Yarn Along: April

~knitting~

I have three projects on needles right now (why just have one when you can have three?)  

The first is the emerald Stoker cowl sweater I started last month.  I'm about half way through the second sleeve and the body is finished and seamed at the shoulders.  I'll have a ton of seaming to do quite soon!  It's been a relatively quick knit, but I probably won't get to wear it this season.

The second is my very-slow-going Lightweight Pullover.  Honestly, all this stockinette in the round on small needles is very boring to me.  I'm thinking of pulling it out and starting something else, except I really like the pattern, and I'm pretty sure the finished sweater will be a useful one for me.

The final project is a gray beret that I'm making with some Swish yarn I bought a couple of years ago for no particular purpose.  I'm hoping to get the sizing right on this one.

~reading~

Lenten reading, mostly.

Father Stephen Freeman's book, Everywhere Present, which is a wonderfully deep little book on re-enchanting our world.  It is a more down-to-earth book about some of the things Charles Taylor and Matthew B. Crawford have written (and about which I have written at length).  I enjoy Fr. Stephen's writing style very much, as well as his very down-to-earth approach.  I'm very interested in spiritual writing that speaks to me where I live, and Fr. Freeman's book certainly does.

I also picked up An Inner Step Toward God again, after having abandoned the book half-way through two Lents ago.  It is wonderful as well.  The late Father Alexander Men is clearly in the weeds with people in their spiritual lives, and I appreciate that.  His personal prayers (reprinted in the middle of the book) are so beautiful.

I'm also reading (in small bites) St. John of Kronstadt's My Life in Christ, but it is slow going because of how the book is formatted.  Every little piece is small and digestible, but the book has no chapter breaks, so it feels like you never get anywhere with it.

I have some other books on marriage and family waiting in the wings, as well as a boat-load of research on the Saxon period to start combing through to develop the next book.

~watching~

BBC history documentaries on YouTube.  I've watched one on pre-historic Britain (in four parts), one on the Plantagenet family of Britain (in three parts), and a brilliant series with Lucy Worsley on domestic history (in four parts) that dovetails very nicely with my earlier reading of Judith Flanders and Elizabeth Wayland Babour.  Dr. Worsley's documentaries are fun and informative--I really enjoy her!  (Fair warning: there is a bit of inaccurate information about personal hygiene in the Tudor/Stuart period; Ruth Goodman has discussed the topic at length, as well as done period experiments on it.  But it was a minor quibble).  Plus an older documentary on the Saxon period.

I also saw the Oscar-nominated Darkest Hour this week and enjoyed it very much.  All the performances were stellar, and Gary Oldman deserved every nomination he got.  I'm planning to show it to the kids soon, since they are so interested in Churchill and this period of time.

Boo is also really into Richard III right now, so I showed him the documentary about the King in the Carpark (how they found his body) and he is working his way through the same documentary series I saw on the Plantagenets.  Piglet is playing the Dauphin in a scaled down production of Henry V at school later this spring and so we've been talking a bit about that period of time too.

~book news~

I'm sending out queries to agents now (almost no publishers accept direct submissions these days) and have received three rejections so far.  I'm sanguine about the process and expect a lot of rejections, so that is okay.  I sent out another round of queries this morning, and am starting to hear back from beta readers, so that is all to the good!

And a reminder for anyone who likes a historical story, my first book, Deliverance, is available through Amazon, both in paperback and kindle format.

Linking with Ginny for Yarn Along!

Wool Crepe Everyday Skirt

Let me tell you a tale of bottle green wool crepe.  When Sunni at a Fashionable Stitch shut down her fabric store, she had a great sale on her inventory to get rid of it.  This included a wonderful bottle green wool crepe that she had used to make a Hollyburn skirt.  At the time, I had recently made a Hollyburn, and thought I'd like a wool one too.  

The pattern is very fabric hungry, so I got the 3 yards it requires.  By the time the fabric arrived, I realized I didn't like the Hollyburn on me at all (too much volume!) and the crepe languished in my stash.  I'd pull it out occasionally, look at it and think about what to make with it, but I always put it back, the cost of the fabric a deterrent to casual use.

After doing some sketching on my Body Model croquis, I got interested in the idea of a winter jumper.  There are a lot of patterns available for pinafores right now, but my sketches were along the lines of a sleeveless Washi, so I decided to work with what I had.  *cue ominous music*  I squeezed a half bodice lining out of some rayon bemberg remnant and set to work.  The result was horrid.  So horrid in fact that I can't bring myself to show you a picture of it on my body, so you get to see it on a loveseat in my living room.  Ugh.  

I threw it in the naughty corner and sulked about the whole thing for a bit.  After I thought more rationally about it, I decided that I should make what I had originally intended for the fabric: a skirt.  I had cut my Washi carefully enough to preserve yardage (the fabric is 60" wide) and so had more than enough left over to cut an Everyday skirt.  The drape of the wool crepe seemed a poor fit with a more fitted pencil skirt, even though I'm really into slim skirts right now.  I took apart the original garment and stored it with my scraps in case I try it on a pencil skirt at some point.

I ordered additional bemberg to line it, since I figured it would make for a nicer finished skirt and set to work.  I remembered that lining my orange wool skirt was kind of a pain, and this time was no different.  The problem is the waist band construction isn't done in one piece.  It is clever for the insertion of the elastics, but it makes putting in a lining very tricky.  I also ran out of dark green thread and had to wait for more to arrive, only to find that when it arrived, it was slightly lighter than my previous green thread (even though they were supposed to be the same) and shows more on the hem and top stitching.  I stitched in the ditch on the waistband, and the gathering around the elastics hides it in the back, but the hem is rather obviously a different color.  I may take out the hem and blind stitch it instead.

That said, even though this was a tortuously slow make (more than 2 weeks start to finish because of waiting for supplies and time to sew), I think I like the finished skirt.  It isn't as warm as I thought it would be, but I think it will be a great spring/fall skirt. 

I did a 1" petersham interfaced waistband again, but also did a 1" elastic in the back.  I may end up taking that out and putting in the double line of elastics as on the spice cake skirt, since I like the fit better.  This one still feels slightly too big on me even though I've cinched it and cinched it.  1" braided elastic behaves so differently from 1/2" braided elastic and I don't really understand why.  It is 10" or less at this point and still feels too big.

  I also did the same pleated pattern as on the spice cake skirt and I really like it.  And even though the lining was a serious pain in the patootie, I'm glad it is there, because it just makes the skirt feel more luxe and professional.  That hem, tho.  I'm definitely going to fix it.

So while the make is a successful one, and I'm glad to have it in my closet, I need a little space from the process of making it before I'm ready to really wear it.  (Apologies for monotonous styling decisions--I took all the photos for this week's makes on the weekend and couldn't be bothered to completely change my clothes again.  Looks good with this shirt anyway!)

Rayon Staple Dress: A Journey

Right.  So here's a dress I'm still not sure about.  As part of my quest to find a TNT dress pattern for this season of my life, I had a dig through my pattern stash and remembered I had the Staple Dress from April Rhodes.  I'd never made it because I bought it when I was making Dottie Angel frocks all the time and it seemed too similar.  (Also, I tried to modify my DA pattern once on a rayon dress to mimic the look and let's just say it didn't go well).

So it was with fear and trembling that I embarked on this endeavour.  I have some rayon in my stash from last year that was from Pat Bravo's Indie Folk line.  It is gorgeous, but I don't want to use it on just anything.  Plus, I find it is hard to find patterns that marry up well with rayon challis. 

I was playing around with various options while sketching, and while I didn't ultimately combine the patterns, the result is similar in silhouette.

 I think what I really want for it is an Ogden cami dress (either knee or maxi-length) but I can't commit to the silhouette because I'm pretty sure that it won't look good on me because the top is blousy.  Also: I hate wearing a belt in the summer.  Or pretty much any time.  And I'm not a fan of strapless bras.

So the Staple dress.  I bought some super cheap printed rayon challis on fabric.com that mimicked the drape of my rayon and set to making a wearable muslin.  (Side note: why it is that rayon challis is either dirt cheap or stupidly expensive?  There doesn't seem to be a quality difference to me). 

Details.  I decided I needed a medium on top, but couldn't decide if I needed a large or extra-large on the bottom, as I'm right between the hip measurements, and measuring the pattern didn't particularly reassure me.  I ended up grading from an extra large at the hem to a medium just above the waist line and I think that was the right call, although honestly, I think the top is a bit blousy and I could stand to go down to a small on top.  (But then the shoulders might not fit well.   It's a slight squeeze in the sleeeves as is).  I also added 3" of length, because April must be much smaller than me.  As drafted it would have been 37" long.  (Although, I'm digging shorter lengths these days, so maybe it would have been okay).

My main problem was that the inseam pockets did not line up side to side.  At all.  As in, one of my pocket openings is barely functional because I had to trim so much off the pocket to make it work.  Rayon is pretty shifty, so perhaps the fault was mine when I made my markings, but I will keep it in mind if I make another one.  

My next problem was in the shirring.  I tried, I really did, but Berninas are not set up to shirr.  I tried it the way that Rae recommends (who also uses a Bernina, but a newer model than mine), I tried it the way the manual for my machine recommends and nada.  It just didn't work.  So I ripped it all out and started again.  I made a casing with some 1/2" bias tape on the inside, seamed in the middle, and then threaded two 1/4" elastics through the channel with some difficulty.  The reason I didn't just put the 1/4" elastic on the inside as instructed is that when I've done this in the past it always looks bad on me.  I thought perhaps the combination of a casing+double channel elastic might mimic the shirring a bit better.  I think it does, but it still feels like a hot mess to me.

So not a stunning success, but still a wearable garment that will be lovely and cool in the disgusting summer swamp I live in.  (And we are going somewhere even hotter in July--oh joy--so it should be good for that too).  I still don't know what to do with my Indie Folk rayon, but I think I'm just going to save it for now.  Better to get a dress pattern I truly love than waste my nice fabric just to make it up.

I mentioned over the weekend that I had a bunch of sewing fails in March.  What I'm not going to show you are: a Stasia dress that came out so tight I looked like a sausage casing in flamingo pink, a red calico Washi dress in a maxi length that just didn't suit me, a wool crepe jumper that was horrid beyond belief, and a knit Washi that is frumptastic on me.  Blerg.  

The Stasia dress pattern could be salvaged by going up a size, but honestly, I'm just ground down about sewing right now.  I have one more make to show you tomorrow (a relative success), and some things I made for the girls, but I gotta say: Sewing is not doing it for me right now.  I usually make most of my girls' clothes for the summer, and I do most of my sewing for that around now, but after making them each a shirt and a dress, I'm just done.  The process of making those garments was not fun, and I found myself gritting my teeth through each make, just trying to get it done.  On the upside, I was able to recycle two of my old dresses to make theirs, so at least there's that.

I ended up going on amazon and old navy and buying them what they need for the warm weather this year and I don't feel bad about it at all.  I've also been thrifting a lot for myself because I can't seem to find what I want to wear right now, and there is a lot less investment in trying on a thrifted garment that can be returned than getting fabric and notions, fitting a new pattern, taking the time to sew it all up and then find it doesn't really work for me.  I do regret the waste of those failed makes, but hopefully someone else will thrift them and love them instead.

Shelbourne Falls Emery Mashup

A few weeks ago, I decided to take the plunge and download a customized croquis of myself from My Body Model.  I've been dithering about it since it was released, and there was a little spring sale going on, so I decided to go for it.  I like the croquis better than the Gertie ones because I don't have to add anything to match my shape.

I then happily set to sketching, trying out some silhouettes for dresses with fabric I had in my bins that I wanted to make up for the warmer weather.  I don't have many summer dresses right now, so it seemed like a productive use of creative energy and fabric.  I did buy a bit of fabric too, but some of it was to test out some patterns I was trying out.  

This was my first one.  I've had the Emery pattern for a long time now, and the bodice was the basis for my Frankendress, of which there are many iterations on this blog between 2014-2016 or so when Dottie Angel frocks took over my sewing queue.  I've lost a lot of weight since then, and I also wanted to try a sleeveless dress since I almost always wear a cardigan over my dresses now anyway, so I went ahead and retraced the bodice and skirt (I had never actually made up the skirt that goes with the pattern) and set to fitting with an old sheet.  I fitted the bodice only, and made a straight size 12.

My muslin told me that I needed to take in the side seams quite a bit (I ended up taking an additional 5/8" at the top of the side seam and tapering to a 7/8" side seam at the bottom), and lower and shorten the bust and waist darts.  I remembered from before that the bust darts are drafted for a much perkier chest than mine, so I had already lowered and shortened them when I traced off, but I ended up shortening a total of 1" and lowering about 1/2".  The waist darts were about 1/2" shorter than drafted. #hounddogears

Okay.  So I took my courage in my hands and cut into this Denyse Schmidt fabric I found on etsy.  It isn't particularly rare or dear, but I always hate to risk fabric on an unknown venture.  I wasn't sure how the sleeveless bit would really look (cardigan notwithstanding, I have a long-standing issue with my upper arms.  I'm mostly over it).  I also worried about the pouf of the skirt.  (And we all know how I feel about that).

My fears were well-founded on the skirt.  I pleated it using the washi dress pleats as a guide, but I had to add at least two or three extra sets of pleats to either side of the center on both the front and the back, which gives you an idea of how much volume is in that skirt.  I probably should have traced off a size six instead to reduce the volume.  I tried on the dress and then couldn't get it off my body quickly enough.  NOPE.  I threw the dress in the corner for a time out and flagellated myself for my profligacy with fabric.  

The trouble is, I don't have a go-to dress pattern right now.  I'm over my Dottie Angel frocks, style-wise, and the Washi dress is fine as a cool weather layering piece, but I don't actually like the style much for summer.  (I found this out the hard way when I made a maxi version out of some pretty red calico I got in an instagram sale.  No matter, I'll cut the maxi down for one of the girls, but still.  Grr.)

I posted my angst about the dress fail on instagram and one of my friends made a comment about tweaking it to save it.  I honestly hadn't thought about it--I was so upset about the failure that I couldn't even think about wanting that fabric anywhere near my body.  After I calmed down a bit (INFP/J, what I can say??  All the feels, all the time), I decided to try cutting the skirt down to a slimmer profile. 

So I pulled out my trusty Anne Adams 9481 and set to work with my seam ripper.  I took apart the whole skirt, recut it smaller, and reattached it all the next day.  And whomp-whomp.  I wasn't thrilled.  The fit was good, the dress was pretty, but I still wasn't wowed.  Neverthless, I put it in my closet to save for warmer weather and a reassessment.

Well.  The weather is definitely warmer now, and I tried it on (whilst taking a bunch of photos of finished makes) and while I don't think this will be an everyday kind of dress for me, it will work nicely for an event I have to go to in May that requires a bit of dressing up.  So yay for that.  It's also a decent summer church dress, I think.  So I guess it gets to stay in the closet.  I might take up the hem another inch or so, but maybe not.  I can't quite decide.

I'm happy I took the time to fit this dress carefully, and I do have a well-fitting dress out of it, that I could replicate in a different fabric, so there's that.  I could see making it in a lightweight corduroy for fall or winter, perhaps, for a dressy cold-weather garment.  (Note to self: make a pincord version for Christmas next year).

So the experience was valuable, and I do have a wearable garment out of the process.  Just not the wearable garment I thought I would have.  But that's okay too.

Spice Cake Everyday Skirt

 Hey, look!  I made something I don't hate!  This is, to be perfectly frank, nothing short of a miracle.  I've had a LOT of sewing fails this month.  A lot.  So much so that I've nearly decided to stop sewing for myself and my girls for a while.  (I probably am going to stop for a while, but I'll get to that later).

But!  I made a skirt!  That fits well!  That I like to wear!!  It is just my basic Everyday skirt, size medium, with 1" added to the length.  This time I changed the pleats to mimic how the pleats on the Washi dress fit (and also my failed Simplicity skirt).  I think it is probably my most flattering iteration yet.

Word to the wise, however.  If you make your back elastics too short, the front of the skirt will poof out in hugely unflattering and frump-inducing ways.  (Ask me how I know).  My original elastics were 10"--I have no idea why I thought this was long enough, but they were elastics I had pulled out of something else and thought they were okay.  Oof, no.  So I added about 2" to the ends and now it is just right.  Poof-factor gone.

A side note.  I know some people like a lot of volume in their clothing, and poof factor would be a plus for them, but I do not.  I find that a lot of volume swamps my frame and just looks bad on me.  I also find as I'm getting older, that poofy clothing feels too "young" to me.

So less poof.  This fabric is from the Kaufman Essex line, which is the cotton-linen blend, rather than the Brussels line I prefer which is linen-rayon, but I loved the color so much I decided to go for it.  It is a little stiff, but I imagine it will soften with washing/wearing over time.  The drape is decent for the fiber content, and it doesn't wrinkle that much.  

I made a 1" waistband because I'm finding that the 1.5" waistband called for by the pattern wants to roll on my figure.  I'm very short-waisted, so wearing a high-waisted skirt with a high waist band doesn't usually work for me.  I did do two lines of 1/2" elastic in the back, and while the front and back widths don't quite match, I like the fit and feel of this better than the 1" elastic.

I like this outfit a lot.  Which is saying something.  I'm trying hard to find myself in my body, and to be comfortable in my clothes.  Not just literally comfortable, but "this feels like me" comfortable.  I've really outgrown the styles of my 30s, and I'm sort of stumbling around in the dark, trying to figure out what feels right to me on the cusp of 40.  

I will say that I've been taking up all my hemlines on old makes as I feel better in shorter lengths right now.  I could perhaps lose the extra inch I add to this pattern, but this length still feels fine to me.  It's a weird place to be--trying to figure things out.  I'll get there in time, I suppose.  Or I won't.  But that's okay too.

This one works.  

Thrifting

You ever stand at the cusp of a moment that you know is the beginning of some kind of change?  But you don't really know what?  December 31 was such a moment for me.  We spent the holiday with some friends of ours in New York state, just over the line from Connecticut.  It was a marvelous few days, in a rustic setting, and there was a lot of unhurried conversation and general relaxation.  Our friends did a little dance party for the kids before we put them to bed (probably not the best idea, but it was New Year's Eve), and after, as most of the adults sat up and talked, I had a strong feeling that I was at the start of something.  I still don't know what that is, but I can feel it--change is coming.  I'm kind of holding my breath, waiting for whatever it is to happen.

For the past 18 months or so, I've been hard at work on my second novel (no news there).  This book has taken a lot of work, particularly emotional work, because of the nature of the story.  The characters go through some pretty tough things, and in order to write that journey, I had to travel that road with them.  Sometimes it felt like I was never going to get to the end of it. 

In January, I worked to some self-imposed deadlines, and then to some exterior deadlines, as I pushed to get the book to the point that I could pass it off to my three beta readers.  This meant not only a lot of polishing of the text, but I had to cut the novel from 170K words to 102K.  It was painful!! 

My goal was to get the manuscript to my readers by mid-February so that I could spend Lent working on query letters to shop the novel around, and also start developing my next book (I have three or four good ideas bubbling on the stove, so to speak, but have to develop and/or research them). 

I did meet my deadlines, and my manuscript is with my beta readers, but I'm at loose ends.  After having such a large portion of my creative space occupied by these characters and their story, it is strange to have them gone.  Sort of like saying good-bye to a long term houseguest.  I mean, I know I'll have to work on the manuscript again when I get it back later this spring, and there is still the arduous task of shopping the book around, but I'm no longer stitching the story from whole cloth.  I'll be doing alterations, to get the fit right. 

All that has meant that I've put sewing on the back burner.  The way back burner.  I find my sew-jo is kind of missing action (although I'm knitting tons, so there's that).  I have two dresses I'd like to make for late spring/summer, but that is all that is on my sewing list at the moment (and frankly, the dresses are optional).  I'm dithering about patterns unsure what to use, what will fit me best and suit me.  I  find myself reexamining my style, considering what suits me and flatters my today-body during this season of my life, which is one of almost constant churn (and lots of toast).

My winter clothes are mostly shop-bought or thrifted, and while I felt bad about it initially, I realized that there is a finite amount of creative energy in myself, and I've channelled most of it into the book, and the rest into my knitting.  In this cold season, that is a better use of my time. 

One of my goals for this year is to deepen my routines and rhythms, so that I don't have to think so much about them--I'll just do them.  This isn't a particularly profound goal, but it does mean a bit of mindfulness about how I spend my time at home, and about being emotionally present with my children.  They are moving into new stages, and that means different things for me as a parent. 

I know that these next few years are going to be a lot of churn for everyone and I want to make sure that my relationship with my kids is strong enough to get through it with them.  My goal is not to prevent their mistakes or save them from them, but to accompany them in their struggles, as they find their way to adulthood.  I hope to give them the tools to make good choices in their lives, and to build a foundation that they can lean on as adults, but I can't force them or control them in their choices either.  That has been an interesting lesson to learn, and one that I will need to continually remind myself of as they mature.

In a related matter, I've thought a lot these past weeks about what it is to love.  I think love is a radical acceptance of a person where they are, as they are, who they are.  Not to try to change them to suit yourself, just accompanying them on their journey, while you are on yours. 

This is a difficult lesson to learn.  I have special needs kids, and there is always in me the impulse to try and make my kids seem "normal" so that they won't stick out or be made fun of.  But that isn't who they are, and trying to deny that reality doesn't help anyone in the long run.  It's uncomfortable for me to be that radically accepting and loving.  But I know that I need to work more at it within myself. 

A lot of blather about not very much, but sometimes I find it helpful just to put this stuff down, if only for myself.

The Weather Out There

Before I lived here, most of the places I lived saw four pretty distinct seasons.  Then we moved to the East Coast.   The weather here is something else.

This one is totally true:

I think we might actually be in the spring of deception, but it is hard to tell.  Ha!