~creative writing~ MI:5 and the Return of Lucas North

I admit, I spend a lot of naptimes knitting and binge-watching enjoying various television series (I've said I'm particularly drawn to shows about people who live in the shadows).  Sometimes certain scenes or characters so take my interest that I end up writing about them, or writing the scene again, but from a different point of view from what was shown in the program.  I thought it might be fun to share one of those little vignettes.

The first episode of series 7 of Spooks/MI:5 opens with a dramatic prisoner exchange (start at 9:35 in the linked video; the scene is a couple of minutes long).  In this scene, we meet Lucas North, the MI:5 operative who has been stuck in a Russian prison for eight years.  Harry Pearce, the head of the anti-terrorism unit in MI:5, has been forced to arrange the exchange by a crafty FSB officer, Arkady Katchemov; the scene is primarily told from Harry's point of view.  The scene serves as an introduction to the character of Lucas, who will rejoin the unit at Thames House and take on an integral role with the show for the following 3 seasons.  

The following is my take on the scene, but from inside Lucas' head.  Some of the dialogue is paraphrased from later in the episode, but I thought it worked here:

The air in the trunk was stale and hot.  The car bumped hard over a dip in the road and his head banged against something metal.  He groaned a little and tried to shift his position but his arms were bound and he had no where to put them between his knees. He couldn't see much through the dark hood that covered his face--it was a thinly woven black material, rayon or linen perhaps, but there was almost no outside light in the trunk of the car.

The car stopped and he heard the engine idling.  Car doors opened and closed with soft clicks--a clandestine meeting then.  He wished the trunk was open so he could at least hear what was going on.  He was to be exchanged; he knew that much.  He wasn't sure if he would go back to his own people or someone else.  After eight years of Siberian hell, he wasn't sure whether he cared.

He'd received a new prison tattoo a few days before the start of the journey and it itched infernally.  It was on the back of his neck, so he tried rubbing it against the rough nub of the trunk's carpet.  

He could hear the low murmur of voices and the sound of footsteps crunching gravel.  The footsteps stopped in front of the trunk and he heard the jangle of keys and then the metallic thunk as the trunk was opened.  Two pairs of arms grabbed him around the arms and legs, roughly removing his binding, and then hauling him out of the trunk.  He landed on his feet and dug his toes hard into the loose gravel, ready for a fresh assault.  He had lost nearly 40 pounds in prison, but he was still wiry and fast.  The hands pushed him against a car door--to make it appear he had been riding in the back seat, he supposed.  There was more crunching gravel and car doors opening and closing.  

The hood was yanked off and he was momentarily disoriented after so many days of darkness.  Thankfully it was nearly dark out, so at least he wasn't blind.  Nonetheless, he blinked a few times and shook his head a little.  It felt strange to move his arms freely--he hadn't been able to use the loo unassisted for the entirety of the journey, one last humiliation.  

The back of his neck still throbbed so he rolled his shoulders a little, moving his head side to side.  His vision had returned and he stumbled forward on stiff legs, passing another man he hardly saw.

"Hallo Harry."  Harry Pearce was the same as ever, white dress shirt and tied, tailored dark suit, velvet-collared overcoat.  His face was blank and Lucas knew he was masking something strong.

"Welcome home, Lucas.  How are you feeling?"  

Lucas' voice was rough with disuse and the English words felt thick on his tongue.  "Fine.  Good.  Cold."  

Harry was characteristically brief, holding open a car door and indicating that Lucas should get in.  Lucas shuffled forward again, his stiff legs at first refusing to obey.  He then planted his feet more firmly and strode toward the waiting door.  He slid onto the cool leather seat and Harry shut the door and walked over to speak with Katchemov.  

Inside the car, Lucas could smell himself and was embarrassed.  He could see that the loose-fitting track suit he wore was stained and dirty and he could see his fingers and nails were grimy.  His hair was lank and greasy, and his beard scruffy.  He rubbed the back of his neck again, feeling the light scabbing.  His fingers found the top cross of the large network of tattoos that webbed his back and he felt strangely reassured.  

Harry slid in the other seat and clicked the seat belt.  Lucas stared out the window at the London skyline, trying to sort out what to say, how much to say, what to feel, where to the put the feelings he didn't want to feel.

"How did they treat you?"

Lucas wondered how to answer that.

"Sometimes well, sometimes, not."  He paused as Harry looked out the window, lips pursed.  "They told me I could come home if I spied for them."  He gave Harry a sardonic smile.  Harry looked at him again.

"What did you say?"

"I said yes."  That smile again.  Harry smiled back, looking pleased.  An old spy joke. Lucas looked out the window again.  He felt so tired all of the sudden.

"I know what you must think--that we abandoned you to the Russians..."Harry trailed off, sounding uncertain for the first time.  Lucas kept his eyes on the passing landscape.  

"I knew the risks when I went in."  He couldn't offer absolution--not now--although some small part of him wanted to.  

"I just wanted to tell you that we didn't forget."  Harry was gruff.

"I know."  Lucas kept his face turned away.  He knew he could mask his feelings well; it was part of the job after all, but he felt too raw, too exposed, after the journey and the final interrogation only days before.  The electrical burns on his legs were only half-healed.  

"You should go to the safe house, get cleaned up, get some rest."  Harry's voice softened.  "We can debrief you in a few days."

"I need to go back to work, Harry."  Lucas looked at him then.  "That's the best thing for me right now."  He swallowed, and then looked out the window.

Harry gave him a brief vague smile.  "Let's just get through the next 48 hours, and see where it takes us, hmm?"

"Could you hook us up with some fish and chips, then?  I've got a craving."

Sewing Thoughts: I yam what I yam

File this under: I yam what I yam.

We are braced for the Pope's visit tomorrow, and this week has been seriously nuts.  I clocked 11 miles in three days to get kids to and from school on foot because of all the parking restrictions and lack of bus service, and now our are is on lock down for the rest of the weekend.  There is a military presence at both ends of our block, military choppers overhead since 5:00 a.m., and barricades in effect since this morning.  It is kind of eerie.

Since I can't go anywhere, and no one can really come to us, I thought it would be a good opportunity to work on my fall sewing projects.  I spent yesterday morning sewing up my second rayon Portrait blouse, and then working on bodice slopers.  The process was instructive.  I've had this idea for several months that I really should be making different sleeve variations.  I should make stuff with set-in sleeves, and conquer my shoulder fitting difficulties.  I should find a raglan sleeve bodice, because...I don't really know why.  So I fitted one of each yesterday.  

The raglan sleeve bodice was...okay.  I didn't actually like the way it looked on me, and I really disliked the limited range of motion in a woven fabric.  Same for the set in sleeve.  I used my Emery bodice, having traced it off again for set in sleeves, and redrafted the darts for more thorough fitting.  I got the sleeve head to hit at the proper place, the length was good, the bodice fitted well in all the right spots, but....meh.  I don't like the limited range of motion in a woven fabric, and dropping the arm scye or widening the upper sleeve only makes it look too big on me.  

I realized another thing while I was fitting both bodices.  I really only wear long or three-quarter sleeved anything in knit fabrics.  Wovens with longer sleeves just don't last long in my closet.  (Actually wovens with almost any non-kimono style sleeve don't last long)  I feel overdressed, restricted and too overly aware of my clothing.  I don't mind wearing a knit long sleeve t shirt underneath a short sleeve dress to warm it up, or throwing a cardigan over the top.  I often buy fabric with cardigans in mind.  

So I decided to stick with what I love, with what fits well, and can be made in a lot of variation depending on fabric and details: my cut-on sleeve modified Emery bodice.  (It is the one I've been using/tweaking for the past year now).  I just put on the Union Station dress today for the first time in about a year, and I realized how far I've come with that bodice in terms of fit and comfort.  The Union Station dress is fine, it fits, it looks okay.  But some of my more recent dresses fit and feel even better.  I just finished the Boxcar dress this morning, and am eager to wear and photograph it (after I sew the buttons on, that is!).  I might even make a Portrait blouse out of the Union Station fabric and let the dress version go to the sewing clouds in the sky.  

In that spirit, I decided not to muslin any new skirt blocks, as I had intended this weekend.  The gold twill I ordered turned out to be mascot gold and will go with precisely nothing in my wardrobe, so it is going back.  The burgundy and navy twill, however, are gorgeous, and will be wonderful additions to my closet.  I cut out both this afternoon on the same block as the green twill skirt.   I've also made up my mind about the two dresses I had planned for winter: they will be franken-dresses, and I'm glad to make them as such.  I'm scheming ways to wear them already.  And perhaps I need to consider conquering knit fabrics going forward.

I realized too that my patience for fitting new things is very low right now, and with my measurements changing a fair bit, I'm not eager to fit something now, and have to refit again in a few months.  I'm also in a sartorial place of being visually attracted to interesting details and silhouettes, but wanting a more plain wardrobe for myself for every day.  I find if a garment has too many interesting details, I end up feeling like it is something I have to save for special, and there just isn't that much "special" in my life right now. At most I need two or three dresses like that for the couple of work events I attend with my husband each year, plus Pascha and Christmas and other feasts.  If there is one thing I strive for in my sewing, it is practical everyday clothing that fits well, suits my (evolving) style, and coordinates with the rest of my closet.  Hopefully, these new things will serve that purpose.

Onward!

All the Knitting, All the Time ~yarn along~

I've been knitting a lot lately.  I've not been feeling that great since the end of August when I had that endoscopy, and then developed bronchitis afterward (although a round of antibiotics has me finally starting to feel better, thank God!).  Knitting is a nice sit-in-a-chair-and-watch-Person-of-Interest kind of thing to do while convalescing, so I've been doing it a lot.  

I'm no further on the blue sweater, because I've been letting it sit.  It is too heavy to wear in the fall anyway, so I'm not in a rush to finish it just now.

In the meantime, I did finish a little collar with some cotton-linen yarn from Knit Picks--it has interesting drape, and the color is so fall-like (clementine, if you are interested).  I have quite a bit of yarn left over, so I might make a pair of mitts to go with it.  

I didn't love knitting with the yarn, however, because the high cotton content makes the yarn very round--it was like knitting a dishcloth.  I prefer the springiness of wool.  I will say that the instructions for this collar had a few mistakes (primarily about buttonholes, but it worked out in the end--I thought five buttons was a bit much for a collar this size, and working four was perfect.  Plus, I had four burgundy buttons that coordinated well)

I also started another project from 1918: a cranberry colored pullover sweater.  I had 7 balls of Comfy yarn in my stash, bought for a project that I soured on a few years ago, and I really wanted to make them up into something for this fall. The yarn is a cotton-acrylic mix and it is so soft and squishy, I thought it would be perfect for this time of year. 

I started out to remake the 1944 Twisted Rib sweater and got a few inches in before I realized I didn't like how it looked, or how it was draping with this yarn.  I think I need to use a regular old worsted wool for that pattern.  Anything with a little bit of drape to it just looks weird.  So I started combing through my patterns and found one from a 1918 Fleisher's knitting book that I think will turn out well:

It has an easy all-over stitch pattern, and I'm finding the ribbing has gone very quickly.  I've got the ribbing done and have started on the body (it is a modified basket stitch)  I'm a little concerned about the length (according to the diagram, it will come out to 24 1/2") which could be fine, or might end up looking too long on me.  I debated a long while about making it shorter, but decided to just go for it and make it according to spec. 

As for reading, not much at the moment.  We started listening to the Gospel of Mark in our school commuting route, after St. Matthew's dramatic conclusion late last week.  I love hearing St. Mark's gospel--so much of his personality comes through with his writing.  (It is even more obvious in the Greek).  I also managed to get a copy of Word of Promise onto my ancient decrepit ipod and started listening to Romans during odd moments.  I really like the format and pacing.  I also downloaded an audio Russian language course to start working again on my Russian language skills.  I'm feeling pushed a bit in that direction lately, so we'll see what comes of it.

I did start reading A Brief History of the Cold War this week, and found it to be surprisingly adept and concise.  There were several things in the early part of the Cold War that I was quite unaware of, and the authors quickly cover all aspects with surprising depth and accessible prose.  The book is only 100 pages, and covers the entirety of the Cold War, so it is necessarily abbreviated, but I'm finding a lot to get into.  

Linking with Ginny for Yarn Along!

The (Almost) Lady Gansey in Green

I teased you yesterday with a look at my completed green cardigan--so today, I present the green cardigan!  Considering my skill level, and the issues I encountered along the way, I'm pretty happy with how this came out.  I did actually wear it yesterday and it felt comfortable.

It was sort of an agony aunt story, however.  This sweater was my FIFTH, count 'em, 5th go with this yarn.  I started out using the Lady Gansey sweater pattern from the Wanderlust book (an excellent book with many good patterns that use DK or Worsted weight yarn, instead of a whole book of fabulous vintage style patterns...in fingering weight yarn.  Debbie Bliss and Susan Crawford, I'm looking at you...)  I used Brava sport acrylic yarn from Knit Picks (in grass, if you care)  I picked it mostly for the color--I was really needing a kelly green heavier weight sweater for spring and fall, and I couldn't find the right color in Swish or another wool blend.  So I went with acrylic.  It isn't as nice as my Swish stuff, but for a project like this, it will do.

Most of the pattern is worked in basic stockinette, in the round, from the bottom up, but the button band is worked in a kind of complex cable pattern together with the body.  I underestimated my patience for this button band.  It is a 20 stitch pattern, and requires counting every single row, with four different cable stitches to use and memorize, and after about two repeats, I was ready to stab my eyes out.  I had at least two mistakes at that point, and it bugged me.

So I pulled it out, started again with a different stitch pattern--this time I tried garter stitch for the button band.  I got a few inches done, and realized I didn't like the garter stitch look.  So out that came.  Then I cast on again, knitted a few inches using a moss stitch for the button band and realized that the button band was coming out way too wide and just looked weird.  So I pulled that out, cast on again, making the button band a bit narrower, and realized I had cast on the wrong number of stitches and was quite short (I had forgotten the whole left front section).  So out that one came.  I cast on a 5th time sometime in mid-July and was determined to persevere.  I also decided to knit the whole sweater plain, instead of adding the complicated cable section at the top half of the sweater.  After five tries, I wasn't eager to get into something that was going to frustrate me, or that I wouldn't be able to finish. 

The button band turned out okay, I think, and while I probably should have made the ribbing section longer (I think 4 or 5" would have give the perfect amount of shaping at the bottom), this was a good first try with this pattern.   I did shorten the body quite a bit, because I wanted something closer to my fitted vintage-style sweaters, and plus the shorter length looks better on my frame, I think.  

As with so many patterns, the shoulders are too wide (I did try to pull them in a bit during that part of the knitting, but I didn't know how much I needed to, and probably should have decreased a few more times.  The sleeves are knit directly on to the sweater, which was a learning curve for me.  I liked the process of the short rows, but I didn't like working in the round once I got past the sleeve cap.  But it did save me an awful lot of seaming at the end, so I guess that is something.  It was nice to finish the second sleeve and only have to work the neckband.

I will probably not wear it buttoned up like this very often, but it is nice to know that I can button it up and that it looks okay.  I dithered a lot about the buttons.  In the end, the buttons I put on were my second choice, because I couldn't find my first choice when it came down to it (it turns out I had put them in the bag I was using to carry this project around--go figure).  I guess I can change them out later if I really want to.  

I made the sleeves 3/4 length, although with my short arms, they are almost bracelet length--it was oddly hard to gauge the length while I was making it.  So my main quibbles with the sweater are the shoulder width (always needs to be narrower--I might knit the next size down on my next go) and the ribbing width on the bottom.  Plus I need to work on my technique when I'm picking up stitches around the arms and neckline.  I'm planning a pink version to go with my Melody dress and blouse, so I can make the changes to the next iteration pretty shortly. 

HSM #9: Brown, 1933 Asymmetric Cowl

I finished my little asymmetric neck cowl from 1933 sometime last week, but it has been too hot to put it on, even for a photograph.  The weather finally cooled down significantly overnight, and this morning was deliciously cool.  I had several knitted items to photograph, but it is trash day, so our street is full of recycling containers and trash bags, plus we are bracing for Pope-mageddon, so everything is in a tizzy today.  So I went out back instead.  

But back to the cowl.  I found it on Dottie Angel's blog a few months ago and knew I wanted to make it at some point.  When my original plans for the brown challenge fell by the wayside (and I focused my fall sewing more tightly after starting Project 333) a brown neck cowl seemed the perfect little thing for this crazy month.  She used a Australian pattern from 1933, and wrote intelligible directions for it, so I used her method.  The only thing I don't care for about the pattern is that the buttonhole is pretty far from the edge, and is also quite large.  I guess those honking big buttons from those 1930s button cards I have are good for this type of project!  I ended up needing to add another small button to attach the edge because of the button hole placement, but I like the additional asymmetry.  Dottie Angel had to do the same thing, so I was prepared for the possibility.

It is a basic garter stitch scarflet, with knitted decreases at about the half way point.  I could possibly have made the scarf a smidge wider, to make it a bit more dramatic, but given that my neck is rather short, the smaller roll-over collar looks better this way, I think.  I used some random vintage brownish buttons I had in my button bin to finish it off.  It was a nice quick and easy project that was a nice little stash buster--I had some lava Swish yarn left over from last year's gauntlet project (they are still my favorites!) and now I have a nice little coordinating neck warmer too! (I have a separate post cooking on the green sweater; stay tuned!)

The Challenge: Brown

What is it? Asymmetric Neck Cowl

Fabric: 1.5 balls of 100% merino superwash wool, Swish from Knit Picks, in Lava

Pattern: 10 July 1933 Novel Cowl, from the Queensland Times (Ipswich)

Year: 1933

Notions: 2 vintage buttons

How historically accurate is it? 8/10--I'm pretty sure superwash wool wasn't available in 1933, but the pattern is from a newspaper clipping, and the findings are vintage (couldn't say for certain they are from the 1930s, but they are old, possibly 1940s) Knitting pins were bamboo, which may or may not be accurate.

Hours to complete: It was a quick project--maybe a handful of naptimes? 6 hours? I felt like I finished this project in two or three days.

First worn: September 21, 2015 for photographs. I'll probably wear it a lot more as the weather has started to change.

Total cost: $9

STATurday: Milestones

I think it is time for another check in--I feel like I've hit a kind of milestone, so I thought it might be worth noting down.

First off: stats.  I'm down 13 pounds since mid-July, and about 12", mostly between my waist and hips (almost 4" off each, plus a bit off arms, bust, and thighs)  I'm half way to the weight loss target I was given by the trainer at the gym (although not to my own personal goal weight).  I'm basically back to where I was at the end of the summer in 2012.  I lost about 8 pounds that fall (while unknowingly in my first trimester with Ponchik!) and felt really good about things then.  Losing another 13 would put me close to where I was when I got married.  So it feels like a way station.

The most notable thing about these last couple of weeks is that I've been pretty sick with a lung infection, so I've not been able to work out as much as I was.  I had to take nearly a week off from the gym during the most acute phase of the illness, during the first week of September, and am still dealing with a fair amount of lingering fatigue and lung junk.  I'm on antibiotics now, and I think Thursday was the first day I didn't feel like death come supper time.  So perhaps I've turned a corner on the illness.  I was pretty washed out again yesterday morning, so took the day off, but I'm going to go again this morning.  I'm only going to clock about 7 miles on the treadmill this week (I went once earlier this week and will do another 3 today, God-willing) 4 miles this week because I've been felled by another sneaky virus, but I am trying to do a more active-recovery style workout when I do go.  I'm not lifting until my lungs are totally clear.  I'll get back to my routine soon, I hope.

As for food, I'm trying to stick to my 1670 daily calorie target, trying to eat high protein meals, and staying out of the kitchen in the evenings, for the most part.  Logging my food on My Fitness Pal has been very helpful in this direction.  I admit, the illness has taken my appetite as well, so some of the loss has been due to that.  My goal is to keep it off by sticking to my eating plan.  (I guess getting another virus before the old one is gone is good for something??)

Right now, I am eating 2 cups of a Chex-like cereal in the morning, with whole milk and drinking a bit of iced coffee with milk.  Lunch is often cottage cheese with sour cherry preserves, or perhaps leftovers.  I usually have a bit of a chocolate bar with my lunch.  I did experiment with a faux chicken salad this week that was pretty much a disaster.  I was tolerating some popcorn okay, so I made it once in the pan, and also bought some of the olive-oil popped variety from Trader Joe's that is good. After some drama involving a stuck pill over the weekend, however, I'm sticking to a low-irritant diet and will hold off on popcorn for a while now. Watermelon is still good, as are grapes, so I'm eating those pretty often as well.  I'm getting better at portions for dinner, particularly with foods I prepare myself from scratch, so there's that as well.  (That has always been my issue with food logging programs--they work best on pre-prepared foods that have specific nutritional information included on the packaging.  If you mostly prepare your own food, and you eat the way we do, more casserole style, then gauging portions for a recipe can be tricky).

Mostly, I just feel like my body feels normal again--like it is mine, and the alien invaders of the last 18 months are starting to move house.  

In other news, I used some credits I had on my ThredUp account to purchase these shoes, and was on the fence about returning them, because they are a bit higher than I normally wear, even with the toe platform.  I also had a decent neutral pair of sandals I wore all summer (the second-hand Naturalizers that have featured in many a sewing post these last months).  Then suddenly, on my way out the door on Thursday night, my Naturalizers just fell apart on me!  No hope for repair.  So I decided to keep these in their place.  I like them and they are surprisingly comfortable.  I love it when God looks after even the little things.

Just the facts:

Button pocket dress: Eshakti

Wannabe Hasbeen shoes: Old Navy via ThredUp

Earrings: from my gram

Psalm necklace: gift from a friend, from Georgia (the country, not the state)

The leaves, they are a-changin'

I was all set to photograph the red polka dot headscarf this morning, but after putting it on, and trying it a few ways, I realized that I need to make it triangular instead of a big square.  The fabric is quilt-weight, and so it is a little too bulky when doubled up and feels heavy on my head.  Plus it felt a little too "spring-y" for the season, frankly.  So I put it aside to work on another day.

So instead, I took a few quick snaps of my outfit today, because I wanted to show off a belt I bought on etsy a few weeks ago, for the fall season.  I really love mustard-colored things, but am too pale to pull it off near my face.  I'm always kind of trying to talk myself into thinking that it looks good, but really, it just doesn't.  Better to stick with accessories or shoes: I had a pair of mustard colored ballet flats during one of my pregnancies that was great...until I had the baby and they didn't fit right any more.  (The caveat on mustard is that I can wear it near my face if it is a really saturated jewel-like tone; I recently found a marigold-colored cardigan that I think will be great.  I've shifted two other cardigans out of my Project 333 Fall rotation to make way for it).  

Anyway.  The belt.  I saw it on etsy a long time ago, and saved it in my favorites, and decided to purchase it in August, when I was planning out my next three month rotation.  I knew this belt would take my chambray dress into the fall, and would give me a bit of that mustard color I love so much.  (The chambray dress is fitting a lot better these days...)  I really like it with this light weight cardigan--it is a great transitional piece that I can swap for a heavier version when the weather gets colder.  

Since I mentioned Project 333, I wanted to say that I'm adding in a few skirt sewing projects to my fall line up.  With the success of my green twill skirt, I bought a few more colorways yesterday (including a lovely saturated mustard gold!), and plan to make up two of them for the fall.  I decided that two of the cardigans I had in my Fall pile didn't really go with anything, and decided to move them out of the rotation to make room for two more skirts plus the marigold cardigan I found recently.  I may also rotate out one of my layering shirts, as I realized that I wear the blue one more with my winter clothes.  I'm finding that having a specific numeric target in my seasonal wardrobe helps me make focused purchases and appropriate swaps.

I also find that the first few weeks of the new rotation require a bit of tweaking here and there, especially when my rotation includes pieces-yet-to-be-made.  I added in this striped shirt from my summer rotation, for example, because during the heat wave last week, I needed a lightweight shirt that could work for the cooler weather to come.  This rotation has been a bit challenging as it has been especially summer-like the last two weeks, and really only cooled down over the weekend.  It is starting to feel like fall in the morning, but is still in the upper 80s by afternoon.  So, transitional weather: sandals and cardigans.

Just the facts:

Chambray dress: me made this summer

Cardigan: Express via ThredUp

Burlap belt: CountryCoutureCo

Shoes: Dankso via ebay

Earrings: etsy

Breton shirt: JCrew via ThredUp

Jeans: Amanda by Gloria Vanderbilt (via Amazon.com)