Getting Out and About with Littles

Photo disclaimer: The reason there are so many photos of the boys from our trip to Ireland this past August is that I have very few photos of the boys in any of our strollers or carriers in the city! You know how it is--you photograph the big events, not the mundane aspects of life. :) I also snagged a few stock photos of various strollers. I claim no rights to the photography of those strollers.
I think one thing that parents of young children find daunting about city living is the sheer enormity of getting out the door. I’m sure this is probably true of parents of young children everywhere, but those of us with an urban reality have another layer of complication to getting out the door. To wit: the stroller. I think suburbanites buy strollers primarily for strolling at the mall, storing in the back of their cars/vans/SUVs, and perhaps getting around airports and the like. I’m sure some rural dwellers use them on country roads and such, and I tip my hat to those of you on unpaved roads with little ones in tow.

I didn't realize this before I had children, but I have since come to the conclusion that there are basically two types of mamas--those who carry and those who stroller. I always assumed I'd be a stroller mom--my mother was, and it hardly occurred to me to use a carrier. I knew about Baby Bjorns (who doesn't?), but little else about the vast world of baby wearing. I don't know exactly how I stumbled across ERGObaby carriers, but I know that I bought one when my older son was teeny tiny and I loved it. I quickly realized that being bus- and subway-dependent precluded being a real stroller mom. We did buy a snap-n-go style stroller that we used infrequently, and somehow ended up with a total of three strollers by the time H was a year old, all for different purposes, but we used the ERGO daily. I can wear the ERGO for hours and not notice the weight of the baby at all.

Piglet in the ERGO at Rockefeller Center, October 2008 (10 months old)

So I became a baby wearing mama for purely practical reasons. As it happened, my older son really liked being worn, and it seemed to fill his need for being held--he wasn't a particularly cuddly baby. I only stopped using the ERGO when I got pregnant with Boo and couldn't tolerate the hip strap around my middle any more. Once Boo was born, I used a long wrap-style carrier for the first week, since it is good when they are that size, but quickly graduated to the ERGO for carrying. Things seemed okay in the carrier department for a while, but it became clear to me at about 3 months that Boo hated the ERGO. He wanted to be able to see out, and, being a generally cuddly baby, didn’t have an extra need to be up close and personal with my chest. It seemed to be too stimulating for his ever-ready-to-nurse appetite. I discovered, quite by accident, that when he faced outward, he was content for hours! Unfortunately, the ERGO is a facing-inward only carrier and at the time, Boo wasn't yet big enough to wear on my back. So I ventured into the world of Bjorns and front-facers with trepidation, having heard all the nightmarish stories about aching backs, twisted necks and the like. We borrowed a Baby Bjorn active carrier (with lumbar support) from someone in our neighborhood, and while Boo loved it, we did not. In fact, I can say pretty unequivocally after three weeks of regular Bjorn use during the latter half of last August, I'm going to need a good chiropractor. Or neck surgery. Or both.

I started inquiring about different forward-facing carrier options on the various mommy listservs that I'm on. The Beco Gemini caught my eye, but the price was a little daunting, and I inquired about finding a used one amongst the mommies. Two people highly recommended the Belle Baby carrier, which I'd never heard of, but looked promising on their website. One mama offered me a loaner of her Belle for the weekend to try it out. Another friend offered her Mei Favorite Baby Carrier from Babies Beyond Borders (full buckle style) to try out and if I liked it, to buy it used from her. Being desperate for some relief, I agreed to try both. I immediately liked the Belle Baby--it wasn't as ergonomically great as the ERGO, but it was significantly better than the Bjorn, and the website had two models on sale, so that was a bonus. The Mei Favorite carrier at first blush seemed like a dream come true--all the features of an ERGO with the forward-facing option. I quickly realized, however, that the forward-facing option works only with older babies, and the way the straps crossed in my back made me hurt all over. So that one wouldn't work. So that left the Gemini and the Belle. Since no one appeared to have a Gemini for sale or loan, and the price difference between it and the Belle was substantial, I decided to take the plunge and order the Belle. Boo loved it. We used the Belle with him until he was too big to comfortably wear front facing and then switched back to the ERGO around 6 or 7 months, when he seemed better able to tolerate the inward facing carry.

But back to strollers. When Piglet was close to a year old, we bought a Phil and Ted’s classic with a doubles attachment, anticipating our need for it in the future. I had come to the conclusion that Philly’s sidewalks completely precluded any stroller that didn’t include pneumatic tires. There were so many things I disliked about this stroller, I can’t even begin to list them, but the most salient point is that I couldn’t get it on and off the bus. Ever. For a start, it weighs 30 pounds before you ever get the doubler on it, and you can’t fold it with the doubles attachment on it. So lots of moving parts.

It doesn’t have a one-handed fold, which is another key factor when dealing with a small child (or baby who isn’t mobile) at a bus stop. And since it wasn’t feasible for me to build in 3 extra walking hours into my day to get where I needed to go on foot instead of by bus, I rarely used the Phil & Ted’s. My husband used it to take my toddler jogging with him, but that was about it. About a year after we bought the Phil and Ted’s, we bought a second hand Maclaren Volo that weighs 9 pounds and features a handy shoulder strap. It was a stroller sent from the Lord, I’m convinced! It was lightweight, folded and unfolded easily, was perfect for bus travel and the underbasket was roomy enough to allow modest grocery shopping runs. We used it for day trips to NYC, where it was easy to get on and off the subway, in airports, around town, everywhere. It became our go-to stroller once I could no longer use the ERGO comfortably with the pregnancy. The Phil & Ted’s languished at the top of our basement stairwell for the most part and we sold the other two strollers that we’d accumulated, bringing our grand total to two.

We received a major boon in the spring of 2010, shortly before Boo’s birth, when a mommy acquaintance asked me if I would be willing to trade my Phil & Ted’s with the doubler for her Baby Jogger City Classic with the Joey Jump seat. She was due to have her second baby a few months after me, and her older son already exceeded the weight limit on the jump seat for the Baby Jogger. As Piglet has always been on the small side, I thought we should give it a try. The Baby Jogger was love at first sight. All the things I hated about the Phil & Ted’s had been fixed with the Jogger. The stroller was easy to maneuver, had an adjustable handle, a great canopy, a fully reclining seat that was easy to put up and down, a fully washable cover and a plastic foot plate. It had a true one-handed fold that was the easiest thing I’ve seen then and since, and an easy foot brake. The jump seat wasn’t as adaptable as the Phil & Ted’s and only had one position (on the front), but I didn’t care; all the other features cancelled that one out.

The Baby Jogger City Classic with jump seat and both boys, February 2011

I primarily used the stroller for my weekly walk with another mom friend who also has two boys about the same age as my own and for the odd grocery run to Whole Foods. For a while, I put Boo in the Belle or, as he got older, the ERGO, and took the Jogger for Piglet for our weekly walking date, but as Boo got near 20 pounds, and I became pregnant again, I quickly found myself uncomfortable wearing Boo. We had a few walking dates where I sausaged both boys into the Volo, but it became clear that they were getting too big to do that much longer.

Piglet and Boo in the Volo together, Dublin, Ireland, August 2010, ages 2 ½ and 3 months

So I girded my loins and began transporting the Baby Jogger with the jump seat onto the bus with both boys. At first I thought there were too many moving parts, as with the Phil & Ted’s, but I discovered a way to fold the Jogger with the jump seat on it, and that made things much better. While it was heavy to get on and off the bus (32 pounds!) the easy fold made it possible to do so.

The problem came in mid-February as I discovered Piglet was getting too big to sit comfortably behind the jump seat and was consequently miserable most of the time I had to have the stroller out. I had been in the habit of letting him walk alongside the stroller when we were running errands around town, but around the same time, he hit a defiant phase and I started to be concerned for his safety while we were out and about. We tried a variant on a boogie board, but that was a disaster.

After discussing at length with my husband why we needed to purchase yet another stroller, we began to research double strollers in earnest. My criteria were that the stroller had to have a one-handed fold, weigh less than 25 pounds, and fit both boys comfortably. I had to be able to carry it on and off the bus with a baby in one arm, so it couldn’t have any moving parts. Everything else was optional. My husband just wanted the price to be reasonable. It is surprisingly difficult to find double strollers that meet this criteria. Very few are under 30 pounds, and almost none have a true one-handed fold, as I discovered after trying a Baby Trend Sit-N-Stand that claimed a one-handed fold, but the company’s own video demo showed the model using both hands!

Baby Trend Sit-n-Stand

The finalists were the Baby Jogger City Micro Double, which was on clearance for half the price, and the Maclaren Twin Triumph, which was basically our Volo times two. The Triumph was also on clearance for the same price as the Micro, so price wasn’t going to be a deciding factor. I agonized over the decision, because I loved the Baby Jogger features, but there were several things about the double that made it unattractive for us in our space. First thing is that the double version doesn’t have a one-handed fold. It is an easy fold, but still requires two hands. Second is that it is 30” wide, even when folded, and we don’t have the space to store it in the house, even folded, at that width. We’d have to store it outdoors, under a cover, chained to one of the window grates like my husband’s bike. Not a terrible prospect, but not ideal either. Third, I couldn’t see us ever using it on an airplane trip, and since we fly a lot as a family, this was an important factor. Finally, the folded width made it slightly unwieldy and I couldn’t see myself being able to manage it plus a wiggly baby and a toddler on the bus. (And I was thinking ahead to having a newborn in a carrier, plus a wiggly older baby and a toddler to manage) It did have a nice weight of 21 pounds, all the great features I love about Baby Jogger’s strollers, but the negatives didn’t outweigh those factors.

Baby Jogger City Micro Double

The Maclaren Twin Triumph was our ultimate choice. It has an umbrella fold, which allows us to store it at the top of our basement stairs easily, weighs just over 20 pounds without the canopies (and I’m inclined to think canopies are overrated anyway), has a side handle for suitcase-style carrying, both seats have full reclines, and the under basket storage is decent. We could easily take it on a flight with us and I could manage security with it by myself, another important factor. Both my boys fit well in it, and they really enjoy sitting next to each other. My toddler now asks to take the big stroller out and is happy to sit in it while we are out and about, which makes things much easier. I can get on and off the bus with both kids and the stroller without too much fuss (I can’t really carry the Triumph and M in arms all the way to the bus stop anyway). So I have to allow a bit more time to get to the bus stop, even though it is only half a block away, but that is okay, because we can actually get on the bus! The Triumph is narrow enough to fit through standard doorways, and I’ve even had some luck with doorways that are slightly narrower than standard. I added the self-leveling cup holder I bought for the Jogger to the Triumph and now I’m good to go!

Maclaren Twin Triumph

(I don’t have a picture of the boys in ours yet; I’ve left off the canopies on ours, except when it rains because the rain cover only works with the canopies; so far I haven’t had to take the stroller on the bus in the rain)

Basically, my method to get out the door is as follows. I get Piglet all ready to go first—I have him go potty, check his pull up, help him get his shoes on, or have him do it himself if it is a rain boot or croc day, help him get his coat on, and then make him sit on the bottom step of the living room staircase to wait for me. There is a gate between the staircase and the living room, so he can’t wander off and pull out toys, which is helpful to easily distracted little boys. Then I get Boo ready—check diaper, get bottle ready (if necessary), get coat or bunting on, and put him on the floor in front of the staircase by Piglet while I get my own shoes and coat on. Sometimes I put the boys in the stroller inside the house, but more often, I open up the stroller on the sidewalk in front of the house, put Piglet in first, then come back for Boo and strap him in, grab my bag and off we go. It is obviously much easier and faster when the weather is warm and we don't have to bother with coats, hats, mittens and boots.

The key to getting out and about with littles is to carry as little as possible and in a bag that is easy to either sling on your back or over your shoulder. I have learned that, for the most part, I only need carry a bottle for Boo, a diaper for him and a pull up for Piglet, a travel pack of wet wipes, my wallet and Epi-Pen kit, and sometimes, a sippy cup and bib for Piglet. If I know we will be out over a meal time, I take a jar of food and baby spoon for Boo. It all fits quite nicely in a small open-topped black canvas book bag I’ve been using for years. I can wear it on my shoulder or across my chest, messenger-style. I have a backpack style diaper bag that I use for longer outings when I need to pack more diapers, or carry a changing pad, or need everything zipped up tight, but my diaper bag doesn’t really contain much more than my Penguin bag. I figure if we need anything while we are out, we’ll just pick it up at a corner store or a CVS somewhere. Another of the hidden costs of living in the city, I suppose. It is probably not the most financially efficient and I know that, but I'd rather have a stroller that I can fold up fast without having to unload the bottom first. I have lots of friends who travel with everything but the kitchen sink stowed under their strollers, but they end up not being able to use the bus or subway much in consequence.

So far, the Triumph is working out well for us. We continue to use the Volo when it is better to have Piglet walk, or when we are using the “divide and conquer” method of parenting. I could see using the Volo when the new baby arrives to put Boo into, with the baby in the ERGO and Piglet walking alongside, but I think we will probably end up using the Triumph just as much if not more since there are so many more permutations available (two older children in the stroller, baby in ERGO; two younger children in stroller, toddler walking; middle child in ERGO on my back, toddler and baby in stroller, etc.) The recline option, while it adds a pound or two to the overall weight, is worthwhile for the versatility it offers.

I’m sure after all this, you must be tired! Basically, getting around the city with littles is all a matter of mindset. Either you decide you are going to get out and about and make it happen, or you sit at home most of the time and every outing is a major event. Or you drive a lot. My boys love being outside and love the hustle and bustle of the city sidewalks, and are much happier if we are out and about every day or every other day. They get a bit stir-crazy otherwise. So do I, for that matter! There is something about city living that begs one to be on the street, experiencing the life outside. Of course, there are plenty of days when I’d rather stay home and hibernate, or just not deal with the hassle of getting two very small children out the door, but it gets easier with practice and time. I also find that as my older son is getting older, he is able to do more by himself to get out the door, which helps considerably. I know I’m going to blink and all my children will be able to dress and shoe themselves and get out the door without any help from me! And then we’ll have to figure out a storage system for bikes instead of strollers….

Tall Dark Handsome and British...

This post is completely frivolous, so if you come here for serious stuff, better skip this one. If you're all in, read on!

I'm happy to report that I'm starting to feel better for the first time in almost a week. I guess that 12 hours of sleep last night did some good. I'm still a bit wobbly and woozy (I took a short walk this morning that did me in!) but I can feel my energy returning, and I'm grateful. I even got some work done this afternoon (including the sympathy card I mentioned in the earlier post from today) instead of swooning over Richard Armitage in Sparkhouse all afternoon in a sickness-induced stupor. (ha!)

I became acquainted with his work in the BBC series Robin Hood, and loved him in it, and have spent some time scrounging up all the other things he has been in, which is difficult given many have British-only releases! I was so glad when he was cast in series seven of Spooks, which I love. I admit it, I'm a sucker for British television series. And tall dark handsome British blokes. :) Oh, and if you are tempted to try out Spooks (also known as MI:5), start with series one, which stars Matthew MacFadyen of Pride and Prejudice fame. The later series have Rupert Penry-Jones (also lovely) and a wonderful cast of supporting actors and actresses. You can stream it on Netflix.

So, on to the card stuff. I haven't participated in a blog challenge in ages, and when I noticed Mary Jo's challenge this week was to use Nature's Walk, and realized I had several cards in the hopper that used that fabulous set, I had to post them right away! I also realized while in the process of trying to find and edit said cards, I didn't photograph a few of the cards I've made with this set. In my own defense, one of them was a swap that I was literally finishing as I ran out the door and I didn't have any left when I got home! I'll try to recreate it as a full card sometime soon and share it with you.


The first card is CASEd from a splitcoast stamper, and I can't find the original card on splitcoast to provide a link, so if this looks like your card, please leave a comment with a link to your card so I can give proper credit! I've been through the Nature Walk gallery twice looking for it and just can't find it now! I made it as one of my swaps for Spring Fling. Sadly, it didn't win any of the swap contest awards. (sniff, sniff) I really like this card, though. I did have to simplify the ribbon treatment, however, since I had to make 12 of these! The sponging and coloring was quite enough, thank you. :)



The second card is adapted from a swap I received from Sue Astheimer, another Philly Inker, a few months ago. The original idea came from a Stampin' Success article last fall. First, ink up your clear block with Crumb Cake or something light, and stamp it directly on your cardstock to create a background, then stamp over it with another stamp. I rather like the effect! I think Sue's card used masking and sponging instead of the clear block stamping, but I thought that would make for a nice adaptation of her design. I made 10 of these for a silent auction that I was asked to donate to.

In Sympathy

One of our friends from Iowa just lost her dad to cancer. I have followed my friend's journey on her blog, and ached for her as she watched her father die by inches. At the end, it was peaceful and fast, and he is now at rest, but my friend and her family are now grieving the huge void in their lives. It is times like these that I dislike being so far away from friends and family, for I wish we could be there to support them.


This sympathy card was part of a pack of cards I gave to my husband's grandmother as a Christmas gift. I used a design from Jen Sannes--I loved the oval and the basic layout with the pops of Marina Mist against the green. While this is not the card I am going to send my friend, it is on my to-do list for this week to make her a nice sympathy card. I'm a bit under the weather with some kind of respiratory bug, but I need to do this for my friend. Please keep the Johnson family in your prayers.

Supplies:
Old Olive cs/dp, Whisper white cs
Thoughts and Prayers stamp set
Old Olive, Marina Mist markers
Marina mist taffeta ribbon
pearls
ovals die

One down...

Today, my husband argued his first case before the Supreme Court, Turner v. Rogers. He asked me to be there, so my mother-in-law and I took a very early train to Washington DC this morning and went to the Supreme Court to sit in on the session. After hearing so much about the case after all these months, it was fun to watch both sides argue their case, and to see the whole process up close. (Plus, since my husband clerked for Justice Kennedy many years ago, I knew a bit of behind-the-scenes stuff about the Court and some of the Justices). I will say, in my totally unbiased opinion, that my husband did better than lawyer for the Turner side. But that is just me. Now they have to wait a few months to see what the Justices actually decide as a verdict in the case. And my husband can focus his attention on the next case he is due to argue in less than a month. Suffice to say that it has been a busy few months in our household, with my husband working 70 hours a week since the beginning of January. But the end is in sight! I was very proud of him today. I wanted to point and say to the room, "That one, he's mine!" Ha!

The Justices (I couldn't find a current photo that included newly-appointed Justice Kagan)

Our return train was VERY late (we were stopping every 15 minutes or so for some sort of engine trouble) and limped back into the city two hours late, which wasn't ideal, but at least we made it home! I deemed it a good night for (Middle Eastern) take out to celebrate the day, and my husband and I went out to a local coffee shop after dinner for a nice celebratory (vegan) dessert.


Today's card is another one I made for my display board on Saturday using another of Michelle Zindorf's tutorials. (She's the real talent in the room, I just pretend...) She made her original card with non-SU! stamps and a few retired colors, so I modified the card to use the palm tree from Plant Hope and current blues. I like the line of palm trees in the different blues--I think it quite striking. I wish I had a little bird stamp like her original card used; it would have made a nice accent in the foreground. So many stamps, so little money! le sigh. :) I also substituted rhinestones for the brads because quite frankly, I'm slightly lazy when it comes to putting in brads. So now you know one of my dirty stamping secrets!

Supplies:

Baja Breeze, Marina Mist, Not Quite Navy, Basic Black inks
Plant Hope stamp set
sponges
Whisper White, Marina Mist, Not Quite Navy cardstock
white gel pen, basic black marker
rhinestones

Demonstrating for Renoir

Today was our big Philly Inker Spring Fling--what a blast! We spent the day socializing, eating, hearing a great two-part presentation from Stampin' Up! employee and demonstrator, Maxine Conrad, and, of course, stamping! I demonstrated some brayer and direct to paper projects at the beginning of the day, which was a lot of fun. But, as I said to several people throughout the day, since Michelle Zindorf was actually there, it was a little like demonstrating Impressionism with Renoir looking over your shoulder. Ha!


I had a lot of favorites from the day, and I'll show you more of what I did for my demonstration in the coming days/weeks, depending on how often I'm able to get a post together, but will leave you with one of the cards I made for the display board. I used Michelle's excellent tutorial, but changed it from a direct to paper card to a sponged card, which I think is just as striking. This card is also a good "think outside the box" kind of card, because the cowboy stamp is actually a line-image that is meant to be watercolored. Michelle had the idea to turn him into a silhouette stamp and I think it worked great! I am going to have lots of fun with this little guy now. :)

Supplies:

Ink: Not Quite Navy, Marina Mist, Rich Razzleberry, Early Espresso, Melon Mambo, Daffodil Delight, More Mustard, Pumpkin Pie, Basic Black ink and marker
Stamps: Out West
Paper: More Mustard (grunged up with Early Espresso); Basic Black, Whisper White
Accessories: small star punch (retired); hemp twine (recycled from some packaging), antique brass brads, dimensionals, paper piercer, sponges

So it Begins...

Today is Forgiveness Sunday, the last day before the start of Great Lent. This is the last day to eat dairy until Pascha (Easter) on April 24, the day to put one's house in order before the trials of the Fast. We participate in a service called Forgiveness Vespers, where we ask one another's forgiveness not only for past wrongs, to start the work of the soul with a fresh start. In our family, we ask forgiveness of one another every evening as part of our evening prayers.




I always find it is a day to take a breath and wait with anticipation for the weeks ahead. Lent is a struggle, to be sure, but it is one I anticipate and look forward to every year. There is something about the excesses of the winter holiday season that makes one long for the privations and soul- searching of Lent. It is a quiet time of year for us, with many extra services, penitential melodies and texts, prostrations, and the realization that one must cling to the grace of God to get through this life. It is a time to work out one's salvation with fear and trembling always keeping the coming joy of the Resurrection in the background.



I wish you all a blessed Lent and beg your forgiveness for all wherein I have offended in thought, word, deed, and in all my feelings.

(Today's card is CASEd from my fellow Philly Inker, Kristin Kortonick, who in turn modified a card from Ilina Crouse. I loved it so much I had to make it right away. Thanks for all the inspiration, ladies!)

Supplies:
Baja Breeze, Very Vanilla, Crumb Cake, Springtime Vintage dp
Easter Blossoms stamp set
Vanilla rosettes (colored with a marker)
Pretty in Pink, Marina Mist, Early Espresso markers, Crumb Cake, Pear Pizazz ink pads
Pear Pizazz seam binding ribbon
sticky strip
glue dot
large and scallop oval punches
dimensionals

On Poverty of Spirit, Or, Why We Live in the City

All prayers assume the great poverty and misery of our fallen nature; they also assume that the Lord is the ever flowing source of every perfection, every blessing; that He is our inexhaustible treasury. Truly, we must have poverty of spirit during prayer and at all times. "Blessed are the poor in spirit" (Matt. 5:3).

St. John of Kronstadt, My Life in Christ

I’ve been asked several times recently why we choose to live in the city rather than in the suburbs or some rural retreat somewhere. Both options are easily accessible from Philly, and we considered both briefly when we were deciding where we should live. In the end, however, we decided it would be better for us to live in the city for a few reasons.

The first is that my husband and I are both city people. My husband is a native New Yorker, and craves the busyness and movement that city life provides. I’m originally from Chicago, and prefer the hustle and bustle of city life as well. I’ve lived in several large cities over the years and enjoy all the things that living in the city offers. I’ve also been married to my husband long enough that he has turned me into a New Yorker in exile, even though I’ve never lived there myself. We like the fact that we can walk out the door and go to a concert, or out to dinner by simply hopping on the bus or in a cab. We like our integrated neighborhood with its corner stores, little restaurants and coffee shops, the small hardware store and various pharmacies, local boutiques and so forth. We like the fact that we know all of our neighbors (our block has a block party every summer, as do many of the blocks in our neighborhood). While there are things that are logistically difficult about living in the city with children, there are equally as many things that are wonderful.

The second reason is that we should not expect a life of ease. A life of ease not only makes us spiritually complacent, but it can starve us of spiritual blessings and removes the impetus to work on our salvation with fear and trembling. I don’t believe that it is necessary to seek out hardship, for life has plenty of hardships without consciously seeking them, but I don’t think that one should always seek the easy road. I say that as someone who started out with lots of high ideals about what parenthood should look like, and have gradually slid toward the middle or sometimes the easiest thing to do, but I also know that we have plenty of other areas where life is trying to make up for it. So when I’m tempted to grumble about the various things about city life in Philadelphia that drive me nuts (unions, anyone?), I try to remind myself that these trials are meant for my own spiritual benefit and that they should push me toward a deeper life of prayer rather than a spirit of anger and complaining. I’m still working on that one.

I recently rewatched one of my favorite movies of all time, Zélary. It is a Czech film that tells the story of a woman living in Prague who falls afoul of the Gestapo during World War II. She works as a courier for the Resistance, but is also training to be a doctor, and suddenly finds herself needing a hiding place. The Czech Resistance decides that the best place to hide her is in a remote village on the eastern border, where life is very traditional and rural. She marries one of the local men there and the rest of the movie is about how she makes her life there, a modern woman at odds with traditional life, and how she reconciles the two. There are many other themes of the movie, but this is the predominate one in my mind. I always come away from that movie feeling that the life depicted in that village is somehow my ideal of life. The village is bound by custom and tradition; there is no electricity, no running water, and housing is rough cabins, but there is a solidarity of spirit and community that appeals so much to me. There is something that seems spiritually healthy to me about the physical privations of pre-modern living. I have lived this way for brief periods and I enjoyed it very much; there is less time to spend on the cultivation of self as so much time is devoted simply to living. The key to that sort of life, however, is that everyone around you must live that way. The community quickly breaks down in the presence of modernity. (I should probably add at this point that my husband and I have flirted with a wide range of extreme ideas, including living off the grid, but have ultimately come back to the middle on many of them).

I know this probably sounds at complete odds with our love of city life. It is and it isn’t. There is part of me that longs for the rural simplicity of their lives, but I also realize that much of what is appealing to me is the sense of community and shared tradition. Were we to move out to the country to farm a plot of land, we would instantly find ourselves completely isolated from everyone we love. In this context, the lure of the city is the lure of community. City communities are not the kind of communities one finds in traditional villages, but they do have a culture and tradition of a sort, and we are still carving out niches within the various diversities available to us here. There is the academic community that my husband is surrounded by (and that I was once surrounded by); my stamping and mommy friends; our wonderful church family, and the small group of Orthodox friends we have in the city that have become a part of our family. We are friendly with all the people on our block. In nice weather, many people sit out on their front steps, ready for conversation and deepening of friendships.

So while living in the city doesn’t provide the sort of distraction from self that living in a pre-modern community does, city living does provide a different sort of distraction in the difficulties that are inherent in urban living. So when I’m overburdened with groceries on my walk home, or struggling with a 32 pound stroller and two young children on the bus (more about the stroller drama in the next post), I try to remind myself not only of the reasons we love living in the city, but also that it is good for my salvation.