Every once in a while, I run across an article that just encapsulates a lot of what is running through my head on a particular topic. Today's Talking Tuesday excerpt comes from such an article, forwarded to me yesterday by my husband. I talk a lot about community, and the ways in which post modern society is disconnected, isolated, and lacking in grounded community, but it is difficult to be prescriptive on this subject. I've thought a lot about the topic of community, and living with my feet rooted to the ground a lot, especially since reading Rod Dreher's excellent book, The Little Way of Ruthie Leming. I think what I find difficult to work through is that we are not in a position to uproot ourselves and move nearer to either of our families. So every couple of months we struggle through our choices all over again, wondering if we are making the right decision to stay in the city, to work within the fractured networks that make up urban living. So far we have always come up trumps on staying in the city and making the best of our situation now (and there are many reasons why our current situation works well for us at this stage). But still. I struggle with online life (as evidenced by my frequent hand-wringing on the subject), and the substitutionary community that it provides. This article nails it:
"Oftentimes people lament that they want to be part of communities, but what they really mean is that they want to enjoy the benefits of communities without having to deal with any of their responsibilities and hassles. They want to get, but not give. Being part of a community means not only taking from the pot, but putting into it; if you’re not willing to help out fellow members when they’re in need, and deal with the annoyances inherent to any close-knit group, you’ll never move beyond existing in a network.
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In order to form a community, you need to live and interact with the same people for a long time — to go through a myriad of ups and downs together. People will never know your whole self if you trade them in for new friends every two years. Community requires being rooted in a single place for an extended period of time."
Brett and Kate Mckay, Communities Vs. Networks, The Art of Manliness Blog,
that is really it. I am finding that as I reach out to my new friends, phone, email, in person when possible, I find my life more rooted and I feel more myself; it's tough when you have young ones and don't always feel that you can have as many options but one thing at a time. It's good to stay around in 1 place when you can; it takes time to build community; often at least 3 years minimum just to regain what you may have had elsewhere ... praying for you!! :)
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