Digging out

Greetings, friends! I know my blogging has been sporadic this fall; I've decided that I'm not going to stress about it any more. Life gets in the way sometimes, and I'm finding that while I have time to create, I don't always have time to get the photos taken, edited and posted in a timely manner. So I'll post when I can. I know these years of little ones are fleeting and I'll have more time for blogging when my children are a bit older, so for now, I'll just keep on truckin'.

I'm sure most of you know that the Northeast received an incredible amount of snow last weekend; we were in Connecticut with my in-laws for the weekend, where we got 20" in about 12 hours--craziness!! (Let me tell you, 20" of snow+totally unchildproofed house+two small children, one of whom has more energy than sense=marginally controlled chaos). We did get home on Monday as planned, but our trip took a bit longer than it would normally because of the high winds and snow conditions on the highways. But we were safe and warm and we returned home to find our neighbor had kindly shoveled our sidewalk for us, and we even found a parking spot within half a block of the house that required only minimal shoveling! Yay for that!

But the snow has been melting steadily ever since. And now we are on to planning our own Christmas celebration on January 7--Russian Christmas. I put up the Christmas decorations for the first time in two years this week; it was so fun to pull out all my ornaments and put them up. I got rid of our tree this year because I can't see my three-year-old leaving a tree alone for 3 weeks, and instead, hung artificial garland from our bookcases and stairs, and hung the ornaments on that instead. It worked great! It is high enough to be out of reach, but really dresses up the living room.

I know it is December 31, but being the boring parents that we are, we have nothing planned, and will probably go to bed early! Best wishes for the New Year--I'm sure there will be a lot of exciting things in store!

I have two cards to share today. The first is one my favorite Christmas cards from this year's batch. I got this set late in the season, and made these cards sort of last minute, but I love them!The second card I mentioned a while back--these are the MDS baby thank you cards I made for a friend who had a baby boy at the beginning of December. I'm quite pleased with how they came out, and given that my hands are a chapped and cracked mess, My Digital Studio has been very helpful lately!

The inside--it is so easy to decorate the insides with MDS!

Day is Done

Forgive another foray into Deep Thoughts. As I sit here now, at the end of this terrible day, mentally and physically exhausted, I'm trying to make sense of what it all means. Motherhood, that is. I've found myself in a perpetual existential crisis ever since I became a mother, and I don't expect the crisis to resolve itself any time soon. I think it is a crisis of the post-modern world, of urban living, and of our fallen nature. Although I do think in the pre-industrial era, women's roles were more clearly defined and communities were more tightly knit, which shared the burden of mothering and housekeeping around a bit more.

I sent my toddler to bed with minimal supper because he had a complete meltdown at 5:30, shortly after my husband came home. While my husband normally does bedtime duty with the boy, I took the job tonight, hoping to restore some peace in myself and my son. He screamed and kicked and fought me all the way upstairs, but once I started the familiar routine of potty time, night time diapering, pajamas and evening prayers, he settled considerably. He sat on my lap in the dark while I sang him Advent carols and a few other liturgical hymns I know and was still. It reminded me of the many night time vigils I kept with him as a baby. The baby who is now a little boy, yet sometimes wants to be a baby still. I sat in the dark and tried to think about the Mother of God, whose conception we celebrate tonight and tomorrow. We had planned to attend the Vigil service tonight as a family, but are attending in shifts instead. All I can think about is the numerous women my mother's age who meditate fondly on the toddler years, and I wonder if I will feel that way some day. I know that these years go by so quickly, and there are definitely moments of intense joy as the role of mother, but there are many more moments filled with drudge work and frustration. And yet, I wouldn't trade my children for anything, and even long to have more. Parenthood is a strange paradox, I think.

So in this quiet moment of reflection, let me just say I hope for peace in myself, and pray for stillness of mind and heart, but I fall woefully short every minute of every day. Mothering is an exercise in humility and a constant reminder of the soul's need for God's grace on the journey of salvation. Maybe some day I can remember that in the chaos of the day instead of in the quiet after the storm.

Motherhood Zen

As any parent knows, life with children, especially multiple children, is a very up and down kind of thing and it all turns on a dime. This morning was such a morning. I woke up exhausted as usual from the baby's numerous night time wakings to find my older son was pitching a fit about the color of his pants. You wouldn't think pants color would matter to an almost three-year-old boy, but I think I've mentioned before that I have a budding fashionista on my hands. He wanted to wear blue pants. Unfortunately, because of various potty accidents, the only pants that were clean, dry and hanging in his closet were khaki cords with airplanes embroidered on them. These pants, apparently, just would not do, and so he proceeded to pitch an epic fit about the whole thing. So I awoke to screeching and crying, and came down to breakfast to find my toddler sitting at the table in only his tights, shirt and ever-present blue hooded sweatshirt. He ate his breakfast without too much incident and then asked to go play with his toys in his room. I put him in his room and locked the gate while I went up to get Boo, who had woken by this point. I should add that I was still in my pajamas, the bed was unmade, the clean laundry still in a bag on the floor of our bedroom, and we needed to leave by 9:30 to go see the holiday shows at the Comcast Center and at Macy's. It was 9:00 a.m. by the time I got everyone settled enough to get in the shower. While I was in the shower, Piglet managed to pull every toy out of his toy box, remove all the icons off the wall in the corner of his room, and move the bookcase in front of the doorway. Basically it looked like a hurricane had gone through his room. After the usual scuffle to get everyone in coats and shoes and get out the door, we waited at the bus stop and I reminded myself to just breathe. The bus was late and overcrowded, but some kind-minded souls gave us seats and a few older ladies made sure Piglet didn't go flying off the seat into the aisle. The cold air cleared my head, so by the time we arrived at the Comcast Center for the 10:00 a.m. show, I was feeling pretty positive about the world. The baby was content in the stroller, Piglet had consented to walk at a good pace from the bus stop and sat quietly on my lap for the 15 minute holiday media blitz. He was cheerful and helpful as we went downstairs to get a pretzel and then the chilly walk to Macy's 4 blocks away was uneventful. We saw the light show at Macy's and I felt peaceful and happy about living here and about parenthood. This is what it is about, I thought, watching my son's face as he took in the bright lights and the organ music. We caught a bus home and as Piglet entertained me and the rest of the bus with his stories and songs, I remembered all the things I love about my son's high intensity personality. As we neared our bus stop, he sang Ring Around the Rosie in the sweetest voice and my heart was full.

We walked in the door and things began to fall apart rather quickly. What should have been a quick trip to the potty (Piglet had stayed dry all morning, so I knew he had to go), turned into an hour-long sit, during which time Boo spit up almost constantly. Like the parent of a colicky baby (and I have had two colicky babies), it is hard for most people to relate to the trials that accompany the spitty baby. There are the ever-present pools of spit up on the floor and on his sheets, constantly wet clothing (his and mine), the need to bring a spare pair of everything where ever we go, and the faint odor of sour milk and bile that hangs about the house. My peaceful happy feeling quickly evaporated as I cleaned up spit up after spit up, made sure Piglet didn't get off the potty too soon and go all over his pants or the floor, took an ill-timed telephone call from tech support at Stampin' Up!, and watched as the time to get lunch into the boy slipped away. I made him eat two bananas while sitting on the potty and then as soon as he went, rediapered him and put him in bed, where he has been singing to himself and getting in trouble ever since. The baby slept for about 20 minutes and woke a little while ago screaming, and is having trouble settling back down despite a bottle and clean diaper, being the baby that doesn't sleep well during the day.

So now I'm sitting here, writing about this episode, and feeling morose about my role as a mother, all my peaceful happy feelings a distant memory. I'm hoping to find a little sanity before nap time is officially over and we have to start everything again. For now I'll just settle for children who will sleep in the afternoon when they are supposed to.


But I will share a bright and fun card. I made this earlier in the fall using a color combination I've grown fond of--Tempting Turquoise, Old Olive, Tangerine Tango, plus my go-to single stamp, Tiny Teacup. I think it is the perfect "Thinking of You" kind of card.

Tis the Season...

for bonks on the head. Yesterday was challenging. The boy didn't nap, and when I let him get up, he was in a mood to be naughty. So naughty, in fact, that he decided it would be a good idea to throw a wooden train from the second floor to the first floor, which happened to hit the baby on the head on the way down. Needless to say, I was Not Happy. So the baby starts screaming his head off, the boy looks at me like "what did I do?" and I'm a little freaked because it hit the baby's head and he is now sporting a Rather Large Goose Egg. I called our pediatrician to see what, if anything, I should do, and called my husband in near hysterics. He calmed me down while I was waiting for the doctor to call back, during which time the baby calmed down too. The doctor said not to worry and told us what to watch for if there was a problem, but the baby seemed fine by the time she called me back and she thought he would be fine. It's a miracle siblings live to their second birthday, is all I can say.

My husband and I were supposed to go to an Anonymous 4 concert in the evening, and I was tempted to call the whole thing off, but the boys seemed fine by 6:00, and Boo's godparents were coming to stay with them for the evening, and I knew they would be in good hands. Plus I knew that the mental break would be good for me. Unfortunately, just as we were about to leave, Piglet hit his head on the floor while roughhousing with Boo's godfather. So more tears. I got him settled down and then we left before anything else could happen! I'm very glad we went. It was a lovely concert of medieval Christmas carols, with a great venue at one of the local historic churches.

This morning my husband took the boy to the zoo and this afternoon we have to divide and conquer as we were invited to two different events at the same time. So hubby is taking the baby and I'm taking the boy. Tomorrow we are going to hear Messiah, which I love, love, love. So today's card will be a quick one! I made this baby card a while back without having a specific recipient in mind, but was glad to have it on hand this week when one of our friends had a baby boy! My hands are terribly chapped right now and I'm having trouble working my paper cutter, so instead of making baby thank you cards by hand, I made a bunch in MDS. I'll post them when the physical cards arrive, okay?

Hey diddle, diddle...

the cow jumped over the moon. Okay, a weird start, I know. Sometimes posts come to me, sometimes, not so much. It has gotten COLD here! I love it. I'm such a winter person. I lived in Moscow for a year and I really enjoy Moscow in Janaury. Give me forty below over 90 degrees any day. My husband thinks I'm weird (for more reasons than one!), especially since I'm a person that is perpetually cold, but my response is always that I love cold weather, but I don't particularly enjoy being cold. Although given a choice, I'll take being cold over being hot because you can always add more layers. You can only get so naked. :)

I spent this afternoon working on Valentines for my From Our Hearts box (due December 26!). I think I am nearly done. I made 25 to add to growing pile, so even if I don't have a full box this time, at least it is a respectable showing.


I have two cards to share today. The first is a birthday card I made for my brother-in-law back in October. I actually made two of these and will use the second one for my father-in-law's birthday at the end of the month. It's a nice masculine layout that I got from Julie Davison. I used a color combo from the Color Coach (Cajun Craze, So Saffron and Always Artichoke) and the Lovely as a Tree stamp set, which is always good for masculine cards. The second card is another MDS card that I made while playing around last night. I like how it turned out--I've been wanting to try a button card like that. I want to make a "real" card just like it when I get my Funky Four set next quarter. I sent in some projects to be professionally printed by SU!--I'm curious to see how well they turn out in person. I'll let you know, k?

MDS

Quick post today--I'm barreling through some smaller projects today using My Digital Studio! I confess, I wasn't too excited about it when it was first released; I wasn't really looking for a digital crafting software. I've seen some nifty things made with it, and in recent months had begun to ponder putting it on my list because I've had several projects that required graphic design and thought it might prove useful in the future.

I've been meaning to try this color scheme for weeks!

In the end, I couldn't resist the great Thanksgiving sale price (half off!) and bought it a few weeks ago. I finally got around to installing it over the weekend and getting all the upgrades installed. I made a couple of projects just to play around with the software and wanted to share with you today. The card is a simple card that could be hybridized with additional real embellishments  There is a lot of potential for this software and I'm looking forward to seeing what else I can come up with! I decided earlier this year that my next baby books and family photo albums are going to be all digital, so this software provides a great tool to create wonderful books for our family. I'm pretty happy I bought it.

Food, food, food

I've been writing this post in my head for several days, so I hope it comes out alright. I should start by saying that this post has nothing to do with cards and I don't have anything to share today, not because I haven't been creating but because I haven't had time to edit the photos yet. So if you are here for the card share, stay tuned for another day. Just don't make too much noise exiting the blog, so I still think someone is reading. :)

Carbs, carbs, carbs.

Anyone still there? The first thing is that I love to eat. The second thing is that I've struggled with my weight all my life. These things go hand-in-hand, I know, but when one goes on a diet for the first time at the tender age of 11 (because I had started puberty in earnest and no longer had the girlish leaness of my childhood but had developed the generous curves of adulthood), it sets up a certain expectation about one's relationship with food.

Beef stew, mmm.

I, for one, have a terrible relationship with food. I eat for comfort, I eat to live, I live to eat, I diet, I try to eat healthy, I eat junk,...it is all very evolutionary. I would give it up all together, but I do want to see my children grow old. Some of the bad comes from the perpetual feeling of deprivation that I have due to numerous and annoying food allergies, which have only grown worse as I've gotten older and borne children. The last two weeks have been especially challenging as I've had three major allergic episodes and I don't know what the new culprit is. So I'm kind of at a loss as to what to eat right now. I'm allergic to many "healthy" foods, including nuts and seeds, chicken, several vegetables and fruits, certain legumes, and other staples of a healthy diet. (My allergist told me on Monday that I'm amongst a small subset of her patients that she labels "scary"). So I'm not eating well; I'm eating safe. Which translates to a lot of refined carbs, which, like eating out while on vacation, get old after the novelty wears off. So much for the 15 pound weight loss. I'm bummed because I still have so far to go!

Okay, so this is an emergency room visit on a plate for me, but I thought the photo was cute.

What I have noticed about my relationship with food is that healthy habits on my part are generally easier to keep when I'm not tired. And I don't mean the I-stayed-up-too-late-last-night-therefore-am-tired-today kind of tired. I mean the kind of chronic sleep deprivation that accompanies small children and hormone changes. I was doing quite well until recently, in fact.

There are at least two things on this plate that would cause some problems for me.

The baby has been a good sleeper at night almost from birth, although his day time sleep has never been good. I didn't really mind the day time sleep issues because we were getting a good night's sleep. I joined Weight Watchers, started working out regularly at the gym, got back into a routine with my personal trainer, and was feeling like my goal weight was actually attainable, rather than a far-off dream from another planet.

I had begun to think that the extreme sleep problems we experienced with my older son's babyhood were not going to plague us this go-round. I was wrong. November marked not only the end of daylight savings time, the bane of sleep-deprived parents everywhere, but the beginning of earnest teething for the baby. While the baby is generally pleasant when awake and shows none of the behaviors we came to expect when my older son was cutting a tooth, he isn't sleeping. Not at night, not during the day. For the last month or so, the baby is sleeping for 20 minutes at random intervals during the day and waking every 90 minute most nights beginning around 11 p.m. Oh, and did I mention that he is up for the day between 4-5 a.m.? Which means we are up for the day then too. Suffice to say, we are both tired, and my efforts to go to the gym and eat healthy have pretty much flown out the window.

I can't even begin to list all the problem foods on this plate. Looks tasty, though, doesn't it?

I've not given up just yet, as I keep hoping (somewhat vainly) that today will be the day the fog lifts and I can get back to my life. I've been dragging myself to a Pilates class once a week, and am still halfheartedly tracking POINTS with Weight Watchers, but I confess I lack the motivation and drive and kept me going prior to November. Luckily, I still have my creative drive and keep poking away at various projects, and am glad to receive requests for more--stamping is keeping me sane! I keep hoping I'll find the motivation and drive to get back to my healthy lifestyle and continuing weight loss efforts, along with the energy that made me consider reorganizing and further simplifying our home. Needless to say, both projects have been put on hold for the moment.

But that is what New Year's Resolutions are for, right?

Wedding Invitations in Style

I know, you can't believe it, two posts in two days! I'm pretty unmotivated to create today, so I spent this morning running errands. I took the long way to the post office to get in a walk (there was no way I was going to make my Zumba class at 9:30 given my allergies and general exhaustion this week; Pilates on Wednesday was quite enough for me, thank you very much).

After I mailed my packages, I walked a bit down Chestnut Street because I remembered seeing a consignment shop there that I've been meaning to check out when I didn't have my children in tow. It was great! Lots of nice things, little bit high on the prices, but good quality items and presented nicely. Almost felt like I was shopping in a regular store! Definitely a few steps above our local Salvation Army--I always feel like I need a shower after being in there. I found a corduroy jacket that fit great, but was a bit more than I wanted to spend, and a very cute pair of leather heels, but passed on both in favor of two great skirts on the clearance rack. I have two small children, and hopefully more to come, so I need to be realistic about what I really wear every day. In any case, it was good to get out of the house, and walk around in the crisp cold air--winter is my favorite season!

I'm posting because of a few requests to see the wedding invitations. I bought a tutorial on how to make it from another demonstrator a while back and modified it for the bride, who wanted the invitation to be in two languages, English and Russian. I like the color combination a lot--she wanted a blue to match her engagement ring, which is a light blue stone, very close to Baja Breeze. A perfect match! The bride also wanted a pop of red, so we decided Cherry Cobbler would the be perfect complement to Baja Breeze. I will say that I've got Elements of Style out of my system for a while now. I think that set will go to the bottom of the pile for a bit. Nothing like making 150 wedding invitations and 80 thank you notes with the same stamp set to give you style fatigue. Oh wait, I still have to make her programs, but I have some time before I need to get working on those!

These are the coordinating thank you notes--I used a template that I've been enamoured of for a while--I like the tone-on-tone style, and the little pops of color are great, in my humble opinion. Plus these notes are elegant and useful for a variety of occasions, so if she has some left over, she can use them for other things.

Just for You: Elizabeth

I've had a lot of different ideas for this post running around in my head for a few days, and just can't seem to settle down to one thing (in more ways than one), so forgive me if this is somewhat scattered and brief. My children are finally on the upswing of a nasty respiratory infection, after a month of interrupted sleep and crankiness, and I'm starting to feel a bit better myself, although I'm still quite tired and somewhat congested. At least the stuff is starting to make an exit, however slow. I've been feverishly trying to finish those wedding invitations I think I've mentioned a time or two, and I'm happy to announce that they are, in fact, done. The thank you notes that go with them are about half done. I'm nearly finished with the Valentines for the From Our Hearts box, and I've got about 12 Christmas cards to make yet. After that, a few odds and ends for Christmas gifts and then I can breathe for a while.

While I'm breathing (in-out, in-out), I'm going to attack my house, which has started to feel overfull. I'm sure by some standards, we are positively spartan, but I've always struggled between extremes of pack-ratism and monkish asceticism when it comes to my belongings. When I clean out, I tend to get rid of too much stuff, and when I let things be, I tend to accumulate too much stuff. It's hard for me to find balance. A few weeks ago, I stumbled across this blog call The Nester, and in it, she mentioned a book called Organized Simplicity. I was immediately struck by the title and ordered a copy that same day (I know, one more thing to add to the pile...). I've been reading it in fits because that is the type of book it is, and I've decided I need to go through my house room by room and really take stock. My husband thinks that as long as there is still room for things, we shouldn't worry about it, but I'm starting to feel suffocated and stressed by our stuff. When we moved here, we had 60 boxes of books (which we pared down to about 50). I know that another book cull is needed. What I'd really like to get our book collection down to an amount that will basically fit in the living room. We have massive built-in bookcases there that are pretty full at the moment, plus five more on the second floor that are totally full, so I definitely have my work cut out. I think a season of fasting (Advent) is a good time to take stock. Last Lent, I took stock of my menu planning and household chore organization; this Advent is to be our physical space. So I don't think I'll be posting much in December because I'm not sure how much I'll be creating. And as anyone who has read this blog long knows, we don't celebrate Christmas until January 7 anyway, so I've got time.

My card for today is simple (as are many of my cards lately). It uses the Elizabeth ala carte stamp (so versatile!) and an embossing folder. So easy!

Supplies:
Melon Mambo, Old Olive, Whisper White cs
Elizabeth, Teeny Tiny Wishes stamps
Old Olive, Melon Mambo ink
Gray satin ribbon (non-Su!)