Living in a Material World

The material world is on my mind lately.  I wonder sometimes how far we have strayed from our vision of a simple life in the city (perhaps not at all, perhaps a lot; I don't have the advantage of time and perspective right now).  I'm feeling overburdened by the stuff in our house at the moment (I have four bags of stuff ready for donation, but lack the time and energy to get them somewhere since the convenient place I've been donating to for the last five years collapsed in a construction accident earlier this year).  The funny thing is what gives me energy is creating things, and I'm trying to tow that fine line between creating things that I can use and creating things just for the sake of keeping my hands busy and my creative itch scratched.

The holiday season makes me sad too.  We no longer travel to visit family for any of these holidays, and being off the Western calendar is still jarring to me, even after almost six years.  It is tempting to drown my sorrows in unproductive ways, like overindulging in food, or shopping, but as Matt Walsh pointed out earlier this week, consumerism is not the answer, nor does it help matters any.  (Incidentally, I think Mr. Walsh's article has quite a wide reach if you really think about it.  And I am thinking about it--how much time do I devote to feeding the consumer machine?  How skewed has my thinking become as a result?  I'm still pondering what needs to change in my life to pull back from what modern society says is normal, and get back to some traditional simple living.  But that is a post for another day).

We also have kids who are getting old enough to understand the whole concept of gifts, and Piglet's birthday falls on Christmas Eve, so that is always a tricky line to navigate as well.  (And having new things in the house is always hard for a while because of all the sensory issues around here)  In short, I'm feeling overwhelmed this year.  I have our cards ready to go to the printers, but I'm forgoing our traditional newsy letter for something much more streamlined.  I dislike it on the one hand because I feel like I'm giving in (to what, I don't know), but on the other hand, I feel that it is the only way I'm going to get a card out this year.  And it does hit the highlights in a sort of micro-blogging kind of way.  I know I should remember that I have a six month old baby, who is developmentally closer to four months, and three older kids who are still young and needy, and that I'm still not sleeping well at night (up every 60-90 minutes currently), so it doesn't take much to overwhelm my schedule or my feeling able to accomplish even a small task.  Everything is done in short bursts and my brain has a lot of trouble putting coherent thoughts together (so forgive me if this is stream of consciousness-rambling)

I've decided that this year, I'm going to take it easy on myself and try to scale back my own expectations.

I'm going to print off my simple card and be happy with it.

I'm going to keep the decorations very simple and put them up in time for St. Nicholas Day on December 19.  After several years' pondering, I finally ordered a Cradle to Cross wooden candle wreath that I'm hoping will arrive in time to use for Advent.  I'm not buying anything else to decorate with for Christmas--I'm going to use what I have.  I have a good stash now and feel good about my ability to get it up and keep the kids away from it for the duration.

We aren't going to attend our annual concerts this year (Anonymous4 and Messiah); evening childcare is too complicated right now, and frankly, I'm just too tired in the evening to want to go out.

I'm going to stick with my Focus T25 exercise routine and hope that my energy levels will catch up eventually (I'm in week four; it has to start getting better soon, right?)

I'm going to try and ignore my to-do list, and not take on any major organizing/cleaning projects until I feel better.

I will limit myself to browsing on etsy.  I put myself on a shopping moratorium a few weeks ago, and have mostly stuck to it, but I did end up purchasing a few skirts in the last few weeks as it is clear that my warm winter skirts from last year still do not fit and I just needed something as my sewing time is so limited.

I'm going to remind myself (and remind myself again) that my baby is only going to be six months old once, and that when she gets older, I don't want to regret not holding her more as a baby.  Whatever it is that I think needs doing can wait.

I don't expect that these things will hold the sadness at bay, or that I will be able to stay the course for the entire season, but I do hope that being mindful will give me a place to start.