Talking Tuesday: Anna Karenina and Alias

This is probably the weirdest mash-up of cultural references, but hang in there with me.  I've long been a fan of Anna Karenina.  I read it while I lived in Russia, and the book provided me with a lot of insight into Russian culture and character.  I will admit, Anna grows tiresome about two thirds of the way through the novel, and her whining really gets on my nerves, but there is so much to relish in the story beyond the sad tale of Anna and Vronsky.  The scene where Lev goes into the fields with the peasants to help with the reaping is a particular favorite of mine, because of all the different things it illustrates (but I'll leave that analysis for a different time).  Instead, I'd like to think a little about the character of relationships as described in the story.

Writing in Commentary Magazine online, Gary Saul Morson writes:

"We tend to think that true life is lived at times of high drama. When Anna Karenina reads a novel on the train, she wants to live the exciting incidents described. Both high literature and popular culture foster the delusion that ordinary, prosaic happiness represents something insufferably bourgeois, a suspension of real living. Forms as different as romantic drama, adventure stories, and tragedies suggest that life is truly lived only in moments of great intensity.

Tolstoy thought just the opposite.

The dramatic understanding of life that Tolstoy rejected has, if anything, grown still more powerful. Today very few people question that “true love” is the grand and glorious feeling that consumes one’s very being, as in Romeo and Juliet and countless debased imitations. By contrast, Tolstoy wants us to recognize that romantic love is but one kind of love. It is an ideology of love, in fact, but we do not recognize it as one. In Anna Karenina, Kitty at first prefers the dashing and romantic Vronsky to the kind and staid Levin because she has assumed, as most of us do, that she should marry the one she “loves”; and she has been told that “love” is romantic rather than prosaic. She does not yet recognize that what she feels for Levin is also a form of love, and that she has a real choice. Which love does she really want?

Over time Kitty comes to recognize that in addition to romantic love there is also intimate love. Only intimate love is compatible with a family. Tolstoy wants his readers to be aware that this choice exists for them as well."

~The Moral Urgency of Anna Karenina, Gary Saul Morson, April 1, 2015

That got me thinking about the quality of relationships, and what interpersonal relationships are for. This summer, I re-watched Alias, and am reminded of what a well-written and fun show that was. Of course, the relationship that develops between Sydney and Vaughn over the course of the five seasons is probably the most interesting thing about the show, but there is so much complexity between all the characters' interactions with one another; I think some of the layers eluded me when I watched it the first few times through.  As I watched the show this summer, there were several moments between Sydney and Vaughn that really stood out to me.  

One moment in particular stood out to me in season 3 (spoilers ahead).  Vaughn's father died when he was a child, and the anniversary of his death is always particularly difficult for him.  Vaughn has spent the day going around in a funk, feeling distant from his wife, hurting from the pain of missing his father, and when Syndey says to him, "Today is the day, isn't it?"  The look on his face is one of pure relief--you know me.  You know this hurt.  "How did you know?" he asks. "I remember what missing him does to you," she says quietly.  To me, the scene is made in that brief look on Vaughn's face.  It says volumes about the quality of their previous relationship, and of the ways they drew themselves together and made a sacred space just for them, amidst the crazy of their lives.

I think in any relationship, be it romantic or that of a parent and child, there is the deep desire to be known.  The child wants the parent to know them, to understand them; the spouse wants the other to see them for who they really are, regardless of the mask they wear for the rest of the world.  It is also the thing that can tear relationships apart--when one person doesn't feel known or understood.  I always think this fundamental knowing is part of what makes romantic relationships special--the ability to know and be known, and keep it in a small sacred space, just between the two of you.  It is what makes relationships between people mysterious and interesting.

Midnight Sky

 When I was planning my winter sewing projects this fall, I decided that I was going to focus on Cotton+Steel fabric for the dresses.  I did have some stashed Hampton Twill that I wanted to use for one of the dresses, but the fabric I actually purchased this fall for my winter dresses was from Cotton + Steel.

I think we've established my deep and abiding love for their fabrics.  Their basic "quilt weight" cotton is a lightweight Japanese cotton that has such a soft hand and nice drape to it.  It is more like an old-fashioned percale with a bit of mechanical stretch, if you ask me.  

I really loved the pattern and colors on this dress, although I did hesitate over it for a while.  I'm glad I went for it, though, as it is so nice and saturated.  I'm planning to knit a pink cardigan for the spring to go with my Melody challis stuff, and it will coordinate nicely with the pink moons in this fabric.  For now, though, black accessories seem very wintery to me.

I may have been a tad too aggressive in shortening the bodice, as this one came out a smidge shorter than my other dresses, but I'm so short-waisted it hardly matters.  The elasticized waist casing covers a multitude of errors.  I'm also happy with the way the skirt section is coming out now that I've removed all the center seam allowances (even though I'm still cutting it on the fold).  It is just the right amount of flare and drape for my current preference.

I'm also glad I started taking out the back seam allowance on the bodice--it fits so much better through the back now.  (Losing weight hasn't hurt either!)

The thing I like about the elastic-cased waist is that I can skip the belt.  I am shrinking out of most of my belts, plus I find myself increasingly annoyed by belts, so this is an easy way to get around that.  Plus I like the shaping it gives to the dress and overall silhouette.

There are several shades of blue in the pattern, but it is predominately a cobalt blue on a black background.  I really like it.  I wore this dress on Friday for the Feast of the Entry of the Theotokos in the Temple (blue is her liturgical color) and felt very festive!

I like this style of sweater for winter too--it is warm and has collar interest but has enough shaping to be jacket-like without the restriction.  I bought it at the end of the season last year so it didn't get much wear, but I've been reaching for it a lot this past week.  I just cast on a purple sweater that has a similar shape to it--hopefully I can finish it before spring!

Just the facts:

Midnight Sky Dress: Cotton+Steel fabric, frankenpattern dress (heavily modified emery bodice/McCall's vintage skirt piece, Hollyburn pockets), black bias binding, blue zip, 1/2" elastic for the waist

Black cotton undershirt: Loft via ThredUp

Black Cardigan: St. John's Bay via ebay

Swallow pin: Acorn and Will

Celtic knot earrings: Ireland

Foot traffic tights: sock dreams

Boots: Macy's

Working on my 10,000 Hours...

This skirt is not my best work.  I'm more than a bit shy of 10,000 hours at this sewing thing.  I bought the fabric last winter after getting flannel inspiration from Tasha.  I almost bought the same flannel because I really loved the palette of her outfit, but realized I don't like to wear anything on a white background in the winter, so I went with this brown/rust/green/plum toned plaid cotton flannel instead.  It was on the clearance rack, and very inexpensive--that probably should have tipped me off. 

I initially made it into a simple box-pleated two panel skirt, to avoid having to cut the selvage, as the weave of the fabric is very loose and it is very difficult to get the fabric to stay on-grain.  The skirt looked bulky and awkward on me and I took it apart almost immediately after finishing it. 

I let it languish in my fabric bin until early October--I think I may have pulled the fabric out at the end of my Papal Sew-A-Thon.  I decided that I wanted to use the fabric for my winter rotation, and thought recutting it into a straight skirt using my Anne Adams 9481 would be the way to go.  I didn't have a lot of extra fabric, and it had already been cut to length last year, so I couldn't put in pockets, but I was already dreading matching up the plaid, so I thought it was probably just as well.

I fitted the skirt in late October, around the same time that I refitted the corduroy skirt, and did the rest of the hand sewing sometime in early November.  I put the skirt into my winter rotation pile and eagerly awaited the beginning of December to wear it.  Unfortunately, the skirt is now just this side of big on me.  I have about an inch worth of ease in the waistband, and there is excess fabric around the hips in the front.  

I did attempt to match the plaid on the side seams, but with the loose weave, the fabric wants to go off-grain constantly, so it was really hard to get it to stay lined up, even with careful pinning.  I also had to redo the side seams to take the skirt in 2" all over when I was fitting it, so that made the side seam matching just hopeless.

I guess it isn't too noticeable.  E for effort, I suppose.

I will say that it is a nice soft and squishy flannel, and I do have another dark green sweater that matches the green in the plaid perfectly, plus a plain purple pullover sweater that I think will match as well.  I pulled out this new-to-me merino cardigan this morning when I was feeling cold, and ended up layering another sweater over the top anyway!  It really isn't that cold per se, but it is very damp after two days of steady rain.

I hand-worked the button hole, and stabilized the waist band with Petersham.  I used an orphan brown button from my stash--it came from my great aunt's button box, I think.

The palette of this skirt is probably better suited to my fall rotation, but my beloved Shetland flannel skirt is too big now, and I needed another skirt to round out my closet for this rotation.  It works best with the sweaters in my winter rotation, anyway, so I'm going to go with it.  I expect this will be one of the first skirts to get swapped for the green wool Pendleton skirt that is slightly snug.  I figure this will be too big by the time that skirt fits well.  

The red leaves are really coming off the trees now--they are my favorites.

Just the facts:

Plaid flannel skirt: random yardage from fabric.com, Anne Adams 9481

Purple merino cardigan sweater: Gap

Black cardigan sweater: St. John's Bay via ebay

Boots: B.O.C. (Macy's)

Pinecone Earrings: Willfulmina (etsy)

Wardy Squirrel resin brooch: Acorn and Will

Project 333: Winter

(I have no idea if anyone cares about this process except for me, but I find documenting it here is helpful to me).

I confess, I was fairly eager to switch over to my winter rotation this week.  The temps have dropped down (not super cold, but the house feels cold to me), so I'm craving layers and wool!  I'm excited about the new stuff I've made (three dresses and two skirts), and a few key pieces I bought new (a plaid twill skirt from eShakti, a cowl neck sweater from Macy's, and two merino cardigans from Gap).  

Top left: black cotton pullover sweater, blue shawl collar cardigan

Middle left: purple-brown merino turtleneck, red cotton cardigan, coral cotton cardigan, shawl collar wool/cotton cardigan

Bottom left: plaid flannel skirt (blog post coming soon!), Black Watch plaid skirt, rust corduroy skirt, denim skirt

Right: Boxcar dress, Chambray dress, Midnight sky dress (blog post coming soon!), Peacock Twill dress (blog post coming soon!)

I was also chuffed to discover that several skirts that I'd written off as never fitting again either fit well now or are very close to fitting well!  I included them in my photo line up, even though two of them are still a bit snug through the hips.  I think another five or seven pounds down and they will fit rather well.  I'm listing them in the line up on the understanding that when they fit, several other skirts will probably be too big, so I will swap them out.

Left: 

Plaid Pyjama dress, Axcess pullover cardigan, Tokyo Train Ride dress, green cowl neck sweater

Top right: eShakti plaid flannel twill skirt (this will be a great addition to the fall rotation for next year)

Bottom right: Cotton + Steel Berry Tinsel fabric, for Christmas dress

I still have two more dresses to sew--my Christmas dress and another regular dress for the rotation.  I have them cut out, and just need a couple of mornings to put them together.  Because I made myself sew a bunch of my winter projects in November, I don't feel a lot of pressure to finish these last two right away.  I have enough new stuff to wear, and plenty of ways to mix and match the old.  As we don't celebrate Christmas for more than a month, I will probably be ready for a little something fresh, so I may just wait to sew these up until the winter break at the end of December.  I'll see how I'm feeling--as I said, my energy levels haven't been that great, and I've been a bit more focused on my knitting.

Top left: heavy black cardigan, purple merino cardigan, green merino pullover, blue merino pullover

Middle left: green wool skirt (almost fits!), German wool pleated skirt (almost fits!)

Bottom left: Cotton + Steel Zephyr fabric, for a dress

Right: Plaid flannel vintage skirt (fits again!), red-orange merino cardigan, eShakti black knit dress, eShakti green knit dress

I plan to layer thin long sleeve knit shirts under the short-sleeved dresses, but the shirts are more like undershirts, so I'm not counting them toward the 33.  (I count shirts that I wear as undershirts and outer shirts, but not the handful of shirts I only wear under other things).  I have several knitting projects in progress that I will add to my rotation as I finish them, but this is a good place to start!

*Apologies for atrocious photos--the days have been dimmer than dim and it was hard to get things properly lighted as I was changing everything around.

Project 333: Fall Wrap Up

Monday was the last day of my fall rotation for Project 333, so I thought it would be useful to wrap up my fall rotation and do a separate post for the winter line up.

Far Left: Boxcar dress, eShakti red knit dress, Mesa dress, Green Cookie Book dress

Top Left: black skirt, rust corduroy skirt, denim skirt

Bottom Left: Fat Face blue cardigan, brown Ralph Lauren wool cardigan, green Ramona cardigan, taupe wool H&M cardigan

Middle: Feedsack dress, Chambray dress, Thanksgiving dress, eShakti navy knit dress

Top right: Green and blue stripe breton shirt, rose knit shirt, purple knit shirt, navy knit shirt, rust knit henley

Middle right: Rust lightweight cardigan, navy breton shirt, cream cropped cardigan, navy cotton/cashmere cardigan

Bottom right: Autumn flowers blouse, Water to Wine rayon blouse

My fall rotation ended up being rather fluid, as I am now about 22 pounds down from mid-July and have shrunk out of several garments I started the rotation with.  I did take several things in, and made a few new things, like the denim skirt, right at the end of the rotation, but this is basically where I ended my 3 months on Monday.   The weather was also all over the place this fall, so it was hard to anticipate the proper mix of garments; we had Indian summer well into September, but it got pretty chilly by mid-November and October was constantly up and down with the temps.  There were several garments that only got wearing at one end or the other of the rotation as a result.  I expect my spring rotation will be similarly challenging.

I made a few strategic errors in terms of my sewing projects, as most of what I made during the Papal sewathon would have been much more useful to me at the beginning of September rather than going into October.  With that in mind, I made sure to start working on my winter sewing projects in November rather than leaving it to December and January as I had originally planned.  

There were a couple of makes that ended up not working for this season (the green skirt, Melody blouse and the navy dot and plaid Portrait blouses weren't really right for this palette/season--I'm saving them for spring), and a few things that I shrank out of almost immediately, like the Orangia rayon dress.  I'm still deciding what to do about the garments I made that are now too big.  The ready-to-wear that is too big is going into a ThredUp clean out bag.

I'll also say that there are one or two things that I'm really tired of, and will be happy to put away for a few rotations (I'm looking at you, Mesa dress).  I don't know what to do about that taupe wool cardigan from H&M.  I really like it, it is warm, and has some nice details, but the color doesn't suit me and I feel like it is maybe a little bit too long for my frame.  It has pockets, so it is kind of a nice "house cardigan" so I'll probably keep it for schlubbing around the house--my other house cardigan is starting to show its age.

I'm trying not to make too many decisions about my clothing right now because my shape is changing so fast, I don't know where I'll be by March.  That said, I'm donating anything I didn't wear regularly or just didn't like, and putting everything else away until the next rotation when I can do a massive try-on and reevaluate everything again.

HSM #12 Redo (Blue) & Yarn Along: 1918 Outing Sweater and WIPs

I finally finished the 1918 Outing Sweater! It only took me 11.5 months.  I had originally hoped to finish it in time for the Blue challenge in February (ha!) but obviously that didn't happen with the horrendous winter/sick season we had.  

To be fair, I didn't work on it steadily this year, as I found the going rather tedious at times (garter stitch, garter stitch, and more garter stitch--did I mention it was a lot of garter stitch??)  But!  I did finish the thing.  It is rather cleverly constructed, and while I would have preferred something with a more interesting stitch pattern, it was a fairly straight-forward pattern.  

I realized about three quarters through that it was going to come out too big.  I had added stitches to the hips because I was considerably bigger when I began the project, and was concerned about it being too tight at the bottom.  But then I started this weight loss journey, and everything happened with my throat (and continues to be a problem) and now the sweater is just too big.  

I've also sort of fallen out of love with making costuming pieces for every day wear, and this sweater is quite long on me, both at the bottom and from the shoulder to the mid-bust.  I had to put a pretty handkerchief under the collar gap to keep it modest.  It is period appropriate for the late 1910s (and would have been worn with a blouse in any case), but it looks like a dress on me, and just overwhelms my frame, I think.  I did learn a lot by making it, so I'm glad of the experience.  

Once I realized the sweater wasn't going to fit or suit me, I asked on a 1910s costuming forum if anyone wanted it, and I had several takers immediately.  So Sharon B has this beauty in her hands by now, and I hope she wears it in good health!!

I'm counting this as my second Historical Sew Monthly entry for December: Redo (Blue challenge). 

The Challenge: Redo (Blue)

Fabric: Lion's Brand Wool Ease Yarn in Navy, 7.5 skeins

Pattern: 1918 Outing Sweater Pattern (free pattern)

Year: 1918

Notions: 2 vintage buttons from the stash

How historically accurate is it? Pretty accurate!  I followed the instructions as written.  The only mods I made were to add 10 stitches to the front and back in the bottom section below the ribbing to make it wider through the hips, and I used the same yarn throughout rather than making the collar from white angora as suggested.  

Hours to complete: oodles. 

First worn: November 23, 2015 for photos only

Total cost: $56

And on to other yarn works in progress (and linking with Ginny for Yarn Along)

I've had this sweater pattern for a while now, and after making the Ramona cardigan, I feel quite confident about a top-down raglan sleeve construction.  I really like the fit and feel of raglan sleeves in a knit, so I'm eager to knit this sweater.  I'm planning to use the blue yarn pictured above--it is Wool of the Andes in Sapphire blue worsted.  I've gotten gauge already, so I just need to cast this puppy on.

Next up: The Saucy Librarian sweater in Aurora green, also Wool of the Andes but sport weight.  I'm really enjoying this knit.  It is finer gauge, but still is going by pretty quickly.  It is also top down raglan sleeve construction, and I'm planning to lengthen the sleeves to 3/4 or full length.  The color didn't come out properly in the photos, but it is a lovely forest green with hints of blue and black.  I'm hoping I finish it before the season is over!

I'm farthest along on this next project: the Comfy cardigan.  This is another Knitting Pure and Simple pattern, and I like the pattern well enough.  Again: top down, raglan construction, with an eyelet edge.  I think if I make this pattern again, I would do simple increases instead of the yarn over for the eyelet, but this is fine for this sweater.  This yarn is the same burgundy yarn I started the Rivoli sweater with (and later frogged for a variety of reasons).  

At this point, I just want to use the yarn up already.  I probably wouldn't purchase it again, but it feels good to stash bust it.  It is a soft cotton/acrylic mix, but it sheds like crazy and I'm a little concerned about the sweater holding its shape.  I guess we shall see.  I'm about half way down the body of the sweater, and then sleeves, neck band and button bands to do.  I'm doing long sleeves, I think (or at least 3/4 length), and will probably construct them similarly to the Ramona.  I think it will make a nice addition to my fall rotation.

Finally: my Hitchhiker scarf!  This is kind of fun, and something easy to pick up and put down.  I don't have a deadline for this scarf, as I just kind of like it as a smaller project.  It is interesting to see how the striping is coming out in garter stitch.  I'm curious if it would look different in stockinette.  The pattern is surprisingly easy to "read" in the knitting, and almost mindless (but not numbingly so).  It is my first time working with actual sock yarn and I kind of like it.

My ravelry page isn't up to date with any of these projects, so I won't link it here, but I'll try to get it updated soon.

I've also got two more books on my kindle that I'm working through: Extreme Ownership and Unbeatable Mind.  Extreme Ownership is pretty good; Unbeatable Mind has been a tough slog.

As for reading, I'm still working on that background research for the spec-ops character I'm developing, as well as Rod Dreher's How Dante Can Save Your Life.  As I wrote yesterday, there is much to consider in the book.

I also started watching The Man In the High Castle on Amazon, and it is very well done.  I read a book in that vein a number of years ago that took a similar tack (the Nazis won, but didn't occupy America--Joseph Kennedy had won the election in the 1930s, and I think there wasn't a war between America and Germany in that alt. history).  I love those kinds of intellectual thought experiments.

I'm two thirds of the way through season three of Person of Interest (my second go-through) and I'm still gutted by season 3--so much happens in 3 that is so hard!!  I'm eager to see where season five takes us in the spring.

Go see Ginny for more great yarn work!

Talking Tuesday: Dante and the Image of the Soul

I finally broke open Rod Dreher's latest book, How Dante Can Save Your Life, and am finding it surprisingly accessible.  I found a lot of his blog writing on Dante to be a bit beyond me, but the book is very readable.  Another reader noted that it forms a kind of capstone to his previous two books, Crunchy Cons and The Little Way of Ruthie Leming.  How Dante Can Save Your Life is not an exegetical text--the story picks up where The Little Way of Ruthie Leming left off, and goes from there.  It is an intensely personal story, but I'm finding much to apply to my own life and approach.  I find myself dog-earing pages pretty often, to go back and think about them again.  

 

I'm nearly half-way through the book after a few nights of reading, and have just finished the chapter on Medusa, and the ways that Dante uses imagery to make his point about our basic sinful nature. The following passage stood out to me last night:

"Dante's purpose is to demonstrate to the reader the disfiguring nature of sin.  What they chose to be in life, they became in the afterlife.  When Dante shows his readers the terrifying punishments of the damned in hell and the penitents in purgatory, he is trying to shock us into recognizing what our souls look like when we sin.

For Dante, the power of images is supremely important.  Dante shows us like nobody else that good and evil are not abstractions but that they take particular forms.  An image is never just an image; it always points to something else. 

In the realm of Dante's afterlife, images are reality.  The pilgrim's movement toward unity with God is measured by his increasing ability to see things as they really are.  Believing is seeing.  Not so in the mortal life, when images can serve as a veil hiding the true nature of the evil men do."

~Rod Dreher, How Dante Can Save Your Life, New York: Regan Arts, 2015, pp 107-108.



I'm a strongly visual person, and images have often spoken truth to me.  I find much to think about in movies and paintings and find I have to be careful about what I watch, as it tends to stay with me. (Dreher quotes Nieztche at the end of the chapter in saying: "Be careful when you stare too long into the abyss, for the abyss stares back at you"--a useful reminder indeed that what we put into ourselves becomes part of us).  Icons in particular are very powerful to me, and I've had some otherworldly experiences with them.

Those of us on the Old Calendar have just begun the Nativity Fast, the 40 days of preparation before the Church celebrates the birth of Christ.  I think it is useful to keep in mind the ways that imagery can obfuscate sin, or make it seem benign or even appealing, but also the ways that imagery can point us toward God, and prepare our hearts to receive Him.  Like many things, imagery is a tool that can be used to to separate us from or bind us to God.  In the case of Dante, it is a good reminder that what we seek after in this life, we shall find in the next.