Get Over It: Revisiting Wildwood

Please forgive a rather navel-gazing post.  I sometimes find it helpful to think out loud, so to speak, and this is my thinking space, so...

I will be the first to admit that I tend toward black-and-white thinking.  I've learned to see and appreciate gray areas as I've grown older and my life has gotten more complicated, but I do tend to a certain rigidity, particularly toward myself.  I have some perfectionist tendencies, and I'm pretty hard on myself, and find it hard to give myself grace.  

I also have a tendency to either give up on things too quickly, or, perversely, to hang on long past the point of reason.  I think some combination of these traits in me are part of why I am constantly overanalyzing my sewing, or my clothing, or both.  Sometimes it works in my favor: I can easily give up on things that don't fit well, or don't suit my coloring, or just didn't work out for one reason or another.  Sewing is a constant learning curve, and like the craftsman, I try to learn from my mistakes and do it better next time, to get closer to the image in my head.

The problem for me at the moment is that I don't have a good image in my head.  Or rather, I don't have a coherent image in my head.  I kind of like some of the lagenlook stuff, in part because it would suit my body for the half of the month that it does.not.behave, and in part because I just like the look of it.  I love the late 1910s, but not for warm weather.  I still like the fit and flare silhouette of the 1930s/1940s, and that is pretty much what I wear, but I'm still trying to figure out how to to dress my changing body well in a way that feels good and age-appropriate to me.

I need to get over myself.

I've made a lot of things this spring and early summer; some were complete failures, some were just so-so, and some were really good additions to my closet.  I think because I sew them myself, I have this feeling like everything should be a win, but even with ready-to-wear, that is rarely the case.  I hardly buy RTW any more (except for accessories like cardigans or undergarments), so I forget this.

I know it probably seems like my closet must be bursting at the seams, but it really isn't.  My tiny Victorian closet (4' long x 13" deep) can only accomodate 14 hangers at most, and the hangers can only hang front to back, so I'm naturally limited.  I'm trying to think about my wardrobe more seasonally.  It is tempting for me to want to make things that I can wear year round, but the truth is that I don't wear certain things year round.  I wear some colors in summer and others in winter, and generally don't mix them.  I have some pieces that can be worn three seasons, but almost nothing that is year round.  And that is okay.

I'm trying to be better about rotating things in and out of my closet with the seasons.  Take this dress, for example.  I made it in May, thinking it was going to be this great summer staple--a Tokyo Train Ride dress for the warm months--but it just hasn't been.  It fits pretty well, the color suits my complexion well, and I do really like the print.  It light weight enough for really disgustingly hot weather,  but I just haven't wanted to wear it in the heat.  I was almost ready to pass it on (sorry, Donna!) but then I stopped and took a beat.  It is actually a great spring dress, for those days when I want something lighter in color, to wear with boots and a sweater.  Or those weird days in May where you wear sandals and a cardigan and ditch layers as the day wears on.  Which is okay.  

I've made some great summer dresses as well, and I'm starting to get a better feel for what I really do wear in the high heat and humidity.  For whatever reason, it is hard for me to project myself into the heat when I'm sewing out of season, so I think the lesson of this dress is that I need to sew for the season I'm in, rather than the season I'm going into.  So even though I'm crushing on fall colors right now, and dreaming of my fall projects, I'm going to hold off starting any of them until September at the earliest.  I still have a few summer projects I'd like to finish.

The keen-eyed will notice that I've ditched the buttons--I like it much better without them.  I also like it better with these more neutral low-contrast sandals.  I do think it could benefit from a slightly shorter hem (which I may get to one of these days), and I made the unfortunate mistake of photographing it several days during May when my middle was VERY bloated, and seeing those pictures made me remember how I felt like I was busting out of the dress all day, but in reality, it looks fine, and I'm trying to accept that there are just some garments that are only going to fit/look good for a small portion of every month.  I'm wearing a lot less jewelry these days, and my hair routine is very basic right now; I think that plays a role in how I wear my clothes as well, and I'm trying to be sensitive to these changes when I plan new projects.  

It has been hard for me to give up a very focused 1940s vintage look--I liked it very much, and felt very good in my clothing, but my body was a little more cooperative on a daily basis when I started with it all, and I felt less old.  It was a lot of fun to play with accessories and hair flowers and different hair styles.  But then my hair started falling out again, my gastroparesis has really flared this year, the weight has piled on, and I'm just busier as the kids are getting older.  Just life stuff.  In Janet Stephens' video recreating the hairstyles of Faustina the Younger, she notes that the elaborate hairstyle sported by the Empress as a young woman changed over time to a very simple braided chignon.  She speculates that it has to do with running a household with a large number of small children, but also a reflection of the Stoicism embraced by her husband.  As I ponder how best to navigate our post modern life, to live a simple life, to try to reclaim a premodern, pre-consumer mindset, and everything that goes along with that, as well as running a house with many small children, I suppose my own aesthetic is bound to change and simplify as well.

Outfit details:

Wildwood dress: me-made (pardon the discontinuity of photos--I had taken photos of this dress three times in the last two months)

Earrings: hand me down from my mom

Sandals: Naturalizer via ebay