I've written before about Peter King's excellent book on the anti-modern condition; this week I ran across its antithesis: Oprah's O Magazine. In the last page editorial, Oprah shares her creed, which is all about change, and making life what you want (see quote below). I find this whole approach to life very flawed, generally leading to unhappiness and anxiety. What if we approached things in terms of stasis, continuity, stolidity? What if we saw things in terms of healing our soul-wounds instead of covering them over with window dressing? How would making ourselves rooted in our communities, rooted in ourselves make for a more contiguous, contented existence? I think happiness is one of those ephemeral modern terms that is dangerous to throw around, but contentment is a state of being that I can get behind. It is, as C.S. Lewis noted, no looking around the bend, no seeking after something new, something shiny, something fleeting.
"We live in a state of constant change. Whether or not we're paying attention, the process is always happening. Even people who can't see it in themselves witness change daily in their children or in others around them.
Life is about recalibrating. About continually asking yourself: What do I have to do to get where I need to be? How do I create the life I want?"
~Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, September 2014, page 160
I would argue that a better way to frame this set of questions is not about movement and change, but rather stasis and contentment. Or, to put it another way, How do I learn to be content with all that I have? How do I live the God-pleasing life? How do I become more like Christ?
I don't mean to suggest that the Christian life should be one without change; quite the opposite. If God is working in us, and we are cooperating with that work, we are changed to become more like Christ. The change that is wrought in us by God is one that is gradual, and slow, whereas the post-modern world is filled with frenetic change, pushing us to constantly remake ourselves into something different, something new. I admit to being as susceptible to the pushes and pulls of post modern change-filled thinking as the next person: perhaps this dress will make me happy, perhaps this diet will make my life better and my weight healthy, maybe this thing or that thing will fix what is wrong. But the truth is, no material thing is going to fix the soul-wound in us. Only God can fill that void, fix that brokenness, heal that wound. The movement of the soul has nothing to do with the things of this world; it strikes me that Oprah's change-filled life has much to do with the material and earthly world and little to do with the spiritual. Hers is also a very human-centric view, which is to say, God has nothing to do with it. Our only hope for real and lasting change, that which changes our hearts and minds, is through God. We cannot do it on our own.
Yes. If anything else that I need to learn it is that Christ heals and that I can't do it on my own! It is a terrible thing to think we are in charge of our own happiness but I guess that is what Americans have been trying to do since they began here... thanks for giving us the pause to think on this.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! We are much too frantic about change. Constant change in our culture equates with never being content with what you have. I've been trying to work on contentment. Any change I make needs to be in the direction of the center line, not off in the falsely shining distance.
ReplyDeleteI struggled for years to "be content," mostly because I kept getting told that by others who thought they were more spiritual and holy than I. For someone who makes five times as much as our family does, that instruction is so easy to give.
ReplyDeleteOh, you only have half the amount of food your family needs to keep from going hungry? Be content anyway.
You live in substandard housing that isn't even up to code or fit for animals to live in, because that's all you can get and it takes almost all your income just for that? Be content anyway. That's the Orthodox thing to do.
No way!
I finally stopped trying to be satisfied with far too little, whether that's "the Orthodox way" or not.
"What do I need to do to get the kind of life I want?" is exactly the question I needed to ask, and I should have asked it long ago. We needed to triple our income just to make ends meet (and I'm just about the most frugal woman on the planet, so please don't think it's because any money gets wasted around here).
I've managed to double our income (at least until my health fails again and I have to quit this job and go back to trying to make money with only my home businesses). Including the home businesses, I work from 4 am to 6 or 8 pm every day but Sunday now.
It's still not enough income; we're not "there" yet, and the income from my new job could go away at any time, but it's progress. It's change, and change is good. It would be nice if more of the "increased income" kind of change is on the way.
I think there is a big difference between accepting less than basic human needs for food and shelter and learning to be content in a sea of want and material abundance. Poverty is misery, no doubt about it, but there is also something soul-destroying about the constant wanting in our post modern society. We don't even know the difference between needs and wants any more, and I think that is what I was trying to get at.
DeleteI'm sorry you are struggling so much financially and that your struggles have caused others to judge you and to make you feel judged spiritually. I hope you can find some peace.