Me Made May Week 2

Saturday...time for a weekly wrap up.  The weather has been bananas this week, so I was on and off with tights and boots.  Today I'm in linen and sandals, whereas last Sunday I was wearing a wool sweater and boots.  Go figure.  Go home, May, you're drunk.

I realized that I didn't really detail what I was wearing in last week's wrap, so I'll try to do better this week.  My unders are always me-made, but you'll just have to take my word for it.  😉  I'll go clockwise starting in the upper left corner, although the days are slightly out of order.  

Sunday (top left): Poet sweater, thrifted stripey shirt under, me-made jewelry from spring 2021, thrifted denim skirt.

Monday: Sage Toaster sweater, Purple Violet Squish skirt (original dress made 2019, made into a skirt 2021), etsy jewelry

Tuesday: Spruce noil Remy Raglan (2021), Woodrose French terry Elemental skirt (2021), etsy jewelry

Wednesday: I started out in sandals and changed mid-morning because I was so cold, so you get both outfits.  Upper right corner: thrifted Levi's stripey shirt, thrifted denim skirt altered to fit better in the waist, textured scarf (2019); lower right corner: Chili knit Coco shirt (2021), cuffs recently removed for 3/4 sleeves, thrifted/altered denim skirt.

Friday: a bit of a cheat, I admit, as this dress was made by my friend Kate.  She didn't care for it and so passed it to me to salvage the fabric, but I liked how it fit and swished, so have worn it a few times.  It's a little out of my current wheelhouse pattern-wise, but I feel pretty good in it.  I wear it on my "I can't even with a waistband" days.  I made the jewelry last fall.

Saturday: dawn linen drop shoulder shirt (self-drafted, 2021), much altered and embroidered English rose linen Everyday skirt (2020).  I never thought to put these two together and I love the combo.

Thursday (lower left): long sleeve cotton tshirt on clearance from Target, textured scarf (2019), black pepper Free Range Slacks skirt hack (2021).  That shirt was the best $5 I ever spent.  The fit is *mwah*.  

The thrifted denim skirt that I altered probably needs another tweak, since I'm not totally happy with the waistband fit yet, but it's okay to wear now.

I'm still not sure about the Purple Violet Squish skirt.  I mostly made it to salvage the fabric and feel less bad about the waste of it, but it is just okay.  It did look nice with the Toaster, though.

 
The Woodrose Elemental skirt had gone into a dark corner of my closet when it did not fit me at all in March, but it looks okay now with a loose Remy. It would look better with 10 more pounds off, but at least it is somewhat wearable again.

I let out my dawn linen shirt at the side seams after realizing it was just too tight across the middle to be comfortable.  I also noticed the fabric was pulling at the stitches and getting damaged. It is much more comfortable, although French seams are not my favorite thing to unpick.  At least the seams were short.  I may let out my other two drop shoulder linen shirts too, although they fit a bit differently for some reason.  It's those pesky little fixes that take almost no time that I put off forever and then wonder why I didn't do it sooner.  Contradiction, thy name is Juliana.

I've been thinking a lot about ease vs. flattering, and can't really come to a satisfying conclusion.  I like my clothes semi-fitted as a style matter, but sometimes overfit them as a comfort matter.  Or underfit.  Or something.  

My measurements have changed, although I admit I've been too much of a coward to find out how much, because the voice in my head is very mean.  After losing a few pounds over a few days last weekend and feeling like the dietary/activity changes I'd implemented months ago were finally having an effect, I gained it all back and then some.  Blerg.  But I need to take new measurements and move on, because wearing clothing that fits and feels well is more important than clinging to slopers that make me feel like a sausage casing.  I'm also in the middle of going down a big Saxon/Viking rabbit hole and their clothes were comfortable and loose.  And still looked great.   

I'm hoping to make some clothes for warmer weather in the coming weeks.  Dresses mostly, in search of that ever-elusive "one."  It will be interesting to see what comes of the experiment, as I'm planning to try a bunch of new-to-me patterns, including the much beloved Hinterland dress.  I'm realizing that I need to wear more woven linen in hot weather.  Knits, even cotton ones, get sweaty almost instantly and then just stay clammy all day, which makes me cross.  And since hot weather makes me cross anyway, I don't need my clothes adding to the fray.  Linen wicks and dries quickly, and if I can get the balance between fit and ease right, I'll be in a better place with my summer wardrobe.  At least that's the hope.

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Toaster Sweater #1 & Simple Skirts

Peggy at Sew House 7 recently ran a sale on her popular Toaster sweater pattern to celebrate a regrade and I couldn't resist getting a pdf copy.  I have had such success with her patterns this past year, and I don't knit as fast as would be ideal for wardrobe purposes.  She also restocked her lovely wool-cotton jersey and since I've been wearing my wool-cotton jersey Coco on repeat this winter, I bought another yard and a half, hoping to squeak out a Toaster sweater version.

Nothing much to report on this.  I dithered a bit on the sizing, as I didn't want it too fitted, but I didn't want it sloppy either.  My more fitted clothing doesn't fit quite right at the moment.  

I've gained a fair bit of weight around my middle in the past six weeks (much to my dismay and consternation, as I've not changed anything...I'm working to get to the bottom of it, as well as making some lifestyle changes, but still.  It is frustrating.  I'm not someone who subscribes to the idea that the only good bodies are small bodies, but I feel better in my body when I am at the weight I've been maintaining since around 2015.  So I'm hoping this is a temporary glitch and not the new normal).  I did have a bit of an argument with myself about the basic idiocy of wearing elastic waistbands all the time because they don't constrict me during the day and therefore allowed me to gain weight by not providing adequate feedback before I slapped myself upside the head and told the eating-disordered part of my brain to shut up and go home.  

Anyway, I ended up going with a 10, on the idea that my size 10 Remy was a bit roomy for a summery blouse, but the 8 was more fitted to my preference.  In the wool-cotton jersey, that has very little stretch for a knit, I worried that an 8 would be too tight.  The 10 was exactly the right call, as I love the way this one fits.  I've been wanting something with a high (but not tight) neckline lately, as I can't stand anything tight around my neck (hot flashes!) but I'm cold because of being anemic.  It's a bizarre combination.

I did end up taking off the bottom band as it made the top entirely too long to be flattering on me, and I knew shortening the body to accomodate the band would throw off the proportions.  I did a baby hem of just under 3/8" and called it good.  (Which probably gives you a fair idea of how short-waisted I really am).  Because I was working with a yardage that was just shy of the recommendation, I cut the neck piece on the cross grain and had to piece a tiny bit of the inside of the bottom band but it looks fine and gets over my head okay.  As it happens, since I took off the bottom band anyway, I probably could have made it cutting the neck on the grain, but it doesn't matter.  

The skirt is a super simple knit skirt that I cut using the M7353 as my guide.  The fabric is a thicker quilted cotton knit I found at KnitFabric.com.  I skipped the pockets and used the waistband facing from the Free Range Slacks.  The stitching at the bottom of the facing is a little more visible than I thought it would be, but I could go back and hand stitch it if need be.  I did the hem by hand for that reason.  Since I had skipped the pockets, I also sewed a little fabric loop on the inside of the front facing so I could hook my pedometer to it. 

And because I am making really simple stuff lately, I also made a Free Range skirt hack out of chambray flannel last month and never showed it, so ta-da (shown with the same Toaster sweater):

No construction notes except that I used rayon seam tape on the pocket edges instead of fabric facing to reduce bulk on that seam.  I've worn the skirt quite a bit since I made it.

The keen-eyed amongst you will notice the brace on my left arm. I fell in October and it kept hurting enough to wake me up at night, so I finally got it looked at and I have traumatic tennis elbow. There's a longer medical term for it, but that's the short version. I have to wear the brace as much as possible for the next six weeks and had a cortisone shot, both of which have helped a lot.

Rustbelt

Grief is a funny thing.  It smacks into you with the force of a high speed train, but then lingers in the wreckage, a low pulsing underneath the debris, waiting to seep out into the light.  And it does seep, from time to time, taking over your being until the dust settles over it again. 

It takes a long time to clean up after a wreck. 

Things with my dad are not great right now; he developed a MRSA infection after a procedure and is on heavy-duty antibiotics and 4 liters of oxygen in an isolation unit.  His chemo is on hold until they can get the infection under control.  

My baby goddaughter and her parents are moving to faraway Texas this month, and today is probably the last time we'll see the family for some time.  My kids are all wrecked about it since they love her like a sister and are eager baby minders.  I'm so sad to lose this family from our parish I almost can't bear it.  

My sense of taste and smell is still off, almost two years after my C-19 infection, and I'm trying to make peace with the reality that it may never come back to normal.  It makes my already complicated food life that much more difficult. 

Wreckage.  Debris.  Dust.  

I was reminded this morning, however, that we should not place our hope in outcomes.  Our hope is the Lord's presence in the journey, not the destination.   So I will straighten my bowed shoulders, try to work out the kinks in my stress-knotted neck and back muscles, and hope in the journey.  Or try to, anyway.

 

I mentioned a few posts back that I finished my Mackworth sweater right before Thanksgiving.  This was my second attempt at colorwork, and I thoroughly enjoyed the yoke. My floats came out more even too; there is only a tiny bit of puckering in the first two charts.

I won't lie, the body was a bit tedious, and I spent many a swim lesson this summer slogging through the miles of stockinette in the round.  It is always tricky to get the body length right for my short torso--somewhere between 10-11" from the underarm is good, but even 1/2" too long or short and it looks odd. 

I'm very happy with the length and thrilled with the fit of it.  I think it blocked out at just over 10 inches.  My only complaint is that the amount of main color yarn needed was vastly overstated--I have 4.5 balls left.  Never fear, I'm sure I'll figure out something to do with them!

In my experience, that happens a lot with knitting patterns.  Kate Davies is the only designer I've found to consistently get the yardage estimation right across the sizes.   

As I wrote previously, this silky noil skirt is getting much more wear since I shortened it a bit.  I am very happy with the fit and sweep of it, and am glad to find it more or less works for chilly temps, as long as I pair it with wool tights.

Another maker that I follow wrote recently that the past two years have changed who she is so much that some of her previous makes no longer suit her, even though she finds herself in a much happier place overall.  She said there is a little bit of sadness in having to rediscover who she is with regard to her making. 

 

It's been a while since I did a complete wardrobe overhaul, but this fall has sort of put me there without my having set out to do so.  Some pieces I've been wearing for a long time just don't look or feel right on me this year.  Maybe they always looked off, but I felt good in them at the time.  Some makes or thrifted finds are coming to the end of their life span--the fabric is faded and starting to fray and crease, or it just looks tired.  

In a way, there is some relief in taking things out of my wardrobe that have been worn to pieces, don't fit, or make me feel nuts.  There is some satisfaction in wearing soft waistbands most days and feeling okay about it as a style choice.  It is lovely to finally have a knit top pattern that fits exactly the way I want it to, and I don't have to tuck it in for it to look nice.  I've discovered that my hot flashes are easier to manage if my tops are untucked and a bit less fitted, paired with easily removable layers. 

 

My body has changed (and continues to change as I am getting older), and how I move through the world has changed.  Mostly for the better, but there is still some dislocation in having to redefine the boundaries of the self.  Perhaps there always will be.  And perhaps it is silly to figure those things out through clothes, but that's where I live right now.  So be it. 

Cultural Visual Ideals

Over the years, I've nattered on quite a lot about body image in this space, and I think it is worth revisiting every now and again.  Three years ago, My Body Model launched their app, which is produces custom croquis (pronounced kroh-key) according to the measurements inputted into the algorithym.  There are some tweaks you can make for individual body quirks like bust height and the bulge below the hips at the top of the thighs and some other proportional things. 

The advantage of a croquis that looks like me is that I can draw out garments before making them to see what they look like on my body.  My proportions are far from industry standard--industry standard being a woman 9 heads high and slim enough to not need things like internal organs.  Just what we consider the cultural visual ideal here in late post-modern capitalism.  The average woman is 7 heads high and there is no "standard" for the other measurements.  But I digress.  As usual.

 

Earlier this summer, I started sketching garments I already owned or had made in previous seasons, as an idle exercise.  It turned out to be quite useful as it helped me see what I already had, what I was actually wearing/wanted to wear, etc.  I even used it as a packing tool to put together a cohesive suitcase.

Suitcase options...

At some point, Birdie noticed these sketches, and I gave her a page to draw on once when we were waiting somewhere.  She has been drawing and coloring since then, happily making up garments and coloring them as it suits her.  Ponchik has gotten in on the action as well, and, surprisingly, so has Boo.  Boo is designing superhero uniforms (natch).

By Birdie

 

By Ponchik

After a few days of much concentrated coloring and designing (it was a great way for the girls to pass time on the long plane ride to California), I realized the value of giving them croquis of me.  Or more precisely, of my body shape, which is definitely not shaped like Black Widow or a fashion model.  It normalizes my shape for them, I think.  I thought about making croquis of them, so they would be designing on their own bodies, but the app is a little pricey for such an endeavor, so I think I'll stick with the files I already have.

By Boo

I suppose it is just a drop of sand in the ocean of cultural imaging, but put enough sand together and you just might have an island. 

February: The Lost Month

I say this almost every year about this time, but January and most of February always feel like lost time to me.  We have a bunch of church feasts, a few secular holidays, plus a bunch of family observances and celebrations between Jan 1-Feb 15, and I never seem to catch up until Lent starts.  And then it is, you know, Lent.  But my knitting has kept me sane this year, and I have some projects to share!

~knitting~

I already blogged my Delft Doocot, but I've been wearing it regularly since it finished blocking.  I love the fit and feel of it, and am jazzed to have finally made a lighter weight sweater that I really love.  My Carbeth from last year is still great, but in my current hot-flashy state, and the milder winter we're having means I can't wear it very much this year.

I didn't blog Ponchik's Puddle Duck either--that was a quick knit in December using some random yarn from my bin--I'm making a big effort to stash-bust the random skeins I bought and forgot what they were for.  I had two skeins of Taria Tweed bulky in a orangey-pink color, and I have absolutely no idea why I bought them.  It is not a color I typically wear myself, and the amount was too small for anything for the girls.  So I combined it with some leftover bulky Garnet Heather Swish from my L'Enveloppe and made Ponchik a pullover sweater with it. The silk wool blend is so soft, and the garnet stripes are enough visual interest for my print-loving girl.  She loves it, I love it, and I'm glad to have that yarn out of my bin!!

My scrappy shawl!  I've had this idea to make a shawl out of some random leftover skeins of yarn for a while, and I started it on a bus ride to NYC in late December.

I got pretty far on it (I was getting close to the border and final bind off when I realized I Did Not Like how the striping and color and pattern were coming out.

I was using the Boneyard pattern, so every 12 rows there is a knit row on the purl side, which looks great on a solid color, but when the skeins would run out in the middle of a pattern repeat, it looked strange.

I thought the stripes needed more variation, and the colors didn't quite work all together.  So I frogged the whole thing a week ago and started fresh.  (Sorry, I don't have pictures of the original).  I decided to pull out ALL my scraps and start from there, which meant I could make a bunch of narrow rows at the first since some of my scraps were small indeed, but I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

It is a reflection of many things I've made over the past years (some successful, some not), uses up yarn that is not very useful otherwise but I can't bear to just throw away, and produced a useful finished garment for one of my girls to enjoy.  Win-win.

Next up is a belated birthday gift for my mother.  Her birthday is in early January, but I knew in December already I wasn't going to be able to finish her gift in time.  (I had kids sick at home for almost three weeks in December, as I mentioned, and it just threw my schedule off.  Things Did Not Get Done).  But my mom is a big girl, and willing to wait!  My parents are coming for a week-long visit tomorrow, so I set myself a firm deadline and tried not to look at any other yarn until her scarf was finished.  

The pattern is Embrace, from Quince and Co. and the yarn is Chickadee in a limited edition color from a few years ago called Carnation.  I bought four skeins at the time, intending to make a toddler sweater for one of the girls, but never got to it, and now four skeins probably isn't enough for them.  I think it will work well with my mom's coloring and preferred clothing palette, so I hope it will be a nice accent piece for her.  It was a fun knit and I learned a new stitch on the border!

I cast on my next Doocot with the Quince and Co. Chickadee in Sorbet I bought with a gift card from two Christmases ago.  (I keep looking at the color name and thinking "zher-bet" or "soar-beT", like "sher-Bet" instead of "soar-bey."  Anyone else?  Just me?  Alrighty then).  I've been wearing my blue Doocot almost every chance I get, so I think another will get a lot of good wearing.  The weather is so weird this year that heavy sweaters are not the best choice.  My teal Carbeth has had only a couple of outings this year.

~reading~

Quite a lot actually.  I finished Come As You Are, and I wish every woman would read it!  It was so helpful and empowering for me.  It's worth the price of admission for the first chapter alone, which is just basic anatomy, and the range of how women's bits present.  In short: you are normal.  I am normal.  We are all normal.  If it doesn't hurt, it's normal.  But the rest of the book is amazing too.  I might write some more about it in a dedicated post.

I started her most recent book, Burnout, at the beginning of the month, and while I like it, and am getting a lot out of it, I don't recommend it quite as whole-heartedly because the tone is different, and there are some sections I skimmed as a result.  But the chapter on the Bikini Industrial Complex is worth the cost of the book, as is the chapter on sleep and active rest (you need more than you think, and it isn't just about sleep!)  It has made me think about my whole body in a different way, but that knowledge is built on the foundation of Come As You Are, so if you only have time to read one, read that one instead.

During December I got obsessed with the Sky series A Discovery of Witches (watched it twice!) and then immediately started reading the triology.  I swallowed the first book almost whole, but am taking my time with the second one.  I'm very eager to see the second season, which only recently finished filming.  I started following Teresa Palmer on IG, and am enjoying her account very much. I also follow Deb Harkness, who wrote the books, because I'm a geeky historian and lover of medieval things, and love the stuff she posts about her research as a university historian.

I love the relationship between Matthew and Diana in the book, and how the story arc and character curves don't go the way you might expect.  (Some people have said that the All Souls Triology is like Twilight for grown-ups meets Outlander, and I don't think they are wrong.  Outlander is better written and the cast of characters much larger, but I think the authors are exploring similar themes.

My stack also includes books I received for Christmas, but haven't started yet.  I only have so much time to read!  But I'll get through them sooner or later.  Circe is there because I'm trying to develop a female character who is different from a lot of female tropes, and a friend said that the main character is written differently.

~sewing~

Almost nothing.  Just a bit of mending (see Ponchik's leggings above).  I also took out a pair of my husband's suit pants and learned a fascinating amount about how men's suit pants are constructed.  I wish women's skirts were given so much thought and structure.  Sewing for me, nada.  It's okay, really; I'm having a great time thrifting.

~watching~

I watched some forgettable stuff that had been on my watchlist for a while, but A Discovery of Witches was the high point (since I watched it twice in a row!)  I've tried a few shows in the past couple of weeks that are trying too hard to be Game of Thrones and just...no.  I don't want to watch that.  My writing partner and I were discussing this phenomenon recently, and she was pretty frustrated with the offerings as well.  Her comment: "My bar isn't really that high--can we just have a show without people's heads being cut off?  I'm not asking much."  Me: "I know, right?"

Season 2 of Jack Ryan was...okay.  I thought the first season was brilliant, and a great reboot of the characters, but season 2 seemed like it was trying to tick too many boxes.  I know that happens sometimes in the second season, so I'll be eager to see if they straighten the course for the 3rd season.

There was an interesting indie film called The Delinquent Season that I found very thought-provoking, but it will not be a film for everyone.  The acting was raw and courageous, the storyline had a lot of tough stuff in it. 

Marriage Story was excellently acted, well-written and directed, and deserves the award nominations it is getting, but it was also a pretty tough watch.  Delinquent Season explored similar themes, but in a more interesting way, I thought.  Marriage Story was just pure pain.

I decided that the boys were old enough to start watching some of the Marvel films (not all of them) and we started with Thor, and then moved on to Avengers and Captain America.  We're through The Dark World now (skipping the Iron Man movies for now, because I think they have a bit too much language and violence for them, relative to the other Marvel offerings).  It's been fun to share those films with them.  I think all the kids are ready for The Princess Bride and am eager to show it to them.  I read the book aloud to them last spring and they all enjoyed hearing the story.

I binged The Stranger at the beginning of February, with Richard Armitage, and highly recommend it.  I follow him on IG, and have been waiting for this show to hit Netflix for a while. A friend also recommended The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which I have not really been interested in watching until now, but I tried it, and I do like it a lot.  It's not a show I want to watch quickly, but I like having it in my back pocket for when nothing else seems to be interesting. I also watched Agatha Christie and the Truth of Murder on Netflix during a sick day recently and enjoyed it very much as well.

Linking with Ginny for Yarn Along!