Spice Cake Everyday Skirt

 Hey, look!  I made something I don't hate!  This is, to be perfectly frank, nothing short of a miracle.  I've had a LOT of sewing fails this month.  A lot.  So much so that I've nearly decided to stop sewing for myself and my girls for a while.  (I probably am going to stop for a while, but I'll get to that later).

But!  I made a skirt!  That fits well!  That I like to wear!!  It is just my basic Everyday skirt, size medium, with 1" added to the length.  This time I changed the pleats to mimic how the pleats on the Washi dress fit (and also my failed Simplicity skirt).  I think it is probably my most flattering iteration yet.

Word to the wise, however.  If you make your back elastics too short, the front of the skirt will poof out in hugely unflattering and frump-inducing ways.  (Ask me how I know).  My original elastics were 10"--I have no idea why I thought this was long enough, but they were elastics I had pulled out of something else and thought they were okay.  Oof, no.  So I added about 2" to the ends and now it is just right.  Poof-factor gone.

A side note.  I know some people like a lot of volume in their clothing, and poof factor would be a plus for them, but I do not.  I find that a lot of volume swamps my frame and just looks bad on me.  I also find as I'm getting older, that poofy clothing feels too "young" to me.

So less poof.  This fabric is from the Kaufman Essex line, which is the cotton-linen blend, rather than the Brussels line I prefer which is linen-rayon, but I loved the color so much I decided to go for it.  It is a little stiff, but I imagine it will soften with washing/wearing over time.  The drape is decent for the fiber content, and it doesn't wrinkle that much.  

I made a 1" waistband because I'm finding that the 1.5" waistband called for by the pattern wants to roll on my figure.  I'm very short-waisted, so wearing a high-waisted skirt with a high waist band doesn't usually work for me.  I did do two lines of 1/2" elastic in the back, and while the front and back widths don't quite match, I like the fit and feel of this better than the 1" elastic.

I like this outfit a lot.  Which is saying something.  I'm trying hard to find myself in my body, and to be comfortable in my clothes.  Not just literally comfortable, but "this feels like me" comfortable.  I've really outgrown the styles of my 30s, and I'm sort of stumbling around in the dark, trying to figure out what feels right to me on the cusp of 40.  

I will say that I've been taking up all my hemlines on old makes as I feel better in shorter lengths right now.  I could perhaps lose the extra inch I add to this pattern, but this length still feels fine to me.  It's a weird place to be--trying to figure things out.  I'll get there in time, I suppose.  Or I won't.  But that's okay too.

This one works.  

Thrifting

You ever stand at the cusp of a moment that you know is the beginning of some kind of change?  But you don't really know what?  December 31 was such a moment for me.  We spent the holiday with some friends of ours in New York state, just over the line from Connecticut.  It was a marvelous few days, in a rustic setting, and there was a lot of unhurried conversation and general relaxation.  Our friends did a little dance party for the kids before we put them to bed (probably not the best idea, but it was New Year's Eve), and after, as most of the adults sat up and talked, I had a strong feeling that I was at the start of something.  I still don't know what that is, but I can feel it--change is coming.  I'm kind of holding my breath, waiting for whatever it is to happen.

For the past 18 months or so, I've been hard at work on my second novel (no news there).  This book has taken a lot of work, particularly emotional work, because of the nature of the story.  The characters go through some pretty tough things, and in order to write that journey, I had to travel that road with them.  Sometimes it felt like I was never going to get to the end of it. 

In January, I worked to some self-imposed deadlines, and then to some exterior deadlines, as I pushed to get the book to the point that I could pass it off to my three beta readers.  This meant not only a lot of polishing of the text, but I had to cut the novel from 170K words to 102K.  It was painful!! 

My goal was to get the manuscript to my readers by mid-February so that I could spend Lent working on query letters to shop the novel around, and also start developing my next book (I have three or four good ideas bubbling on the stove, so to speak, but have to develop and/or research them). 

I did meet my deadlines, and my manuscript is with my beta readers, but I'm at loose ends.  After having such a large portion of my creative space occupied by these characters and their story, it is strange to have them gone.  Sort of like saying good-bye to a long term houseguest.  I mean, I know I'll have to work on the manuscript again when I get it back later this spring, and there is still the arduous task of shopping the book around, but I'm no longer stitching the story from whole cloth.  I'll be doing alterations, to get the fit right. 

All that has meant that I've put sewing on the back burner.  The way back burner.  I find my sew-jo is kind of missing action (although I'm knitting tons, so there's that).  I have two dresses I'd like to make for late spring/summer, but that is all that is on my sewing list at the moment (and frankly, the dresses are optional).  I'm dithering about patterns unsure what to use, what will fit me best and suit me.  I  find myself reexamining my style, considering what suits me and flatters my today-body during this season of my life, which is one of almost constant churn (and lots of toast).

My winter clothes are mostly shop-bought or thrifted, and while I felt bad about it initially, I realized that there is a finite amount of creative energy in myself, and I've channelled most of it into the book, and the rest into my knitting.  In this cold season, that is a better use of my time. 

One of my goals for this year is to deepen my routines and rhythms, so that I don't have to think so much about them--I'll just do them.  This isn't a particularly profound goal, but it does mean a bit of mindfulness about how I spend my time at home, and about being emotionally present with my children.  They are moving into new stages, and that means different things for me as a parent. 

I know that these next few years are going to be a lot of churn for everyone and I want to make sure that my relationship with my kids is strong enough to get through it with them.  My goal is not to prevent their mistakes or save them from them, but to accompany them in their struggles, as they find their way to adulthood.  I hope to give them the tools to make good choices in their lives, and to build a foundation that they can lean on as adults, but I can't force them or control them in their choices either.  That has been an interesting lesson to learn, and one that I will need to continually remind myself of as they mature.

In a related matter, I've thought a lot these past weeks about what it is to love.  I think love is a radical acceptance of a person where they are, as they are, who they are.  Not to try to change them to suit yourself, just accompanying them on their journey, while you are on yours. 

This is a difficult lesson to learn.  I have special needs kids, and there is always in me the impulse to try and make my kids seem "normal" so that they won't stick out or be made fun of.  But that isn't who they are, and trying to deny that reality doesn't help anyone in the long run.  It's uncomfortable for me to be that radically accepting and loving.  But I know that I need to work more at it within myself. 

A lot of blather about not very much, but sometimes I find it helpful just to put this stuff down, if only for myself.

The Weather Out There

Before I lived here, most of the places I lived saw four pretty distinct seasons.  Then we moved to the East Coast.   The weather here is something else.

This one is totally true:

I think we might actually be in the spring of deception, but it is hard to tell.  Ha!

Yarn Along: March

~knitting~

I already blogged my latest Carbeth, but I also finished the hat I started in February, as well as the Isla shrug.  Unfortunately, the hat came out too big, and my attempts to felt it smaller didn't really work.

 My first make with this hat pattern was in super wash wool, and putting it through the dryer did the trick, but the Wool of the Andes yarn on this version didn't really seem to change size at all.  I guess if I'm going to keep making this pattern, I'd better stick with super wash wool to get the fit I want.  How perfect is that color, though?  I'm tempted to unravel and start again except now the yarn is felted, so I think it would end up being a Job, and I don't need that right now.

The Isla shrug is also just okay.  I can't quite figure out how to style it with separates, but I think I will like it with a dress when it is not quite as cold as it is right now.

I also cast on a Stokey cowl pullover because I liked how my first one fit, but didn't love some things about the yarn.  So far it is going quickly--I knit a good chunk of the back over two days' time.

~reading~

I finished Sarah Ruden's Paul Among the People in one big gulp and highly recommend it.  She is a classicist who takes on the Pauline epistles in order to properly contextualize them in their polytheistic pagan context, and the results are remarkable.  She parses a lot of words that we view through a distorting lens of Puritan thinking about such things and really tries to understand what Paul meant and how the intended audience would have understood when he was writing.  

I'm nearly done with Handywoman by Kate Davies.  It is wonderful.  Kate Davies is the pattern designer of the Carbeth, and many other wonderful knitting patterns, but she also writes books, and this one is about her experience of having a stroke at age 36 (ten years ago) and how she's worked through it all.  It is a marvelous book.  

The book brought up a lot for me, since I had a stroke-like neurologic event in January 1999 that affected my whole left side. The whole thing was terrifying because I didn't know what was going on--just that my body was out of my control, and no one could tell me why.  It was two years before I could walk without my left leg visibly dragging and I could grip things normally with my left hand.  I had new and scary symptoms crop up over the following months and no one could tell me what was happening.  

After reading Kate's book, I realized that the debilitating fatigue that dogged me for a number of years after was probably neurologic fatigue, which is just a whole separate beast from the sort of tired you get from not sleeping well.  I think too, that a number of falls I took in the couple years after were directly related, although I didn't realize it at the time.  

Mostly, I can't believe it has been 20 years since it happened. I'm still kind of upset about how indifferently I was treated by the medical community (my family doctor not included--he was the one who advocated for an MRI and other diagnostic tests, but I was in college eight hours away at the time, and it was far far too late by the time any testing was done).  

There was the small town ER doctor who was annoyed at being called to duty at 11 p.m. on a Friday night when I showed up, scared out of my mind and unable to use my limbs properly.  He did no tests, called for no consults, gave me no medicines, just a pat on the head and sent me back to the dorms with a mutter about flu.  There were the people at the clinic in town that gave me antibiotics two days later but also declined to test me for anything else.  

When I had a scary resurgence of symptoms in January 2016, almost certainly brought on by chronic stress and sleep deprivation due to Birdie's health problems, the neurologist I saw only shrugged and suggested not very gently that I get psychological help.  Thankfully, the symptoms resolved themselves a few months later, and I'm more or less back to what my own neurologic baseline is now.  

I'm trying very hard to forgive these people, as Kate forgave the doctor who shockingly misdiagnosed her at first, and almost certainly made her recovery more difficult.  

I also made good headway into The Power of Silence, and while it is good, it isn't really a whole book's worth of material.  It probably should have been edited down to a long pamphlet or article, as so much of it is repetitive.  That said, I've dog-earred a couple pages to return to for later contemplation.

In other book news, I quietly re-released my first novel with Amazon Kindle last week.  The book has been lightly edited and the cover updated.  It is available in paperback as well.  I wrote it ten years ago, and while I've learned a lot as a writer, it was still a fun story to write. It is an historical thriller set in Holland during WW2.

~sewing~

Another Washi dress, what else?  I realized that my green Washi dress from the fall goes perfectly with my Jade Carbeth, and wanted something to wear with my newest teal Carbeth too.  

So off I trundled to the latest Cotton+Steel offerings, and found this lovely teal number.  The colors are absolutely my jam, and I'm super happy with it.  

Apologies for rubbish photos--it is super cold today, and I was short on time this morning when the light is okay.  So you get indoor photos taken at my kids' school.  Take my word for it that the bodice is exactly the same as my other two Washis from the fall.

~watching~

I've been rewatching stuff lately, because not much appeals to me, but I must write about two movies that I cannot stop thinking about: Silver Linings Playbook and A Star is Born. 

The latter film seriously blew me away.  It is just that good.  Bradley Cooper amazes me.  His singing voice is really wonderful, and the story line is so beautifully wrought.  

I am not a Lady Gaga musical fan, but she was so good in this film, and her singing as Ally is soulful and lovely.  I bought the soundtrack too.  My only question about the story is this: when Ally begins to be managed by a professional, her sound changes a lot and becomes a lot more manufactured ("pop" if you will).  I wondered whether that was a deliberate choice/commentary on what it takes to succeed in the music business: that you have to give up your sound and what makes you unique as a vocal artist in order to "make it" or whether that was just not on the radar.

Lent starts for us on Monday, so we are having our Cheesefare Week now.  Bring on the butter and pancakes!

Linking with Ginny for Yarn Along!

Simplicity 1887

I wish I could make sound effects on this blog post, because it would start out with a downward chime something like: wah, wah, wah.  (Even writing that out looks weird).  

I've had in mind to make up the Simplicity 1887 skirt for at least a year, largely on the strength of Masha's makes.  I had such good luck with M7353, also on her recommendation, that I thought this would be a good pattern for me.  It seemed reminiscent of my beloved Everyday Skirt pattern, but slimmer through the body, so I thought it was worth a shot.

*cue the ominous music*  I had in mind to cut my Folk Birds dress down to a skirt since the fall at least, but have been putting it off for a variety of reasons.  This week I decided to be brave, cut into my dress, and hope for the best.  I also decided that I was going to be okay if it turned out badly.

I should say first that these photos make the skirt look better than it really is.  The pattern is bananas.  There are some nice things about it--the deep yoked pockets, the shape of the skirt, and the surprisingly flattering pleats in the front.  But the waistband construction is completely bonkers, and the elastic application more so.  It was my first time making a shaped waistband, however, so the experience wasn't totally wasted.

First, my mods: Masha recommended sizing down to a 16, since our lower measurements are similar and she found a 16 worked well for her (I DM'd her on Instagram to ask for advice before cutting), and I think that was exactly right.  I added 2.5" to the skirt length because the drafted length would have been mid-thigh on me.  

I also lined it with some leftover bemberg from the stash, which added some construction complication to the already bonkers waistband.  I was expecting this to work like the Everyday skirt, which is clever and easy to put together.  Not so much.  My first mistake was not having enough fabric for the facing on the waistband, so I used lining instead (I interlined the waistband with some medium weight cotton for stability).  The inner lining makes the waistband slippery and was a pain in the neck to top stitch neatly.  After ripping out the stitches three or four times, I gave up.  Let's just say it's not my best work and don't look too closely at the details.  

The skirt also doesn't want to sit at my natural waist, so I feel like it is falling down every five minutes. I realize it is drafted to sit 1" below the natural waist, but this is not flattering on me, and I was hoping that by snugging the elastic, it would sit higher.  Nope.  Also: the elastic guides are completely wrong.  I used 4" less on each to start with and still cut off 3" at the end.  I probably should have used braided elastic instead of knit, since I think that is part of the fit problem--the knit elastic isn't "firm" enough to stay put.

Honestly, I think I could achieve the same look with the Everyday skirt by taking out the side panels (I have actually.  I made two skirts this way last winter, although I don't like either of them and they are in the naughty pile waiting to be remade into something else).  I like everything about this skirt except the waistband and where it sits on me, but that waistband is super irritating, so I know I won't enjoy wearing it.  Blerg.  

I almost didn't want to show these photos, but I think it is useful to show what doesn't work as well as what does.  Part of me wants to purchase the fabric again and have another go with a different pattern, but I'm not sure I have it in me.  My sew-jo is seriously missing in action, and this skirt was not particularly fun to make.  I have a knit dress cut out to try as soon as I have coordinating thread, but I'm not that excited about it.  Part of it is that it is still quite cold here, and I really don't have a lot of options to keep myself warm except for wool maxi skirt+wool sweater combination.  It's okay, but I confess that I'm bored of it, after three months.

Update: I unpicked the whole waistband and facing and removed the wonkus elastic.  I redid the top stitching and did the waistband construction just like an Everyday Skirt, which brought the elastic bit more to the back of the skirt (instead of having a weird bulge right to the front of my hips where I do not need bulk!) and also used braided elastic which is much firmer.  I'm so much happier with the fit now!  The skirt is great, and I'll be happy to wear it!  It isn't worth retaking the photos since the fit issues are subtle and don't show up in photos, but take my word for it.  

Update # 2: Nope, not a success.  I wore it for a day after I redid the elastics and I was literally pulling the skirt up every five minutes.  Drove me nuts.  So while I think it is flattering and (mostly) comfortable, the skirt is just not going to work for me.  But at least it looks nice inside and out now, and I'm happy to pass it along to someone else who it will suit better.

Another Carbeth!

So I finished another Carbeth pullover sweater.  This one went lickety-split because I was using bulky yarn and I didn't have to weave in nearly as many ends!  (Apologies for the not-very-detailed photos.  We were taking them quick-a-minute this morning on a museum outing with my parents, and the girls were restless).

I made my usual modifications: size 2, but with a waist taper of 20 stitches from the cast on at the bottom.  I'm considering making one of these as written, but I think the taper is more flattering so, I probably won't.  I think I'm done with Carbeths for this season anyway.  I keep thinking it would be interesting to try deeper ribbing on the body of the sweater, but I always forget.  I also would like to try sizing down another needle on the ribbing.  My gauge has been 10.5 for all my Carbeths, and I size down to a 10 for the ribbing, but I'm curious to know how it would look with doing the ribbing on a 9.

I also made the turtleneck a bit longer than called for because I wanted it to flop slightly.  I considered making it a cowl neckline, but I was playing yarn chicken slightly and wasn't sure I had enough (I probably did, but it is fine as is).

No other things to note!  I used Wool of the Andes bulky yarn.  The colorway is a deep teal green (I know it looks more blue in these photos, but it has a definite spruce-green cast to it.  It is a lovely shade that is difficult to photograph accurately).  I also made the body slightly more cropped than my previous iterations--I think this one is 9" from the bottom to the underarm and it is just about perfect. 

I'm actually wearing this over a dress, which is great, as this dress isn't very warm on its own, but I don't like how it looks with a cardigan.  (I'm just not into cardigans this year, for whatever reason).  This sweater is just the thing (I've worn my other Carbeth pullover with this dress too, which gave me the idea!).  I think this color would also look good with my orange Everyday Skirt as well.

I immediately cast on a wrap/shawl/cowl thing, and have plans for a Pabaigh this spring too.  This is a knitting season for me, I guess!

Yarn Along: February

Apologies for the relative blog silence.  January is always a lost month for me--between January 6 and February 15, we have one birthday, three major Church feasts, the Twelve Days, three namesdays, Philip's day, a bunch of days off school for national holidays and professional development, and the general chaos of winter illnesses.  I usually get to about now and look around, blinking, and wondering where the month went.  After a lingering pneumonia/bronchitis for Piglet that required three rounds of antibiotics and oral steroids (fun times!), four rounds of stomach flu and some minor fevers in as many weeks, plus a stomach flu-migraine combo for me on Friday (I'm still recovering!), I'm ready for some healthy stretches. 

Way back in December, I had my head down for the first half of the month, trying to get through a particular number of edits on my manuscript so that I could put it to bed for a month while my kids were off for winter break and then the general craziness of our Christmas and so forth.  I figured things would be quieter after MLK day and planned to get back to the manuscript then.  

I spent that week doing fussy editing using a software program that looks for misused grammar, told prose, overused words, and other stylistic problems.  I was only able to work with 20 pages at a time, so it was tedious in the extreme.  I went through the whole manuscript that week (all 400+ pages!) and then this past week have been trying to do a general read-through for narrative flow, pacing, and consistency.  I'm two-thirds through, as this read through requires some patience and attention.  My goal is to get the manuscript to my beta reader by mid-February so that she can get it back to me by Pascha.  Then I hope to start shopping it around to agents (gulp!)

But on to making:

~knitting~

Another Carbeth cardigan.  *yawn*  What can I say?  I'm a one (or possibly two) trick pony.  I don't actually love this one as much.  I don't know if it is the color or what, but it isn't nearly as useful to my wardrobe as I thought it would be.  I seem to wear it around the house a lot, but I've had a hard time building outfits around it.  I don't love how it looks with my outfit today.

I'm also not thrilled with how this yarn behaved after blocking.  It is the same Carlton Merino Supreme as my Daisy Carbeth, but it doesn't look nearly as nice, and the woven ends keep wanting to pop through to the front side.  A couple of mods I made to this version: I made the fold over collar shorter, since I thought it worked better with my shorter neck.  I also made the body a bit shorter (although I think I could have gone shorter still, given how much it grew with blocking).  I'm working on a pullover version (I know, I know) and the body on that one is the shortest yet.

I also knit the sleeves flat, as with my other versions, but on this one, I did the seaming last, and attached them flat in the round, which I liked better.  I also did a three-needle bind off for the underarms, which I think looks nicer than what I did on the previous iterations.  The body is tapered like my previous versions too.  (Cast on 20 fewer stitches than a size 2, and increased five times every five or six rows).

WIPs:

A little hat.  I rediscovered a beret I made a year or two ago and wore it a few times over the weekend.  (I know I posted a photo of it at some point, but I never put it on ravelry and do you think I can find it now?  Nooo).  The hat had originally come out too big, but I reblocked it and it is perfect now.  It is Swish Rainforest Heather (a dark teal-green).  So I'm making another one in a lighter color.  My hair may be curly but it is still thin, especially at the back, and having something over the back of my head in cold temperatures keeps me a lot warmer.  I think this beret will be super versatile.

Another Carbeth, this time a pullover.  I'm using yarn that I bought with a birthday gift certificate from last summer.  It is Wool of the Andes bulky, and while I don't love the hand of it, I'm hoping the finished sweater will block nicely.  The color is much more saturated than it looks like in the photo.

A lightweight pullover from Hannah Fettig in purple Carlton Merino Supreme.  This one is going super slow because of the gauge (24 stitches per 4") but it is small enough right now to be a nice traveling project.

~watching~

The Last Kingdom on Netflix.  I took the kids to see a special Viking exhibit at a local museum here during the winter break, and I remembered that I had started this show a while back but never finished the pilot.  I went back to it and was completely entranced with the series.  

I've had a story idea kicking around in my head for a long time that is vaguely medieval in setting, and I'm strongly considering setting it in Alfred's Saxon Britain.  The show explores a lot of different themes, and I really enjoy the whole cast.  I'm also having a Moment with the costuming (which I know is not totally historically accurate, but I just love the whole look of the show so much that I don't care).  I'm eager for season four!

Next: Captain Fantastic.  If you haven't seen this, you must!  It is so so good.  It is also hilarious, and heart-felt, and so well done.

I introduced the kids to Cool Runnings one Saturday when they were sick and the weather was awful, and that was so fun to watch again.  If you've never seen it, it is the (mostly) true story of the first Jamaican blobsled team to go to the Olympics in Calgary in 1988.  It is a clean family movie and such a great story.

Last week when I was sick, I watched The Old Man and the Gun with Robert Redford.  It was fine.  Not fantastic, but fine. I also watched the Coen brothers' Hail, Caesar! and it was everything you'd expect from that creative team.  I enjoyed it a lot.

I also rewatched High Rise and found new things to think about it.  That movie (and the book) are so provocative.  I've said it before, but the book by J.G. Ballard belongs in the great canon of 20th century dystopian literature (alongside Huxley, Orwell, and Bradbury) and everyone should read it.  It has the added bonus of having probably one of the best opening lines I've ever seen.

Long time readers will remember that I loved the first season of Medici (I wrote a whole post about it) and I've been eager to see season two.  It is...disappointing.  I barely made it through the first episode, and I'm not sure I'm going to bother with the rest of the season.  Boo.

~sewing~

Nothing at all.  I've been thrifting a bit, but my sew-jo is missing in action.  I guess all my creative energy is going into the book and my needles.

~reading~

I also read a lot this month.  A few were re-reads (Unapologetic by Spufford and the Mack book) but the others were new to me.  Several were continued reading for my novel.  

I loved Madeleine L'Engle's story of her marriage to Hugh Franklin.  It is a beautifully wrought book.  The Listener was recommended by some writing book I read a while back, and it is good and interesting, but I didn't read it closely after a few chapters.  

The Mamalakis parenting book was so helpful.  I'm sorry it took me so long to get to it, but my relunctance was mostly down to a lot of parenting books not being helpful when you are in the trenches of parenting.  Mamalakis (who has seven children himself) gives a lot of very practical advice that can be used right away, even before you finish the book!  

I also read this book that is in my kids' stacks after The Last Kingdom:

I'm dying to see the Saxon exhibit at the British Library. A friend of mine was able to see it in January and said it is easily one of the best exhibits she's ever seen (and she's seen her fair share!) but it is a limited exhibit and I don't have any hope of a dash to London in the next month.  So it goes.  

I also read a Harold Pinter play this week that gave me some things to chew on.

^^^ On my stack currently.  I'm saving Handywoman for when I finish the Paul book.  The Paul book is seriously blowing my mind.  Sarah Ruden is a classics scholar, and she takes on the Pauline epistles to understand them in the pagan polytheistic cultural context in which Paul is writing.  She carefully parses the Greek texts to get at the meaning, and with her classics background, can situate them in the cultural milieu.  It is fascinating.  If ever you are tempted to think that our own age is in a terrible state, her book will quickly disabuse you of that notion.  Mostly, I took from it that there is nothing new under the sun.  People are broken, and have been, for all time, and that brokenness is always present in society.

Linking with Ginny for Yarn Along!