Talking Tuesday: The Patience of Job

via Orthodox Monastery Icons, google images

Job has been on my mind the past couple of days, and how he continued to praise God in the midst of terrible, awful circumstances, and endured for much longer than this season I've been in.  And then God showered blessings upon blessings on Job.  Job continued to praise God in the midst of his blessings, too, which I think is something many of us forget to do.  (I know I do).  When times are tough, it is easy to remember to pray, but when things are going along relatively well, it is easy to forget Him.  Perhaps creating the discipline of prayer in hard times is what conditions our soul to continue to pray during more peaceful times.

I confess, it has been a long time since there has been a truly peaceful season in my life, and I keep hoping for one to come along.  My prayers sometimes seem to fall on deaf ears, but I keep praying because the need is so great, and my spirit is so thirsty.  If this discipline of prayer and watchfulness is training my soul to stay mindful of God, then it is all for the good.  I do find myself impatient to be through this fiery furnace, to cool waters on the other side, but I am also curious to see what will be forged from this fire. 

This season has been a season of great interior change--of expansion, a great tilling of soil.  That process has been quite painful at times.  In my quieter moments, I can see that things are somewhat better than they were even six months ago, and that all this digging deep with the children is producing some fruit, both in them and in me, but there are still a lot of days that feel Sisyphean.  And maybe that is just life.  The way it goes--a little bit forward, a little bit back, some days worse, some days better. 

At some point, you get enough of the way down the road to look behind you and see how far you've come, but I think I'm not there yet.