gain weight by not providing adequate feedback before I slapped myself upside the head and told the eating-disordered part of my brain to shut up and go home.  

Anyway, I ended up going with a 10, on the idea that my size 10 Remy was a bit roomy for a summery blouse, but the 8 was more fitted to my preference.  In the wool-cotton jersey, that has very little stretch for a knit, I worried that an 8 would be too tight.  The 10 was exactly the right call, as I love the way this one fits.  I've been wanting something with a high (but not tight) neckline lately, as I can't stand anything tight around my neck (hot flashes!) but I'm cold because of being anemic.  It's a bizarre combination.

I did end up taking off the bottom band as it made the top entirely too long to be flattering on me, and I knew shortening the body to accomodate the band would throw off the proportions.  I did a baby hem of just under 3/8" and called it good.  (Which probably gives you a fair idea of how short-waisted I really am).  Because I was working with a yardage that was just shy of the recommendation, I cut the neck piece on the cross grain and had to piece a tiny bit of the inside of the bottom band but it looks fine and gets over my head okay.  As it happens, since I took off the bottom band anyway, I probably could have made it cutting the neck on the grain, but it doesn't matter.  

The skirt is a super simple knit skirt that I cut using the M7353 as my guide.  The fabric is a thicker quilted cotton knit I found at KnitFabric.com.  I skipped the pockets and used the waistband facing from the Free Range Slacks.  The stitching at the bottom of the facing is a little more visible than I thought it would be, but I could go back and hand stitch it if need be.  I did the hem by hand for that reason.  Since I had skipped the pockets, I also sewed a little fabric loop on the inside of the front facing so I could hook my pedometer to it. 

And because I am making really simple stuff lately, I also made a Free Range skirt hack out of chambray flannel last month and never showed it, so ta-da (shown with the same Toaster sweater):

No construction notes except that I used rayon seam tape on the pocket edges instead of fabric facing to reduce bulk on that seam.  I've worn the skirt quite a bit since I made it.

The keen-eyed amongst you will notice the brace on my left arm. I fell in October and it kept hurting enough to wake me up at night, so I finally got it looked at and I have traumatic tennis elbow. There's a longer medical term for it, but that's the short version. I have to wear the brace as much as possible for the next six weeks and had a cortisone shot, both of which have helped a lot.

The shortest month

I realize I've been a bit AWOL over here.  January is so busy for us, and I spend most of February just trying to catch up.  Throw in some vitamin and mineral deficiencies that are hugely messing with my energy levels and it's slow days mostly.  I'm knitting, rewatching Discovery of Witches for the nth time (and re-reading the series....so.good), and generally trying to keep my head on straight.

Last week I did a special presentation on Stalin and the gulags to the 4th graders at my kids' school.  It was fun and nerve-wracking at the same time because getting the information down to their level was such a challenge.  Suffice to say I was massively over-prepared for 9 year olds, but that's okay.  I might be asked back to give a more advanced version of the talk to the 12th graders next year, and I'm looking forward to diving deep for that!

I made another plain vanilla flannel skirt last month (no pics yet), and have fabric for another heavy wool one, but lack motivation to sew right now.  So back to my needles it is!

Over and out.