What Lies Beneath, Part 2

At the risk of inviting close scrutiny of my chest as well as a cascade of TMI, I think it time to talk about that which most women cannot do without in the modern era: the brassiere.  

In 2016, I made a shift and stays.  The stays were an interesting foray into historical undergarments, and while I learned a lot of new-to-me construction techniques, I also learned a lot about historical visual cultural norms and how undergarments are used to conform to them (or not).  

Two summers ago, I started making my own underwear.  Admittedly, it started in a fit of rage sewing, but I've never regretted the journey, and am completely happy with that part of my wardrobe.  It is amazing to me how much things like well-fitting underwear and bras can make a difference to one's days.

Around the same time, I started thinking about bra making, as it seems that a lot of sewists get around to making them sooner or later, and RTW bras give me fits.  I've never really had one that fit well, and as I've gotten older, the problems just multiply. 

For a bit of TMI, here's part of the issue.  Almost every bra on the market is sloped from a single model from the 1970s who had high perky breasts that were a full C-cup.  Anyone whose anatomy differs from that (which is like, almost everyone) is going to have a hard time finding a good-fitting bra without selling a kidney to afford it.  Then there is the issue of bra-fitters who try to sell you bras that don't, you know, fit.  I've been fitted several times in nicer bra shops, and never once walked out with a bra that fit really well.

After nursing four babies, I have deflated water balloons, droopy hound dog ears, call it what you want, but I've never been perky, nor have I ever been a C-cup except while nursing.  I'm between an A and a B cup, but I've never yet met an A or B cup that fit me right.  I usually end up in a 36B to split the difference but it's still not great.  It's almost impossible to find a 36A or 38A.  I also can't stand underwires because most of them don't fit me right or dig into the tissue at the sides such that I end up with hormone issues from the pressure.  I've been doing research on bra construction and fitting, and it was interesting to read that wires can come in different shapes and widths.  I have damage on one side of my right breast from a massive infection that was improperly treated when Piglet was newborn and it still bothers me at times.

 

Last summer, I tried a Pepper bra.  It was more expensive than my usual, but I figured if it fit, it would be worth it.  The company specializes in smaller cup sizes relative to band width, and while it fit pretty well, I wouldn't say it is the best thing I ever wore.  They do carry that rare beast, the 38A bra, with an A cup that is actually an A, so the fit is better than many.  I took the underwires out, which helped a lot.  But the whole thing is synthetic, which is not ideal in our summer climate.

For the past two years or so, I've been wearing Kalon bralettes, which are...okay, but are made of nylon so they don't wear well.  The foam pads inside get funny with washing and the overall shape isn't super wonderful.  They aren't very cool in the heat/humidity.  Before the Kalons, there was a long procession of ill-fitting wired and wireless jobbies.  (I had a couple wired ones that actually squeaked with movement.  Just, no.)  The Kalons like the best bad option at this point.  I'm constantly adjusting the dumb things. In my opinion, like underwear, a good bra shouldn't remind me of its existence.

So I'm trying a bunch of different ready-to-wears to see what will give a better silhouette but not drive me bananas.  I'm experimenting with smaller bands with larger cups (like 32 D or 34 C).  For reference, my underbust is 33, full bust is 37.5 and upper bust 35.5.  Going by "standard" bra sizing, I should fit a 36B just fine (it doesn't) but a 32D might also work.  I'm skeptical, but keeping an open mind.

I also made a Jordy bralette using a kit from Emerald Erin.  She has an etsy shop and an independent website with the same offerings.  I am totally impressed with her patterns and great customer service!  I wanted something that was mostly natural fibers in the cups, and had a less structured fit given my underwire woes.  Making it was an interesting experience, and a lot easier than I expected.  I used some leftover Laguna jersey and thin cotton batting, although I might try a thin bra foam on a future iteration. 

I don't have the fit right yet--I need to adjust the sides of the cups so they don't gape and shorten the band-- but it is very comfortable and was a good entrée into bra-making.  I have findings for two more, so I can tweak the fit some too.  There are so many pattern options out there, it is hard to choose, but I'm looking at some kits on etsy since buying ala carte is overwhelming to me right now.  The Cloth Habit has a lot of great information about bra construction and fitting and I've learned a lot from reading her blog posts.   

I'm trying to have an open mind about materials and styles, because you never know what is going to end up fitting and feeling great. 

Winter embrace

Flannel is a beautifully warm and cozy cold weather fabric.  It lacks the warmth of wool (unless the flannel in question is wool, but that is a rare beast in the wild).  In cotton, however, flannel is a close second.  Oddly, most of the ready-to-wear garments in flannel are pajamas or made in plaid (or both!) so it can also be a challenge to match fabric to day wear pattern.  Never stopped me before, so I figured I might as well just march into the unknown.

I mentioned that I accidentally picked up a couple skirt lengths of cotton flannel at Joann when I visited my parents at the end of November.  (Honestly!  I went in for thread and sewing needles.  But when the perfect shade of green in cotton flannel is on sale, well...)

I dare you to walk by that fabric and not swoon at the perfection of the shade.

I'm usually a one or two-trick pony when it comes to sewing for myself.  I find something I like and make a lot of versions of it.  What can I say?  I likes what I likes.  (Although I'm getting into sewing undergarments and seeing the value of trying different patterns).

So it goes with my Free Range skirt hack.  It's funny--this skirt comes out differently every time I make it, depending on the fiber substrate.  In Brussels linen or silky noil, it has a swish and drape to it that more structured fabrics don't have, but each fabric type I've tried, I appreciate different aspects of the finished garment, to say nothing of the comfortable waistband!

It's a thing to realize I've been squishing myself into hard waistbands all these years when I could have been enjoying style and comfort.  It's not that the hard waistband skirts don't fit right--they do--but my waist changes a LOT during the day (thank you, gastroparesis).  What feels great in the morning often doesn't by suppertime or has rolled in unflattering ways due to my exceptionally short waist.  It's nice to feel good in my clothes all day long.  

So, not much to note about this skirt but for two things.  The three panel construction means there are several places to let out or take in, depending on the type of fit I'm looking for, and the 5/8" seam allowance means there is plenty of room to change the fit.  In drapey fabrics, a straight size 12, with all the seams sewn at 5/8" is perfect.  In more structured fabrics, I'm finding a bit more finesse is needed. 

Take one.

I originally sewed this one exactly like the Brussels linen and silky noil, but when I wore it, it felt and looked too tight across the hips.  Sausage-like even.  (See pics with pink sweater).  

The waist and sweep were fine, however, so I decided to curve out the seam allowance on the back seam of the side panel and the center back from 5/8" at the waist to about 3/8" and then curve back in to 5/8" at the hem.

Smiling with irony because I can't take a normal stride!

Worked a treat!  I'm totally happy with the fit now, and find it exceeding comfortable and cozy. 

 

I've also found that doing the waistband construction like the Elemental skirt doesn't exactly work, especially in heavier fabrics.  After some trial and error, my preferred method of attaching the elastic is to sew the waistband facing at the stated 5/8" seam allowance, then divide the waistband into quarters with pins, sew the elastic into a circle, divide into quarters, and attach to the edge of the seam allowance with a wide zig-zag.  The first time I tried it, I ended up with visible stitching on the facing inside, but I've fixed that so it doesn't show at all once the facing is attached at the bottom.

Making this skirt also informed how I approached some skirts I've yet to share here, but will as I'm able.  My kids are on winter break now, so my time is not my own at the moment.  Hopefully I won't get too backlogged!

Rustbelt

Grief is a funny thing.  It smacks into you with the force of a high speed train, but then lingers in the wreckage, a low pulsing underneath the debris, waiting to seep out into the light.  And it does seep, from time to time, taking over your being until the dust settles over it again. 

It takes a long time to clean up after a wreck. 

Things with my dad are not great right now; he developed a MRSA infection after a procedure and is on heavy-duty antibiotics and 4 liters of oxygen in an isolation unit.  His chemo is on hold until they can get the infection under control.  

My baby goddaughter and her parents are moving to faraway Texas this month, and today is probably the last time we'll see the family for some time.  My kids are all wrecked about it since they love her like a sister and are eager baby minders.  I'm so sad to lose this family from our parish I almost can't bear it.  

My sense of taste and smell is still off, almost two years after my C-19 infection, and I'm trying to make peace with the reality that it may never come back to normal.  It makes my already complicated food life that much more difficult. 

Wreckage.  Debris.  Dust.  

I was reminded this morning, however, that we should not place our hope in outcomes.  Our hope is the Lord's presence in the journey, not the destination.   So I will straighten my bowed shoulders, try to work out the kinks in my stress-knotted neck and back muscles, and hope in the journey.  Or try to, anyway.

 

I mentioned a few posts back that I finished my Mackworth sweater right before Thanksgiving.  This was my second attempt at colorwork, and I thoroughly enjoyed the yoke. My floats came out more even too; there is only a tiny bit of puckering in the first two charts.

I won't lie, the body was a bit tedious, and I spent many a swim lesson this summer slogging through the miles of stockinette in the round.  It is always tricky to get the body length right for my short torso--somewhere between 10-11" from the underarm is good, but even 1/2" too long or short and it looks odd. 

I'm very happy with the length and thrilled with the fit of it.  I think it blocked out at just over 10 inches.  My only complaint is that the amount of main color yarn needed was vastly overstated--I have 4.5 balls left.  Never fear, I'm sure I'll figure out something to do with them!

In my experience, that happens a lot with knitting patterns.  Kate Davies is the only designer I've found to consistently get the yardage estimation right across the sizes.   

As I wrote previously, this silky noil skirt is getting much more wear since I shortened it a bit.  I am very happy with the fit and sweep of it, and am glad to find it more or less works for chilly temps, as long as I pair it with wool tights.

Another maker that I follow wrote recently that the past two years have changed who she is so much that some of her previous makes no longer suit her, even though she finds herself in a much happier place overall.  She said there is a little bit of sadness in having to rediscover who she is with regard to her making. 

 

It's been a while since I did a complete wardrobe overhaul, but this fall has sort of put me there without my having set out to do so.  Some pieces I've been wearing for a long time just don't look or feel right on me this year.  Maybe they always looked off, but I felt good in them at the time.  Some makes or thrifted finds are coming to the end of their life span--the fabric is faded and starting to fray and crease, or it just looks tired.  

In a way, there is some relief in taking things out of my wardrobe that have been worn to pieces, don't fit, or make me feel nuts.  There is some satisfaction in wearing soft waistbands most days and feeling okay about it as a style choice.  It is lovely to finally have a knit top pattern that fits exactly the way I want it to, and I don't have to tuck it in for it to look nice.  I've discovered that my hot flashes are easier to manage if my tops are untucked and a bit less fitted, paired with easily removable layers. 

 

My body has changed (and continues to change as I am getting older), and how I move through the world has changed.  Mostly for the better, but there is still some dislocation in having to redefine the boundaries of the self.  Perhaps there always will be.  And perhaps it is silly to figure those things out through clothes, but that's where I live right now.  So be it. 

The dress equilvalent of a hug

 

Lately, I've been on a Spooks kick.  I watched the whole series about 10 years ago when it was on (all 10 seasons!) but wanted to revisit it, so I restarted the whole thing sometime in November.  It was a nice (if slightly paranoid) accompaniment to my stress sewing--ha!  It was also an interesting window into world politics over the past 20 years, since the show first aired in the wake of 9/11 and dove head first into current events.  

Things I learned from Spooks:

1. No character is safe, and the show runners are usually killed off after three seasons.

2.  If a female heads up Section D in MI-5, she dies in a season.  If a guy does it, he gets three seasons, but all his female colleagues will die in some heroic and horrible way during that time.

3.  Americans are the worst allies ever.

4.  Trust no one.

5.  Harry Pearse will always have your back because he knows where all the bodies are buried (literally!)

That said, Rupert Penry-Jones lasted longer than some (almost four seasons) and I love his Adam Carter. (Although, good grief, his character went through the absolute wringer).  So I've been watching some other work he's done in more recent years.  Whitechapel is a British police procedural.  In it, he plays an Detective Inspector in London's East End who suffers from OCD.  I enjoy the interplay of his character (DCI Chandler) and the more earthy Sargent Miles, played by Phil Davis to absolute perfection.  

I also watched a recent movie of his, Getting to Know You.  It's a quirky indie that is billed as a comedy, but I wouldn't describe it as such.  It's more complex than that.  I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, given the premise and the reviews.  The plot is a bit thin, but I really loved the texture and nuance that Penry-Jones and Natasha Little brought to the script.  And the ending was perfection.  

Moving on to the sewing portion of our program, I made a dress earlier this week.  The end.  

Just kidding. 

Shortly before Thanksgiving, Peggy at Sew House Seven had a sale that included fabric, and I couldn't resist the wool-cotton blend knit fabric that she used to make a Toaster sweater.  I bought a yard and a half, intending to make a Coco top from it, but when it arrived, I wondered if I couldn't get a whole Coco dress out of it.  

 

Turns out I could!  I had to go with 3/4 length sleeves, trim the sweep very slightly, and only add 2" of length (3" would have been better, but this is fine with heavy tights), but I squeaked it out!  I might go back and add extra long cuffs to make long sleeves, as I've had good luck with that mod on some Coco tops this week (pics to come). 

 

 

I made a size 4, which seems to be the right size for me overall, and sewed the shoulders and sleeve heads at 5/8" seam allowance as written, but made the sleeve/side seams 3/8" to give it some extra ease. 

I did simple turned hems on the neckline, cuffs, and hem, and like that very much.  The stitches really disappear into this thick fabric.

I'm struggling a bit with my body right now, feeling like a stranger in my skin.  I suppose it is my Nativity Fast podvig or something, but it is discouraging. 

The hives from the mask have turned into eczema, so I'm scratching everything from the neck up constantly and taking high doses of antihistamines and steroid cream.  Oy.  Still worth the trip to see my family, though, and I'd do it again tomorrow if I could.  Preferably with this dress in my suitcase.  

But this dress is so comfortable and soft and warm and such a nice addition to my cool weather closet.  Like adding a hug into my wardrobe somehow.  (And crucially, my husband loves it, so there's that).

*My dad is back in hospital following a post-bronchoscopy infection ahead of his third chemo treatment at Mayo.  The chemo has been pushed to next week.  He's stable on oxygen, although very tired from all the coughing. His latest scans are encouraging, however, and we continue to live in hope and prayer.  

Monochrome

The cold weather is definitely here and I'm a happy hobbit, since we've established that I should really live in the tundra. My garden is mostly ready for winter, and I spent a day last week sweeping and composting, although I'll have to do another round sometime this month, as more leaves have come off the surrounding trees, and a few annuals have finally packed it in for the year.  I saved and dried most of the marigold blooms this year; I may plant a few next spring and see what I get.  I like seeing the little bowl of dried yellow flowers on my counter.

 

I'm starting work on a stack of flannel I bought at Joann when I visited my parents two weeks ago.  I went in quick a minute for thread and came out with three skirt lengths of flannel (and the thread I went in for).  Oops. 

 In my defense, I'm not into hard waistbands right now, so even thought my thrifted wool skirts have a bit of elastic in the sides, they isn't quite as comfortable as my Free Range skirt hack. I've also had in mind to replace the lining on the wool ones anyway, as the synthetic lining they came with is very static-prone and drives me bananas. 

'Nuff about that.  I shortened my silky noil spruce skirt as the tea length was not working for me, and decided to try it as a two-piece dress with the Remy Raglan I've been wearing a lot this fall.  Generally speaking, if I want to wear a dress, I just wear a dress, but I'm sort of liking the two piece monochrome look.  I wore my beet top and skirt together a few times this fall and liked that too.

I've gotten a lot of wear out of both pieces this fall, particularly after shortening the skirt.  My Mackworth sweater came off the drying blocks last week and I wore it with this skirt; it was just the thing (pics to come). 

Not much else to say about this outfit, since I've already posted about each piece separately. 

I said to my husband yesterday that I feel like I'm living five days every day right now.  It's not so much that I am too busy, it is just that each day feels overfull somehow.  Probably the fast talking at the moment, so I'd better get on with things.

That was inevitable...

You all knew this was going to happen, right?  That I couldn't leave it alone?  That I would fix the plaid matching on the sides of my flannel skirt?

Right.  I went (by myself!) to visit my parents over the Thanksgiving weekend.  It was the first time I've been away from my children for more than 24 hours, so that was kind of strange, but it was super fun and great to hang out with my family for 2 days without my kids, so there's that.  My sisters and I sang a couple of songs for my dad on Sunday night--not too badly for scant practice beforehand!  I'll spare you the video.  😉

The trip was SO worth the major hives I have on my face, scalp, and neck from the N95 mask I wore the whole time (probably some undisclosed latex).  I took the flannel skirt along and wore it but the misaligned sides really bugged me, and I figured it wouldn't take that much to fix it.  

I unpicked the sides and the waist facing and realigned it on the darker stripes (it's not perfectly symmetrical color-wise, but it is visually lined up, which is what I was going for).  I decided to cut a bemberg facing to reduce bulk on the waistline, and while I did accomplish that, I'm still undecided about whether I like it.  

Anyway, it didn't take that long to unpick and re-sew, and I only lost about an inch of depth on the pockets (which were deep to start with).  The skirt is slightly shorter, but I also kept the 1.5" hem, so if I wanted it longer, I could make the hem shallower.  All in all, a good fix!